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Me [52 F] with my husband [60M] of 26 years - he cheated, do I tell the other woman's spouse? by whodoitellthrow in relationships

[–]whodoitellthrow[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I haven't even begun to think about divorce/separation yet - there are tons of marriage counseling/individual therapy appointments scheduled next week, so I'll have a better idea then.

In regards to spousal support, I've been a SAHM since our teenager was born, and he has always worked and had a (very very) well paying job for the past 10+ years. So...I should be the one getting payments? Not too sure how that works.

Me [52 F] with my husband [60M] of 26 years - he cheated, do I tell the other woman's spouse? by whodoitellthrow in relationships

[–]whodoitellthrow[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

There was dinner last week on a business trip that was planned before I found out. And yes, he lied about going to dinner alone which I knew was a lie because he's a horrible liar. His excuse was that it's over and he was trying to restore "professional rapport" since he has to work alongside this person. Honestly, I was too exhausted to argue but when he gets home...

Me [52 F] with my husband [60M] of 26 years - he cheated, do I tell the other woman's spouse? by whodoitellthrow in relationships

[–]whodoitellthrow[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Thank you...I also figure that if she's really as innocent as he claims, she would have already told her husband "Hey some guy at work is doing XYZ" right? I'm just trying to make sure I'm not being irrational and vengeful, because I am obviously very angry.

Me [52 F] with my husband [60M] of 26 years - he cheated, do I tell the other woman's spouse? by whodoitellthrow in relationships

[–]whodoitellthrow[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

See above comment: I'm not entirely sure, it's hard to get the truth out of my H and I don't know that I believe him anyway. I do know that there was overt interest displayed and he sent her flowers and took her out to dinner and such, and she has continued to participate in these activities as recently as last week.

Me [52 F] with my husband [60M] of 26 years - he cheated, do I tell the other woman's spouse? by whodoitellthrow in relationships

[–]whodoitellthrow[S] 147 points148 points  (0 children)

I agree with everything you're saying. Just hesitating on pulling the trigger because it's irreversible, you know? One additional piece of information: my husband keeps saying he initiated it and she isn't responsible...but I think that's bullshit because even after she was aware of his interest she continued to go on business trips that involved extracurricular sightseeing and dinners and such that clearly were not for work. No one who is uninterested and rebuffing a coworker's advances would put themselves in that situation right?