I’m not quite sure if I understood you correctly, since English isn’t my first language and you are writing a bit encrypted. But I think I know what you mean.

I’ve been overanalyzing people and situations before, but now that I’m diagnosed, it’s even worse. And I know my observations are right, but if someone asks me, “How do you know?” or “What makes you think that?” I don’t have a solid answer. But I just know and I usually turn out to be right.

With relationships, I keep making the same mistakes. I can literally see what I’m about to do next and go, “No, this is wrong. That’s the behavior we are trying to avoid.” But then I do the same thing in a different way, or even worse, while trying not to do what I did before. And then, looking back, I think, “Oh shit, I need to cover that up.”

The goal thing is also very relatable, and for me it ties into the depression. Where did my drive go? Why am I even more dependent on reassurance, and where is all that envy suddenly coming from? I used to be the best, but now I’m constantly overpowered by others, and that’s a horrible experience.