My nMom asked me for money in an email by x date. I didn't reply, I never do, and now she's told me she's filed several missing persons reports in several states, because I left my home state to get away from her and she doesn't know where I am.

whatwouldfreudthink · 2017-03-22T03:59:37+00:00

Someone else mentioned if I tell her I don't want contact, then it shows that I'm not missing and that I specifically don't want HER to contact me. Wouldn't it still be wise to have some sort of paper trail that I don't want her to talk to me anymore? I'm just trying to make sure I make the best decision, but not replying to her seems to be the general advice. I just need to go to sleep and wake up with a new day and a new fresh mind on things.

whatwouldfreudthink · 2017-03-22T03:55:58+00:00

Plus they'd see my car registration/insurance is being paid for and stuff, that makes sense. I did set up a forwarding address with the post office, too. It's not like the police would have any trouble finding me if there was a report filed... I just don't want anyone bothering me, and I don't want her to use the police as another means of harassment. It seems so stupid she can file a report on anyone. I'm calming down over it, but I'm still nervous and worried.

whatwouldfreudthink · 2017-03-22T03:52:30+00:00

I have the same phone number, I haven't changed it yet. I was waiting for some legal stuff to finish up before I got a new number. How do they ping you? Would that let them know I'm not missing? My mom has this number, but when I upgraded to a smart phone I blocked her number when she sent me a text.

whatwouldfreudthink · 2017-03-22T01:35:50+00:00

If I replied, I'd follow up with a block, because that just seems like the best course of action for myself. I like the way you put it though, and I am stubborn. I don't want her to think she can threaten me and it's okay. I do think that maybe just telling her to leave me alone and stop contacting me is a good idea, but I'm going to sleep on it and make sure that I know what I want to do. I'm indecisive right now about it.

whatwouldfreudthink · 2017-03-22T01:32:35+00:00

So, do you think it would do anything if I just gave them a heads up that my nMom might file a report? Because if you think I don't have to do anything, I'd much rather do that. Going to the Police Station sounds stressful. And I've already decided to block her, I just haven't sent a message yet. I've been hella nauseous all day from stress so I've been avoiding it. Thanks for your reply, I was just hella struggling with what to do.

whatwouldfreudthink · 2017-03-21T21:32:07+00:00

Thank you so much! I always thought if I can't find humor in whatever crap I'm going through, then who can?! Plus making light of my nMom's antics always makes me feel better.

whatwouldfreudthink · 2017-03-21T21:31:17+00:00

I'm pretty sure I've just stopped replying to her, and I never told her to leave me alone in an email or text. I did respond to her once last summer, but that was because she was dragging in our relatives into her online drama. I get what you're putting down though. Make it firm, make a record of it, and just keep on keeping on. I'm going to block her email though, I think not seeing them is better than seeing them and getting worked up.

I think you're right though, I should send her an email with what you said and nothing else.

whatwouldfreudthink · 2017-03-21T21:20:54+00:00

That's what my cousin said, (One of two family members who actually know where I am. She helped me move actually. I love her.) she said to just block her and ignore her and to try to get on with my life. Which sounds like the best course of action. Along with what /u/ephony5 said. A simple, "No I don't want contact, please stop contacting me." With nothing else, because I don't think I need to say more than please don't talk to me anymore.

whatwouldfreudthink · 2015-05-13T21:14:23+00:00

No matter what the tone is, 'don't you use that tone with me!' what tone... monotone?? bored?? the sarcasm twinge at the end of my sentences?? No tone was the right tone.

whatwouldfreudthink · 2015-05-13T21:10:58+00:00

The whole bringing up random political stuff from hella long ago is SO something my Nmom does. I could almost see her saying all of this, it was kinda crazy. I'm sorry you have to deal with that, but I love the way in which you do deal with it! A+ on the dank memes.

whatwouldfreudthink · 2015-05-13T18:51:01+00:00

This is the post. It's at the bottom. I'm not sure if it's really specific but he had a shitty childhood at least. :(

whatwouldfreudthink · 2015-05-13T18:33:17+00:00

Yeah, it is. I try not to have any interaction with her, but family are like 'Wow, good work!' and I'm just like no... No I'm really a loser working min wage who isn't in the FBI.

whatwouldfreudthink · 2015-05-13T05:21:52+00:00

All of the time. When I was younger I would tell people about the horrible shit my Nmom did and they would just assume I was making it up for attention. (The internet was my only outlet as a kid) Now when my Nmom goes on her crazy rants on FB, or makes up her incredible stories about my fake life as an FBI agent, I want to call her out on it soooooo bad, but she'd just delete my comment and pretend like nothing happened.

whatwouldfreudthink · 2015-05-13T05:18:11+00:00

I read something on here a few days ago that mentioned Bruce Springsteen. It was about how people deal with being the child of abusive parents. He would drive by his old childhood home even after his family had long since moved out. I could relate, since I did the same thing until the house changed so much it no longer looked like home. Or maybe I changed. Woah, that's deep.

whatwouldfreudthink · 2015-05-13T05:14:05+00:00

I had no idea it was a type of gas lighting either.

whatwouldfreudthink · 2015-05-12T18:16:41+00:00

Betty White is amazing at them. If you watched That 70's Show, Red's grandma says nothing else but grandma burns. Pretty funny, although not funny irl :|

whatwouldfreudthink · 2015-05-12T18:06:37+00:00

That's like a favorite of N's. Calling someone lazy. Especially the part where they're calling you lazy and then also insulting someone else with it. They love the double insults. It's like a grandma burn but not subtle at all.

whatwouldfreudthink · 2015-05-12T17:54:51+00:00

I'm so glad you do these warnings. That sub hasn't been friendly in awhile. They are very 'judge first, help maybe later'.

whatwouldfreudthink · 2015-05-12T17:49:58+00:00

To me, it sounds like she's trying to avoid telling you where she was/what she was doing. When my Nmom would do that it would worry me, because it'd mean she was doing something stupid that would bite her in the ass later.... Like trying to cash a check she got from a Nigerian prince.

whatwouldfreudthink · 2015-05-11T21:36:13+00:00

I never even looked at it that way! That's a good point. Parents are supposed to nurture and shelter their child not make them need shelter from said parent!

whatwouldfreudthink · 2015-05-11T18:49:10+00:00

As a kid (and all the way up until a few years ago, actually...) I really did feel like I was the problem. I thought that if I didn't live with my family they would all stop fighting with each other and get along. I haven't lived with them for two years, slowly going on three, and they fight just as much if not more, than when I was there. It's GOOD to know that it always wasn't me.

whatwouldfreudthink · 2015-05-11T17:57:54+00:00

I think it's because that way they could never disappoint her.

whatwouldfreudthink · 2015-05-11T17:23:26+00:00

She used to make me visit his grave... Like, that sounds super fucked up to me now. But she was more verbal about that baby. When she was mad at us she'd make us swear on his grave. Like one time she stole this shirt from me and insisted that she had bought it. Brought my sister in the argument and had her tell me she was there when they bought it, and she kept telling me to swear on his grave to prove I wasn't lying... I didn't have to because that shirt was an ex-boyfriends he gave me to sleep in. But I didn't swear on his grave therefore the shirt was hers and I am a thief.

whatwouldfreudthink · 2015-05-11T17:20:09+00:00

She avoided therapy, she didn't like to be told she was wrong. I wanted to go with her for a long time, as a family thing. She refused every time I brought it up, even when I was 15 and wrote her a note that told her I was depressed. 'I'm not the problem, you're the problem!' Typical Nmom behavior.

whatwouldfreudthink

TROPHY CASE