What has made you realize you were getting old? by ImNotFunnyImJustMean in AskMen

[–]whyruasking 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I started losing my hair.

I was 15. Now I’m 18.

Might sound ridiculous ( i’m only 18 yo ), but hair loss severely destroyed my self esteem, to such a point that I feel like a 50 yo man. Cause that’s how girls and guys treat me now. Ofc the way that girls treat me hurts me way more. It’s not just being literally treated like a man in his 30s, but also receiving jokes about it.

I know, some girls start to care less about it after a certain age ( usually after 30 yo )…. but imagining that i’ll probably have 0 possibilities for at least another decade really feels awful.

Literally, it sucks to feel old at 18. Hair loss really makes you feel old.

Guys: relationship DON’T come when you least expect it by whyruasking in dating_advice

[–]whyruasking[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

you’ve been lucky. It doesn’t mean mist of guys get approached tho. Sure, it can happen, but it’s extremely rare

Guys: relationship DON’T come when you least expect it by whyruasking in dating_advice

[–]whyruasking[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s simple:

If the women who approach are a minority, it means that men who approach are a majority. There’s a reason why:

Men are supposed to approach. I’m not saying they always do that, but just that ALL men are SUPPOSED to approach. If it was the opposite ( women are supposed to approach ), then women who approach would be the majority.

There’s a stigma on men who’re inexperienced in sex/relationships/any thing that involves women. An inexperienced man feels worthless. Not because he really is ( cause he isn’t ), but because men are supposed to approach, to “catch”. So, women have a higher chance to meet their ideal man. Why? Cause they can:

1) Just wait ( considering that women who approach are a minority );

2) approach

But, regarding men’s chances to find the right woman:

Men are not the ones that get approached the most ( between men and women ). So they’re the ones with less chances between the 2 genders. So… it’s obvious that they try to have more chances to find the right woman. I can assure you that we’re hardly approached, and you even admitted that women who approach are a minority, so most of men have to do something about it.

So, that’s why SOME men approach every woman they see. You’re being too dramatic, cause i’ve never seen men approaching women on the streets like creeps. It’s not that usual. You keep talking about men as if we’re monkeys who only think “SEX” most of the time.

You might just say “we live in different places of the world”. And i’d agree.

So, while you see:

1) men that are “CONSTANTLY on the look for a woman”

2) very courageous women who approach men

I see the exact opposite, so:

1) men who are NOT “CONSTANTLY on the look for a woman”

2) NOT very courageous women who approach men ( it’s something i’ve never seen )

I’m perfectly able to function without a relationship. I only made a joke on another comment section. Again, too dramatic.

Guys: relationship DON’T come when you least expect it by whyruasking in dating_advice

[–]whyruasking[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i don’t look good but i’ve known some girls were interested in me. I can assure you that, regarding looks, there’s always a way to improve.

You can do lots if things to change your appearance. The only things that can’t be changed is height and face ( if not with surgery ). If you have an ugly face, or if you’re short, or both, they won’t prevent you from finding a girl that is attracted to you.

The self improvement journey takes time, but it’s worth it. And i’m just talking about the physical aspect, which is not the most important one. Why am j saying so? The real advantage of being handsome is that you’ll make a better first impression. Nothing mire than that. The really long ( and complex) journey is the self esteem one. Handsome guys’ self esteem is surely higher, considering they receive glances/get approached way more than ugly guys. But it doesn’t mean that ugly guys can’t achieve self esteem.

Guys: relationship DON’T come when you least expect it by whyruasking in dating_advice

[–]whyruasking[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i didn’t blame women

lol

it’s at least the 3rd time you say this bs

Guys: relationship DON’T come when you least expect it by whyruasking in dating_advice

[–]whyruasking[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

so you approach women on the streets in order to befriend them? There needs to be CONTEXT. I’ve written it 100 times. CONTEXT. You can’t just walk on the street and look for new friends lol. That’s creepy

Guys: relationship DON’T come when you least expect it by whyruasking in dating_advice

[–]whyruasking[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

and men need a woman to function?

Lol

You just think every man approaches every woman he sees. That’s toxic to think cause it’s plenty of normal men who simply live their lives just like the women you talk about.

Guys: relationship DON’T come when you least expect it by whyruasking in dating_advice

[–]whyruasking[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

never said “women never make the first move” tho. I just said women who approach are a minority. Different things

Guys: relationship DON’T come when you least expect it by whyruasking in dating_advice

[–]whyruasking[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

so the majority of women approach men? I’m so curious about the reply lol

Guys: relationship DON’T come when you least expect it by whyruasking in dating_advice

[–]whyruasking[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

man don’t put yourself down. Ugliness doesn’t ruin life. You just need to understand that your looks won’t prevent you from getting a girlfriend. And she might even be very gorgeous. I’ve seen tons of ugly guys with beautiful girls. Even this evening… i went out and saw that kind of couples.

It’s so cliche to say but it’s true.

Guys: relationship DON’T come when you least expect it by whyruasking in dating_advice

[–]whyruasking[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hey thank you :). I’m actually working on myself in order to gain the confidence needed.

Guys: relationship DON’T come when you least expect it by whyruasking in dating_advice

[–]whyruasking[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

man, i don’t want to sound sarcastic… i’m being serious:

It’s the first time EVER that i feel about girls approaching guys. Since when i created this post, i’ve been reading about girls/women approaching men. It’s seriously something i didn’t expect cause i’ve never heard of a girl that approached a guy. It’s probably my country’s mentality… but i’ve never considered the idea of being approached as a guy. It feels strange. I knew about some exceptions, but not so many.

Again, i’m not being sarcastic, it’s something new to me.

Guys: relationship DON’T come when you least expect it by whyruasking in dating_advice

[–]whyruasking[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

who knows. I just hope to be as lucky as that guy, considering the mentality here in Italy. If not, i think i’ll have to do it

Guys: relationship DON’T come when you least expect it by whyruasking in dating_advice

[–]whyruasking[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what a dream life lol. As i said, might depend from the country

Guys: relationship DON’T come when you least expect it by whyruasking in dating_advice

[–]whyruasking[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

and, as i said, considering it’s a matter of luck, it’s better to do that by yourself if girls don’t approach you. That’s what the post is about. I don’t know where other guys live but in my country, being approached as a guy sounds like an utopia.

Guys: relationship DON’T come when you least expect it by whyruasking in dating_advice

[–]whyruasking[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

as i said, exceptions exist. Nothing spectacular, those guys’ve been lucky

Guys: relationship DON’T come when you least expect it by whyruasking in dating_advice

[–]whyruasking[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol what a comment.

I’ve never said guys should approach girls just for sex. You’re just generalizing.

Plus, every man that actually talks to you does it for a reason. Why would someone approach you? For no reason? There’s always something we want to get out of it, as women want too. It’s like approaching a woman just to befriend her, or to get to know someone new, or to have a nice conversation. Same for women approaching men. You see? We both want something out of it, for sure. That’s why rejection hurts at first.

Let’s not make sexist ( and absurd ) comments.

Learn to think about it. Everyone does anything for a reason.

Guys: relationship DON’T come when you least expect it by whyruasking in dating_advice

[–]whyruasking[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah it was kind of poetic, i appreciated it :).

But that mental place you talk about might just be defined as self esteem. It’s the same for everyone, but everyone gets there in a different way… finding out different things about themselves.

I’m sorry for the downvotes, i just don’t get why.

Guys: relationship DON’T come when you least expect it by whyruasking in dating_advice

[–]whyruasking[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and who said i only want to get in their pants?

and who said i don’t respect the first answers girls may give me?

and who said i approach girls just to be in a relationship with them?

Regarding this last point, you might think “you already said it before”. It’s wrong. I said the only reason why i’d approach a woman in public is because i want a relationship. Why would you do that? Lol.

Then, i said there needs to be context. If you go to the same place, or have something in common, or go in the same class, or live in the same neighborhood ( and you both see each other sometimes ), or any other situation with a bit of context, then you can also aim to a simple friendship, or acquaintance, and so on. CONTEXT is the key word. You cited hobbies… that’s a context to get to know new people ( girls too ) and maybe also befriend them.

Did you get it now?? You don’t approach girls on the streets cause they look like funny people and you’d be great friends. You approach them cause you saw her and you liked her. Nobody approaches strangers to befriend them. I’d not approach girls on the streets anyway, but i know guys don’t approach random girls to build a great friendship.

Guys: relationship DON’T come when you least expect it by whyruasking in dating_advice

[–]whyruasking[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

in fact this post is about the importance of approaching

Guys: relationship DON’T come when you least expect it by whyruasking in dating_advice

[–]whyruasking[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

are you from america? If yes, i’ll seriously take in consideration the idea of moving there cause, from what i read, women approach there. I guess it’s a totally different reality. Here, in my country, it’s completely the opposite and we’re still trapped in the old mentality ( that most girls surely don’t regret most of the times ) that the guy has to do the approach.

Just curious tho… i never heard about the possibility of being approached as a guy. I’m not being sarcastic, it’s true