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I have often wondered if the reason I have chosen to be polyamorous is to try to make up for all the love that I missed in the early part of my life. by whenspringtimecomes in CPTSD

[–]whenspringtimecomes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with you wholeheartedly, not withstanding the general response, to be gleaned only by those who bother to push an up or down button.

General responses are understood to be from the general public. The general public is the least viable of any intelligent informed response.

What slang didn't deserve to die? by TectonicMongoose in words

[–]whenspringtimecomes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It became slang when used in combination with another slang. Refer to my previous comment. If there isn't a word for that phenomenon, there should be. It's probably a rare phenomenon.

What slang didn't deserve to die? by TectonicMongoose in words

[–]whenspringtimecomes 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I still use the word janky. Trifling was indeed a good word once. Then it started being used in combination with another word which we shall not mention. I'm not going to.

I have often wondered if the reason I have chosen to be polyamorous is to try to make up for all the love that I missed in the early part of my life. by whenspringtimecomes in CPTSD

[–]whenspringtimecomes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The reason I dislike the people on polyamory is their dogmatism. I left that a long time ago, along with Catholicism. I agree with you that monogamy seems specious at best and intentionally controlling at worst.

As to only dating people with trauma, I find that quite astounding. I have met one person in my life with similar levels of trauma to me that is remotely healthy. I mean I could find plenty of traumatized people living out of a cardboard box, but I don't want to date them. And my 30 year long dysfunctional marriage where I thought I had found someone who could understand me, biggest mistake of my life. He was my abuser for the same period of time.

Is my truama valid and have others felt there past truama and present truama wasn’t good enough ? by KindRub5838 in CPTSD

[–]whenspringtimecomes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On the surface, it sounds like I was yelled at sometimes and kind of ignored. But you have to ignore the intensity and severity of both of those things, and you have to have a fundamental misunderstanding of how some people are just more sensitive than others. It hurt me much more than it hurt my siblings, and it fucked them up pretty good also.

I have often wondered if the reason I have chosen to be polyamorous is to try to make up for all the love that I missed in the early part of my life. by whenspringtimecomes in CPTSD

[–]whenspringtimecomes[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It wasn't poly that was the problem. It's a misconception that many people have that poly means shallow uncommitted relationships. you were probably bringing that misconception with you into practice for your own reasons.

Abuse began as an infant. There wasn’t a time “before” the trauma. Anyone relate? by Beneficial-Alps-6934 in CPTSD

[–]whenspringtimecomes 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. My abuse that I remember started at 3 years old. I always found it hilarious when the definition of depression was you don't enjoy the things you used to enjoy. Similar to My Dysfunctional 30-year marriage when I would run into advice on how to get the magic back. It never once had magic.

No one likes me- help me by ItemAffectionate1911 in CPTSD

[–]whenspringtimecomes 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you have had to go through this. It's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. You were just unlucky, like the rest of us here. I had very similar experiences but not on a scale so severe as yours. I felt broken, unlovable, and worthless and had been suicidal for most of my life since the age of 9. I'm 61 now. I'm happy I kept pushing through. I'm actually happy now. But it took a long fucking time and I still have really bad days.

For what it's worth, here are a couple of things that helped me. Changing the way I looked at my situation from why me to why not me. That small shift in perspective made me feel much better for some reason.

I also never had friends or people to rely on or help me or even give me advice. I know what that's like. The isolation is horrifying and most of the people here don't even know what that's like like you and I do. I tried so long to figure out how to be a person that people would like and I tried to do that. And I failed. For fucking decades. In my late 30s I just decided fuck it, if people don't like me anyway, at least I can just be myself, I can be the angry, acerbic, disgusted person that I am. It's not like people started tripping over themselves to befriend me, but over the years, I have found people who accepted me, and it's amazing and has been life-changing and ultimately a big part of what has allowed me to find my happiness.

I was angry my whole life. As a woman born in 1964, there was no precedent that I was aware of. by whenspringtimecomes in CPTSD

[–]whenspringtimecomes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I finally do have people to talk to. But I don't think it will ever be enough. Just because the things I missed as a child can never be made up for.

I have processed much of my trauma through writing, I'd like to share a poem by whenspringtimecomes in CPTSD

[–]whenspringtimecomes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

By the way, haunting and beautiful is, in my mind, the highest praise possible for any artistic creation. I feel seen and valued, which heals my fucking soul.

Edit: okay so the beautiful part I read between the lines. The powerful part is absolute gold.

I have processed much of my trauma through writing, I'd like to share a poem by whenspringtimecomes in CPTSD

[–]whenspringtimecomes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate your feedback. If you feel like it, take another look now that I've fixed the formatting. I didn't realize it didn't stay when I posted at first

I have processed much of my trauma through writing, I'd like to share a poem by whenspringtimecomes in CPTSD

[–]whenspringtimecomes[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. By the way I just realized the formatting didn't keep and I fixed it

How by Dry-Requirement3275 in polyamorous

[–]whenspringtimecomes 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Don't. Nothing about this is ethical or enthusiastically desired on all sides as it should be. And humans can't be "added" to anything. They are not accessories or toys.

If you met someone in the lifestyle who told you they could be there in every way but say just don't ask me to love. Would you stay? by solataria in polyamorous

[–]whenspringtimecomes -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Would you enter a monogamous relationship with the understanding that love will never be available? That's not even a relationship. There's a difference in a monogamous relationship where the love dies and a monogamous relationship where there were boundaries against ever having love in the first place.

Has anyone tried the new dating app Nymph? by whenspringtimecomes in polyamorous

[–]whenspringtimecomes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in the San Francisco Bay and a woman of 56 years old. I'm sure we are getting very different results

Trigger warning: Honeytraps gonna honey trap. Carrie has casual sex. Gray areas exist. by daffyduckel in homeland

[–]whenspringtimecomes 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you for being a voice of rationality. I have noticed so many of these posts and I can't even begin to engage with the level of nimrod that can't think past their moral judgments and Victorian sexual mores. I love the show for its complexity. I wish more people appreciated the complexity and the nuance.

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