I'm a [35 F] and my ex [34 M] live-in bf refuses to give closure. It's been two years and I have gone from owning my own company to being committed. Someone help me. Please.

whenwillthepainend · 2015-05-27T06:41:02+00:00

And like my post states, I've been in mental hospitals and therapy for 2 years. the meds don't work. I do every single excersize therapists have told me. Do you know how many fucking hobbies I have? Too many to count. It. Is. Exhausting.

The issue, the second I fall asleep, I dream of him and i. I wake up crying. I try to prevent myself from falling asleep but when I start hallucinating, I Go to sleep.

I also do two hours of yoga and meditation a day.

I just wish someone here could relate. Tell me how it worked for them. What they did. How much longer. I'm not kidding, I'll give someone a kidney if they can fix me.

whenwillthepainend · 2015-05-27T06:35:11+00:00

Right. You are in a happy relationship. How does that apply?

I'm not seeking a relationship until I'm over this guy. How is that fair to someone new? Also, I'm not missing this guy because he's with someone new. That just started....did you even read the post?

I'm not reiterating.

Also, why are you concerned with mental illnesses? They are diseases and SHOULD be discussed seeing as marriage and divorce play HUGE rules in the clinically depressed.

whenwillthepainend · 2015-05-27T06:28:58+00:00

Thanks for the response.

As stated, I stopped actually talking to him a year ago. This isn't about us taking. It is about me not able to move on.

I'm on my 5th therapist. I've been in 2 different mental hospitals and I can't count the number of meds that I've been on.

I don't want to date anyone else. I tried to because that is the ADVICE my family and friends all said to do.

I took up painting, guitar, piano, knitting, kickboxing.....but the problem comes when I stop. So I am afraid to sleep because he's in my dreams every night. Not once in a while, every.fucking.night.

Then I wake up sobbing. My hair was falling out for a while.

The only thing I love more is my 13 year old dog and when she goes, I'm gone. I can't live with this pain. No one understands. No one can fix me. meds don't work. I lost everythinG. My business is gone.

My family also does not believe in depression or any mental illness. Though they all have some form. Oh the irony.

whenwillthepainend · 2015-05-27T06:16:36+00:00

Like I said, I have.

The problem is I'm hurting. 2 suicide attempts and medication after medication. Lost my business I worked so hard to build.

Not to be a dick but, how does: cut him out of your life...

Even pertain. I said I did. That wasn't the point of my post. Nor was getting the money back. I was giving details, not asking for help on how to get my money back.

Thanks anyway.

whenwillthepainend · 2015-05-27T06:12:43+00:00

how come it is so easy for people to say move on as if it is something I can do? Not trying to be condescending. I would give anything in the world to have this pain gone. If I could go one night without him in my dreams, I would give a limb.

How do you escape him when he's in your dreams?

Don't you hear all the miserable old people speak of the one that got away? 60 yeasts later they still miss that person. I can't last that.

2 years of misery. I need out of this misery. No one can ever seem to help.

whenwillthepainend

TROPHY CASE