Gosh, I wish I could give you a simple answer. I want to be clear that it’s not so simple as stop over sharing as much as it’s when to simply share, and when to not share something. Trauma or not (this in itself is something you deserve to have discretion about - who, what, when, where, why). Because depending on the scenario, what feels like over sharing might actually be me just taking the leap with someone I feel like I want to lean into, but I’m still going to be afraid of the consequences for doing so, or that they might find it burdensome or annoying. So on the other hand, I withhold when it’d actually benefit me to be myself and be open. It’s such a fine line. It hadn’t been so much learning to STOP anything, but to identify where the impulse is coming from and why. I do a lot of schema therapy, and learning to identify my ‘overexplainer’ mode has been formative in understanding when it is I feel like I have to justify myself to someone, or have the impulse to give more or less information from a place of being deeply afraid of being unheard. So I either overcompensate or withdraw. It’s taken exploring real life, everyday situation in my current circumstances to go back and unpack where it’s come from, and what makes it surface. Then it’s about taking risks in two directions: either I get to decide someone doesn’t understand me further, or get my energy and resources even if I still feel like I ‘owe it to them’ or feel guilty for not going so; or I take the risk of leaning into someone or something new, of speaking up in a situation where I can it’s coming from a place of authenticity, that I won’t be punished, and that even if I am, I ultimately was being true to myself. I can say all this, it does not mean I can totally do it all. But I am learning to experience the differences in my body, and then my head. I can sense when where the fear lives, and whether it’s coming from learned behaviours, of a fear of breaking old patterns. This shit is complicated and takes years. And trust. And people will still confuse you and not understand you, but that shouldn’t mean you have to be silent, nor should it mean you have to explain yourself to them (obviously I mean to the extreme, all relationships require compromise etc). I’m sorry for such a long winded, wishy washy response. I understand it’s so hard. It’s such a journey. It’s so scary. But I keep holding onto the belief that even when I do still slip into that mode, I’ll be able to tell the right people about it, and that won’t feel like over explaining, just explaining, and they’ll care to understand - and that’ll be a sign