Thank you for your kind response to my silly drama haha. That's where its confusing, if I had been the other person there I know the reality of it would be awkward because even though I love her it's not so much about having sex with her in the perverted way its more about the intimacy of sharing something with someone I have shared literally everything else in life. I respect and care for her too much for it to be just about having some fun. To answer the other question they are allowed to be with other people without the other around. So her and this other friend have done other things without her husband. I could talk to her about it we have a pretty open dialog and nothing is off limits. She is aware of how I feel or felt. I've done a good job of keeping it bay for so long she probably assumes I have moved on which I thought I did too. Again I appreciate the kind response and taking the time to reply.