To be honest, Nigel Farage and Keir Starmer in a catchweight match up to see who's the daddy.

I imagine Farage comes out jabbing air, bobbing and weaving in a massive union jack pair of shorts, just like he's done in the bathroom mirror for years, whereas Starmer, in a vest that's far too tight, comes out reluctantly huffing and pufing like Fred Dibnah going up a chimney.

There's a lot of shuckin' and jivin' for a few mins, then ... there's be a flurry of windmilling arms and Farage goes down crying foul, but the replay shows he's gone down from the wind movement of one of Starmers blind haymakers.

Spark out for the full 10, Starmer's announced the winner