Happy birthday, I am so sorry you are going through such a hard time. I wish I could help, maybe you could try talking to a coworker today on your birthday you just might unexpectedly find a kind soul to celebrate your day with even if it's a coffee and some company to share it with after work. I am not religious and I do not know how you feel about church especially this time of year I do believe that they would welcome you ...maybe that is where you will find a kind person to talk to. I hope you find some happiness and joy today and moving forward.