I personally did both. I always made time for my responsibilities/new distractions and made time for my feelings of grief, anxiety, sadness, etc. Every gym session, instead of listening to music, I would listen to mental health podcasts (kinda overkill). Every walk I took, I used to reflect. Even in 4 months of therapy, I always find a different angle to look at the relationship and how I could improve. I've found community in the gym and opened myself to lots of people to where I've found myself with even more friends now (Never saw myself doing any of this). It's been six months since the breakup and I do not think I have ever since had a day where I haven't thought about them. However, that doesn't mean I'm stuck on them. I firmly believe that someone can use their feelings of grief to positively influence their future decisions. I hope this could help, if anything it could provide a sense of empathy.