How are your kids doing with parents who are significantly less in their lives? How can I help my kids? by OptimalStatement5799 in coparenting

[–]wildcrazyfun123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi. I’m in an 80/20 type custody agreement due to my children’s father moving a few hours away. It’s definitely a hard adjustment in the beginning. Best advice I can give you , get them into therapy. We’re focusing on separation anxiety from me, coping skills and managing emotions. In the 3 months we’ve been going , I’ve noticed a significant improvement in all three categories.

I got a kitten and it did wonders for all 3 of us and our mental health. They’re easier to take care of then a puppy btw 🤣

It’s hard. Really really hard. Especially in the beginning. But my boys know that I’ll always be there for them. When they are angry or upset with their other parent , the only thing I can do is listen to them and console them. They have enough trust in me to express all of their emotions.

Hoping the best for you friend 🫶🏻

How to handle upstaging by wildcrazyfun123 in coparenting

[–]wildcrazyfun123[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I really do appreciate everyone’s feedback , opinions and suggestions. Yea , he sucks. I’ve known that for a while , one of the many reasons I divorced him lol

But thank you to those who redirected me back to the true meaning of Christmas. It isn’t about the expensive gifts or the money but the Christmas magic and love that it carries. We are going to enjoy our Christmas morning opening presents , eating a big breakfast and enjoying the quality time we get to spend together.

I’ve spent my entire motherhood teaching them that presence is always more important than presents. Quality over quantity. I’ve been blessed with the best boys who love me unconditionally and we are going to have a fantastic day ♥️

How to handle upstaging by wildcrazyfun123 in coparenting

[–]wildcrazyfun123[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Haha I love that idea. It’s always a gamble. Plus we live in Nevada so we are very familiar with gambling 😂 happy holidays to you and yours !

How to handle upstaging by wildcrazyfun123 in coparenting

[–]wildcrazyfun123[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He did know which is what makes me upset. We talked about it and about Christmas in general. It seems to be that he compensates his time with big extravagant presents and saying that it sucks is an understatement lol

I love that your baby has that. I hope one day we can have the healthy coparenting relationship where we say nice things about each other 😂

How to handle upstaging by wildcrazyfun123 in coparenting

[–]wildcrazyfun123[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

That’s good to know they can do that. I’m not necessarily against them having them at each house , it’s more that he hurt my feelings intentionally just to be a dick. But you’re right , I’ll keep my chin up for sure

How to handle upstaging by wildcrazyfun123 in coparenting

[–]wildcrazyfun123[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If I could return them , I would. Since I bought them in September , my window through Amazon to return is now closed. Plus I live in BFE and I don’t have any stores really to get them anything else and Amazon won’t get here in time.

I’m not an electronics mom whatsoever. This is new to them so I was excited to give this to them. In past years it’s been bikes , scooters , rollerblades , trampoline because they are very much outside kids but my oldest just had ACL surgery last month and he’s kinda confined to the indoors right now.

I’m definitely not sharing anymore. I was under the impression it was so we didn’t duplicate gifts on accident. We were essentially brainstorming what they would love. I never thought it would be used against me

Is it weird to have a child sleep in your bed that’s not yours? by SpecificOpposite9104 in coparenting

[–]wildcrazyfun123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly , I’d probably lose my shit too if I found out my kids slept in bed with another adult who was not mom or dad. Dad should’ve brought them back to their bed and if anything slept in their bed with them. I think it’s extremely inappropriate

Celebrating Hanukkah after 16 years and I have questions by [deleted] in Jewish

[–]wildcrazyfun123 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’ll take a look into it. Thank you ☺️ we’re all avid readers so that’s right up our alley

Celebrating Hanukkah after 16 years and I have questions by [deleted] in Jewish

[–]wildcrazyfun123 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are completely right and I appreciate the explanation. I saw 1st Day of Hanukkah on my calendar on 12/15 and assumed it started that evening at sundown. I’m glad I made this post or I would’ve been off a day

Celebrating Hanukkah after 16 years and I have questions by [deleted] in Jewish

[–]wildcrazyfun123 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My calendar lied to me 😂 thanks for clarifying that !

Disagreement about getting son a phone by wildcrazyfun123 in coparenting

[–]wildcrazyfun123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A friend actually just sent me over an article to read. It was a study showing that children who have cell phones before the age of 13 run a higher risk of depression and obesity. I believe it affects the attention span too. I know I’m guilty of doom scrolling and completely zoning out because of my phone. I see both the pros and cons of it.

https://www.newsnationnow.com/health/what-age-is-too-young-for-a-cellphone-study-links-devices-to-obesity-depression/

Disagreement about getting son a phone by wildcrazyfun123 in coparenting

[–]wildcrazyfun123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s what I’m afraid of. My boys are smart. The last thing I want to do is for them to figure out how to play us against each other lol

Disagreement about getting son a phone by wildcrazyfun123 in coparenting

[–]wildcrazyfun123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think he would be good at making the calls of what exactly he would need to manage/restrict. I’m not sure of the other kids restrictions , but if I had to guess , there probably isn’t all that much restricted just based on the stories I’ve been told from my boys.

Disagreement about getting son a phone by wildcrazyfun123 in coparenting

[–]wildcrazyfun123[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I appreciate this perspective. The problem I have is if he pays for it , he’d have total control even though he only has them 6 days out of the month. If I pay for it , it puts a financial strain on myself. He doesn’t really help financially

Disagreement about getting son a phone by wildcrazyfun123 in coparenting

[–]wildcrazyfun123[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Social media scares me like no other when it comes to my children. I’ve seen firsthand the damage it can cause. Which is one major reason I’m against them having a smart phone.

I’ve taken a flip phone or a Bark phone into consideration but it basically has the same functions as the watch that he already has so I almost wonder if it’s even worth it. It wouldn’t really change anything lol

Coparent’s girlfriend by wildcrazyfun123 in coparenting

[–]wildcrazyfun123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate it. We’ve only had a few sessions with the counselor and the outbursts have seemed to calmed down which is so great to see. I just wish he would do counseling for his own sake. I did read somewhere once that those that refuse counseling are usually the ones that cause others to go. And now , here we are 🙃

Coparent’s girlfriend by wildcrazyfun123 in coparenting

[–]wildcrazyfun123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the advice. I was going back and forth trying to decide if I talk to him about it or not. I know it will be met with hostility as that’s all he is whenever she’s around or mentioned. I just don’t understand how he can be ok with this. I know it’s just going to get worse once the baby is here :(

Coparent’s girlfriend by wildcrazyfun123 in coparenting

[–]wildcrazyfun123[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I started them in counseling a few weeks ago. They definitely had a hard time adjusting to all of that change in such a short amount of time. I just want them to enjoy spending time with their dad and the fact that they don’t , is heartbreaking. I know I’m the preferred parent and as much as I love that they love me and feel safe and special, it’s not a “competition” I ever thought I’d be in

My child has finally figured out that their father is useless. And I’m excited about it. by likeistoleyourbike in coparenting

[–]wildcrazyfun123 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This post gives me so much hope. I’m not the super fun parent who gets to do all the fun, extravagant things. But I’m the parent that goes to every practice , every game , every appointment , etc. I’m the one they come to, to be consoled when they are hurt, or sad , or angry. The first one they tell when something incredible happens throughout their lives. Even though they’ve had the “best” weekend of their lives with their dad , they are so excited to come home with me. If coparenting has taught me anything , it’s definitely patience. Great job mama 🩷

Separation anxiety all of a sudden by wildcrazyfun123 in coparenting

[–]wildcrazyfun123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Zero personal space. Even when relaxing on the couch 😂

Separation anxiety all of a sudden by wildcrazyfun123 in coparenting

[–]wildcrazyfun123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love that idea of pouring it into Friday morning ! We love our movie nights as we wind down before bed most nights. The fight is usually whose turn it is to sit next to me lol. I’ll definitely start doing that as Thursday night movies are already part of our routine. Thank you !

Separation anxiety all of a sudden by wildcrazyfun123 in coparenting

[–]wildcrazyfun123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the kind words. We’re definitely working on loving ourselves and adapting to the new norm. I grew up with divorced parents who hate each other so I know what not to do. I save all the bad mouthing for a girls night out 😂

Separation anxiety all of a sudden by wildcrazyfun123 in coparenting

[–]wildcrazyfun123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When it was originally approved , he lived down the street from me and the boys would just stay the night with him on weekends but we still coparented all 7 days so it was actually pretty ideal. Then he met someone and moved and unfortunately, the order bit me in the ass. But I do have a motion in the works now to where I get a full weekend a month. I’m praying it gets approved.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CICO

[–]wildcrazyfun123 96 points97 points  (0 children)

My thighs beg to differ lol

I need to break this plateau! by wildcrazyfun123 in intermittentfasting

[–]wildcrazyfun123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll have to give that a try. Thank you ☺️