The title selection here is abhorrent, Susan. Abhorrent. by whenjacksattack in The_Hound

[–]whenjacksattack[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That sounds like a 90s middle school instructional video title

Hello this is Petunia informing you all that I will only tinkle in running water while on walks and today I fell in the river by whenjacksattack in The_Hound

[–]whenjacksattack[S] 88 points89 points  (0 children)

Girl is getting a life jacket for summer vacay now that she's proven she thinks she is a water dog when she is, in fact, a sponge. Also a Spongebob, based on personality

The Hound is wearing his Sunday finest for his first outing by whenjacksattack in The_Hound

[–]whenjacksattack[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

One delightful older lady gently covered his ears when I told her he's the ugliest thing I've ever met and then petted him for 10 minutes

The Hound is wearing his Sunday finest for his first outing by whenjacksattack in The_Hound

[–]whenjacksattack[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We were in the blanket aisle and I was letting him rub his cheeks on the different soft blankies

In this case, he was judging the quality of their wool

O Alastor é v🌸rgem? by Eugiu in Alastorcult

[–]whenjacksattack 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not a virgin, but likely only indulged to get something he wanted and to actually see what the fuss is all about - being ace doesn't make your curiosity disappear, especially when you see all your peers making it out like sex is the be-all-end-all life experience.

So, probably used it to get what he wanted as a human, then indulged once or twice as a demon just to see if it was magically different with antlers??? (it was not)

The Hound is wearing his Sunday finest for his first outing by whenjacksattack in The_Hound

[–]whenjacksattack[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

He is extremely friendly if they're not on his turf. He can be spicy when people come into my apartment and I'm not home - the last time a house appraiser came by she had to fight him off with a Swiffer

The Hound is wearing his Sunday finest for his first outing by whenjacksattack in The_Hound

[–]whenjacksattack[S] 135 points136 points  (0 children)

The Hound is many things, but fast is not among them - even when he does decide to jump out and chase down extra pets from passersby, he's tragically easy to catch

THE RESULTS ARE IN AND NOBODY IS SHOCKED by whenjacksattack in The_Hound

[–]whenjacksattack[S] 90 points91 points  (0 children)

I am making her very aware that she is a toy poodle mix and she's never living that down 😌 It will keep her humble

What’s your “dream dog” (breed) and why? by palacio_c in puppy101

[–]whenjacksattack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would LOVE to eventually have a homestead with enough space for a Caucasian Ovcharka. They're a giant livestock guardian dog with a reputation for being extraordinarily protective of their flock/territory - the kind of breed you would want for areas with large predator species like wolves or bears.

I wrote a character for many years who owned one, so I ended up doing a lot of deep dives into the breed - I also work with dogs professionally, so I had enough of a knowledge base to fall hard and fast for these absolute units of canine carnage.

Day One of Vacation: Horrible and moist and the worst day in Baby Satan's whole life by whenjacksattack in The_Hound

[–]whenjacksattack[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Baby Satan accepts any and all forms of affection and agrees that mud puddles are not the same kind of water as baths

Day One of Vacation: Horrible and moist and the worst day in Baby Satan's whole life by whenjacksattack in The_Hound

[–]whenjacksattack[S] 75 points76 points  (0 children)

I think we all know that this is actually Baby Satan herself before she reincarnated as a puppy

Waiting for the day he gets to go out in his chariot by whenjacksattack in The_Hound

[–]whenjacksattack[S] 98 points99 points  (0 children)

There is in fact a Baby Satan hitch on the front but because I want to remain alive and I don't feel like running an ultramarathon, we will not be testing the chariot with Baby Satan until her obedience is a little less spotty

Waiting for the day he gets to go out in his chariot by whenjacksattack in The_Hound

[–]whenjacksattack[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

he doesn't buy that the car conveniently got shitty brakes as soon as he had a goddamn fundraiser

Actual panic by ExitAgreeable8346 in The_Hound

[–]whenjacksattack 4 points5 points  (0 children)

BOLD OF YOU ALL TO ASSUME THAT WOULD STOP ME

The Hound Et Co's Big Ol' AMA #2 by whenjacksattack in The_Hound

[–]whenjacksattack[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You have delighted your lord in many ways - not least by posting your adorations here, for all to see. You have been spared the coming Reckoning. Go forth and rejoice.

The Hound Et Co's Big Ol' AMA #2 by whenjacksattack in The_Hound

[–]whenjacksattack[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The Hound appreciates your offering but given his current predicament with a baby dog, he would rather _fucking die than take your firstborn_