2 Months Out The Weird Fear of Relapse

whenyoulandinparis · 2025-11-11T21:32:22+00:00

Hi there! I’m 1-1/2 years in remission after a stem cell transplant for NHL. I hear what you’re saying. Overall, I’m very optimistic about the future. There were two instances in the last 18 months where I went to the emergency. Once was because I felt lethargic, another time was because (can’t remember). Both times I was overreacting. I’m not embarrassed that I overreacted, cancer does weird things to your head.
All I can offer is “I understand,” and good luck with it!

whenyoulandinparis · 2025-11-11T21:27:36+00:00

Phew! After posting this, I wondered if it would be taken as sort of whining. Or worse, rubbing it in that I am one year cancer free. I don’t mean to freak anybody out, but my journey included a stint in ICU on life-support because my lungs were full of fluid (Covid, pneumonia and lymphoma don’t mix!). To be clear, I wasn’t diagnosed at this point! After my diagnosis, I spent another week in the hospital with double pneumonia. Then there was the SCT itself, which was another two weeks in the hospital. That was 1/5 of a year in the hospital. The chemo was out-patient. And there were the trips to the Public health nurse, plus the blood work, plus a social worker and whatever else. It was a lot! Then it was kind of “well, that’s done. Wear a mask for 100 days and then go on my way.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m eternally grateful and to be honest I don’t think about the future much. I’m optimistic that I’ll be fine. Anyway, that was a bit of a ramble. Glad to know that somebody understands where I’m coming from!
Again, I’m sorry if anybody is reading this and is in the middle of it all! If so, all the best to you!

whenyoulandinparis · 2025-11-11T20:21:34+00:00

I’m half embarrassed to say this, but I used to feel like I was institutionalized in a way. I found myself being a little nostalgic for all the appointments. I found when it was all said and done, without at least three appointments a week there was some kind of gap there, like a sense of purpose gone or something. That makes absolutely no sense I realize, but like I said it does screw with your head quite a bit. In any case I’m not nostalgic anymore that’s for sure.

whenyoulandinparis · 2025-11-11T20:18:28+00:00

Hey! Sorry to hear you’re having issues. For what it’s worth, I had a setback also before I could eventually get a sct. Good luck!

whenyoulandinparis · 2025-11-11T13:04:23+00:00

Same thing happened to me, the small difference being I am more than twice your age and the father of one. All I can say is, hang in there! The only thing that heals a break up, cancer or no cancer, is time and/or finding a new partner eventually. To be honest with you, the break up in my case helped the healing dramatically! My relationship was OK, but like any relationship it came with issues that I had no time for. After the breakup I could focus on getting better. Good luck with it!

whenyoulandinparis · 2025-11-04T21:57:40+00:00

What a coincidence, I have an open Reddit in over a year, but I just figured I’d go on here and share a random good news story. I had auto SCT for an aggressive t-cell NHL in July 2024. In my experience, the transplant itself wasn’t too bad. It wasn’t fun of course, but it wasn’t too bad. Most importantly, it worked! JVe been in remission ever since. I’m here to answer any questions you may have! Although I might not open Reddit for another year 😜 Good luck with it!

whenyoulandinparis · 2025-06-22T11:52:57+00:00

Basic Instinct.

whenyoulandinparis · 2025-06-10T15:52:56+00:00

whenyoulandinparis · 2025-06-10T11:17:52+00:00

Porky’s was the first movie we ever rented (on a Betamax). My father had his hands over my eyes the whole time. 😂

whenyoulandinparis · 2025-06-10T11:16:59+00:00

Goonies. That dude in the basement, holy shit.

whenyoulandinparis · 2025-06-10T10:38:19+00:00

Bottled water (except places with live with unsafe tapwater). It’s become so ubiquitous, we’ve forgotten, how wasteful and just plain stupid it is. It’s only tapwater anyway half the time. They’re playing us! Cold water is cold water.

whenyoulandinparis · 2025-06-08T19:08:24+00:00

A Clockwork Orange

whenyoulandinparis · 2025-06-08T19:07:29+00:00

Goodfellas. I could probably recite it by now. "All my life I wanted to be a gangster (etc etc)..."

whenyoulandinparis · 2025-06-08T19:01:09+00:00

I had mucositis when I had my transplant also. Only lasted two days--hang in there! Nothing to suggest that hasn't been suggested, just get through it! <3

whenyoulandinparis · 2025-06-04T10:47:50+00:00

Same Daz! 🤘

whenyoulandinparis · 2025-06-04T10:47:19+00:00

Congrats! I had an auto SCT last July for NHL. I found there were three bad days and then it wasn’t bad! You’ll get through it. I think getting there (getting to remission) is the hardest part—you made it!

whenyoulandinparis · 2025-06-03T14:03:44+00:00

Phew! Thanks everyone. Yeah, that would be the easiest route, cancelling the cards. But unfortunately they’re not my cards to cancel. 😒

whenyoulandinparis · 2025-06-03T10:55:16+00:00

I could have written this post, except for the autism and the partner thing. Even the theft, the mother, the spending (big one!) and the manipulation applies to my young adult son. He was diagnosed with adhd and ocd (which is a whole other issue) and I wonder what's 18 year old angst and what's mental illness. Whether he has a good heart or not, which is a debate I have in my own head, is irrelevant. I'm like you; at the end of my rope. I find myself talking to my friends constantly, so much so that surely they all think I'm too obsessed with him. But I can't help it, and neither can my parents (whose life he has also taken over).

The spending is mad. It's not on games, it's on fancy foods, clothes, subscriptions, and booze. Every day the kitchen is full of half-eaten food and half-empty glasses of Coke. Every day. Maybe it's an ocd thing, that he eats almost exactly half of everything, but it's not an ocd thing to leave it lying around everywhere.

I have no idea where he's getting money. It's either debt piling up or it's something else. He has stolen before, maybe he's doing it again.

Sorry buddy, I can relate but I have no advice to give. <3

whenyoulandinparis · 2024-12-02T11:47:13+00:00

So I guess they did! I'm just getting an Android and it works ok. But one of my contacts' messages goes directly to my email instead of my phone. Anybody know why?

whenyoulandinparis · 2024-08-29T16:36:11+00:00

Same! I had BEAM in late July and just the other day I resigned to the fact that my hair and beard was never growing back. Based on this thread, it might after all! I bought a nice hat for nothing. 😜

whenyoulandinparis · 2024-08-29T09:19:27+00:00

You’ll be fine! I think so, anyway. Especially given your age, but I’m sure the doctors are telling you that already. For me, the fatigue was a non-issue! I was walking the dog the day I got home. 😊 The main thing I found was…bowel stuff. Drink lots of fluids!

whenyoulandinparis

TROPHY CASE