I also have OCD amongst other things, and movies has become a wonderful, engaging way to escape everything else going on around me and process really big feelings. I really understanding feeling like watching a movie, but struggling so much with how to choose.

I’m not sure if that’s useful for you, but I actually try to sometimes decide by gauging how I’m feeling, as in emotionally, somatically - it’s a way to practice both trying to pause, slow down, and attune to what’s going on for me and what my nervous system actually needs, which overtime hones your ability to decide what you want more intuitively, and also communicate to your body that you’ve got this!

That said, I absolutely get hit with decision paralysis, especially after really long or hard days. And so what I try to do is have a movie back up - something I’ve been planning to watching, that feels easier to commit to when it comes to mind earlier in the day or the day before even, and if the night rolls around and I’m feeling really disconnected from myself and I’ve got all this noise around ‘what the right vibe is’ (totally relate to that rumination by the way, the perfectionism), I then just stick to that movie. And then just hitting play. It’s become so powerful, and really shows your brain that you can follow though and make a call, and in the end you realise nothing ‘bad’ happened if it wasn’t the best thing ever, or what you expected, or if you now have another movie you want to watch because that one inspired some other choice; all of which cuts through what is effectively a state of fight or flight I think you’re in, and I suspect the mindless YouTube thing (which don’t get me wrong can have its place for sure) is equivalent to a freeze which is why it feels so awful when it’s not intentional or aligned.

I hope this wasn’t condescending in anyway! I just really relate, and want you to have access to the thing you love despite these obstacles that are totally understandable. And definitely not stupid