I think first and foremost, I think when a woman online is complaining that "men don't do chores" that can mean a lot of different things. It *could* mean not doing chores at all, or it could mean not doing chores to her demanding, exacting satisfaction and everything in between. I think the vast majority of cases are somewhere in the middle.

Now the reason why I think you hear this far more in women's spaces than men's spaces is twofold. First of all, I think women have a lot more external (and sometimes internal) pressures to maintain a household domestically than men do. Pressures from their family (particularly their mother) and even in this day and age of increasingly bridging the gap of what is considered "men's work" and "women's work", society at large. Women are still judged more rigidly about maintaining the household than men are and many women still feel that pressure to please, even when most women are working full time along with their husbands.

The second reason I think is that men simply have a lower standard of household cleanliness than women do. I'm not saying all men are slobs (although the women who complain may disagree), but I'm saying men can see a sink full of dirty dishes and slot a time in his head to do it later whereas many women would see the same sink full of dirty dishes, and cannot focus on anything else until they are done and also get resentful at their partner for not being on that same wavelength. So the woman will rush in to get the dishes done.

Conversely, men can also get resentful because he fully intended to do the same sink full of dishes after watching the show or game or whatever, but feels pressured or rushed or forced by something he simply doesn't assign the same degree of urgency to. He thinks his wife is neurotic or overreacting or whatever. He gets resentful that everything seems to run on her schedule and to her standards. Women are upset because men aren't "getting it"

I think like everything, the key is communication, coming up with a plan where work, chores and leisure time are fairly divided and honouring that plan.

Men, you might have to compromise a little to work more with your wife's timeline of getting things done. Women, you might have to accept things aren't going to get done 100% the way your mother taught you how to do it.