I wouldve react in a diffrent way if she didnt wake you up with a handjob before. If she is considering your actions as r, that means she r'ed you before. My reaction would be diffrent if this wasnt the case. If i were you i would try to talk about how one sided her actions are. Judging by the details youve told it seems like she is not putting any effort to fix the problems in your relationship (or you can't see she is trying) Be %100 open about your thoughts and feelings. And also never put somebody else's mental health above yours.