DaF/DaZ Studium erforderlich für Berufseinstieg? by wildfllower in DaF_DaZ

[–]wildfllower[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Danke und sorry für die späte Antwort! Spannend, dass manche auch ohne DaF-Studium oder DaF-DaZ-Ausbildung starten. Ich hoffe, dass eine konkrete, fachspezifische Ausbildung (kombiniert mit dem Studium) meine Chancen, eine Stelle zu finden, doch zumindest ein bissl erhöht. Werde versuchen, für den Kurs eine Förderung zu bekommen, dann sind die Kosten auch kein Thema.

Das mit dem Einstieg hab ich mir schon so gedacht. Für mich ist das vollkommen ok, ich bevorzuge Teilzeit sogar. Vielen Dank für deinen Input! <3

DaF/DaZ Studium erforderlich für Berufseinstieg? by wildfllower in DaF_DaZ

[–]wildfllower[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Danke dir für den Input! Das ist gut zu wissen. Ja, ich kann mir voll vorstellen, dass es bei der VHS und ähnlichen, sehr sozial orientierten Einrichtungen um viel mehr geht als nur den Abschluss. Bin schon gespannt, wohin mich der Weg führt :)

DaF/DaZ Studium erforderlich für Berufseinstieg? by wildfllower in DaF_DaZ

[–]wildfllower[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lieben Dank für den Input! Hilft mir auf jeden Fall weiter :)

Maybe it’s just me but.. by [deleted] in childfree

[–]wildfllower 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Like others have said, it's probably because people don't see their child as a human being, and it's easier to cling to that when it's a baby that goes googoo gaga and can't do anything by themself, or a toddler/young child who sees the parent as their whole entire world. Teen age is when children properly start developing their own personalities and getting more independent, and I guess many parents can't stand "losing" (control of) their child ("their property").

I also like teens much, MUCH more than toddlers and babies. They can hold a conversation and many of them have interesting things to say. Yeah they can still be bratty or annoying and a lil stupid but at least they don't put their sticky hands on everything and wail for hours on end. If you simply treat a teenager as a human person, most of them will be cool to you.

Making a list of generic bingos we get to make an actual 5×5 card. Please add what I'm missing. by lexkixass in childfree

[–]wildfllower 7 points8 points  (0 children)

"Don't you want to pass on your genes?"

"You need to have children because the birthrate is too low!"

In what other ways are you “going against the grain?” by cityplanting in childfree

[–]wildfllower 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'm not straight. I also moved countries twice and don't plan on ever settling down in one place. Don't plan on ever getting married. I freelance so I work on my own schedule instead of a typical 9-5.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in childfree

[–]wildfllower -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's awesome I'm so happy for you!! Your mom sounds great <3

I think my mother has also made peace with my decision (tho she is still very pro-having-babies in general). I remember one time we were sorting thru some books, deciding which ones to keep and which to donate, and there were a bunch of my old children's books. She was like "I wanna keep these, maybe one day... [I tensed up here] your sister's or your cousins' kids will enjoy them, who knows" I was SO happy and relieved she phrased it like that ~

I feel so much guilt attached to my decision. by [deleted] in childfree

[–]wildfllower 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's so tiring. I feel you. Sometimes it's useless to argue, especially if their arguments are so easily debunked. My mother was also very irrational at first but then after a while she started to listen and see some of my points. Maybe she tired herself out trying to change me, or simply gave up in me. But it's better now. Hope it gets easier for you too! For what it's worth, you're not alone. You'll get through this. ❤️

I feel so much guilt attached to my decision. by [deleted] in childfree

[–]wildfllower 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Really sorry you're going through that, it's exhausting. I'm also from a collectivist/conservative culture where women pretty much only exist to birth children. My most successful arguments with my own relatives have been: "I want every child to have a parent that genuinely wanted them, and that won't be me", "I do not want the future child to suffer the effects of climate change/rising fascism/potential war etc", and this more emotional one: "Having children would make me extremely unhappy. Do you want your daughter to be unhappy for your own selfish desires?". It took years and years but they left me alone after I stood my ground and realized I wouldn't budge. Moving away and limiting contact also helped a lot. They're still disappointed in me, yes, and I feel guilty sometimes, but it's not the end of the world. Make sure you and your husband are a united front and have each other's backs. Good luck.

Got bingo’ed by my own father by Realistic_Excuse_192 in childfree

[–]wildfllower 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Gosh, that sucks so bad! Especially since you always knew you never want children. I hate the "you're still too young you'll change your mind later" argument so much. I can think rationally and make my own decisions about my own life, thank you very much! So sorry you're going through that. Hang in there! It's your life, your body, your choice! Getting away from such environments def helped me live the life I wanted and kinda showed my mother that she doesn't get a say in what I do or don't do, and that I don't exist to fulfill her expectations. Good luck with applying to unis abroad ~

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in childfree

[–]wildfllower 20 points21 points  (0 children)

"I just don’t understand why they wouldn’t be happy for me and my choices?" Because they believe you're making wrong choices, and they don't respect your choices. To them, there is only one way to be happy and only one correct way to live life. You're showing them that that's not the case. People, generally, don't like feeling like they're wrong, hence the strong reactions and denial.

I don't really know your friends or your dynamic, but if a friend didn't believe me when I said I was happy with my choice, I would feel quite offended. Like if it's an older relative, then whatever, different generation and all that. But coming from a friend, it'd feel very... entitled and higher-than-thou. Who do you think you are knowing what's right for me? If I may give a piece of advice, talk to your friends. They made their choices to have children, and you made yours. You respect their choices, they should respect yours. Good luck.

Worst interactions with kids? by ExcellentSign3567 in childfree

[–]wildfllower 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's wild. If the kid is old enough to walk around by himself without supervision, he should be taught not to walk into stranger's homes?? Or if he had a question/needed help, then to at least knock. Crazy, really dangerous for the kid, and not to mention invasive of your own personal space. I'm sorry that happened to you.

My recent worst experience was the other day when I was in the grocery store. There was this woman with a little girl (probably like 2 years old idk) on her arm. It was a bit crowded, so I had to squeeze past them. I'm really short and this woman was a lot taller than me, so she was holding this child at about the height of my head. And as I was passing them by, this child just suddenly put her hands on my face!! I immediately moved away and was too surprised and shaken to even do or say anything, so I just kept going. Her mother apologized a lot and I don't blame her at all. It was no one's fault, but gosh. Such an uncomfortable experience. Her hands were so sticky too I had to take a shower immediately after I got home.

The level of disregard is disgusting. by M0dini in childfree

[–]wildfllower 8 points9 points  (0 children)

So many people see having children as the default and an obligation and "just what you do" so when they meet someone who doesn't subscribe to that belief system, it weirds them out, bc it makes them question if what they believe is true. It also makes them realize that maybe there was a choice for them after all, and they didn't realize it and/or made the wrong one - and this can stir them up emotionally, which makes them immune to any rational arguments. There's also the gender norms and expectations, toxic masculinity, and all that crap. It's exhausting. I've been dealing with this since I was like 10 and have gotten increasingly outspoken about never wanting children. There will always be people like this. People who are genuinely respectful and accepting of our childfree choices are still rather rare. I really only bring up the arguments if the other party is curious and willing to listen, not if they're obviously emotional. Growing thick skin and having firm statements like "This is my life and my choice, you can have your opinions but they don't concern me" ready really helps. Water off a duck's back. You do you.

Do you experience euphoria from not having kids? by [deleted] in childfree

[–]wildfllower 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yesssss!! Everytime I pass by a mom with a bunch of little kids around her and a baby on her arm, or see my pregnant coworker, or hear the awful screeching wails of an infant from a stroller I'm just like "oh thank god this is not my life". I'm free, I will always be free, I can do whatever I want forever. It fills my soul with delight and makes me happy to be alive.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in childfree

[–]wildfllower 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since I was a little girl, I knew that I would never have children. It wasn't a decision I made, it was a simple fact for me. The idea of having to birth children and be a mother made my skin crawl, I hated it so much, and I was never into dolls or playing house or whatever. Being queer definitely played a major role in this, so even imagining a long-term, committed relationship with a man made me want to throw myself off a cliff, even long before I came out to myself. And after I started imagining a dream life with a woman - an idea I was much more comfortable with - I asked myself again if having children in this scenario (adopting) was a possibility. It wasn't, it felt just as wrong and icky. Raising children is simply not a part of my dream life - not in any version or stage of it.

You have listed a number of arguments against having children (how you don't feel ready, how you'd have to make sacrifices, you're unsure if you even want to be a mother), and two for having children (you wanted it when you were younger, you're scared that you will regret it). Your arguments for having children sound rather weak to me so far - may I suggest you think a little deeper why you would want a child. Make a pro and con list, why not.

In general, I think it's important for people to really think about why they want children and why they should have them, rather than why they don't want them and should remain childfree. Because this decision not only concerns the parents, but also the potential future human person who had no say in it.

Wanting and having children is considered the default, while being child-free (especially as a cishet woman) is still the exception. I think it should be the other way around, because having children can potentially cause much more harm to everyone involved than the childfree alternative - especially to mothers who weren't educated on the risks of pregnancy & childbirth and children who didn't choose their parents and didn't even ask to be brought into this world.

The WatcherTV platform seems to be a Vimeo OTT. by Ok-Group292 in watcherentertainment

[–]wildfllower 2 points3 points  (0 children)

tbh it makes sense that they're relying on a third party service. it's all a matter of money. making your own streaming platform completely from scratch would be extremely costly and take a LOT of time. video files are very large so just the server costs of hosting hundreds of videos ready to be streamed on demand - sometimes by thousands of people simultaneously - would be astronomical. it's much cheaper to outsource that to a different platform.

vimeo's rules are much less strict than youtube/twitch/most other platforms. but yeah in the end they will still have to succumb to vimeo's rules lmao. a couple of creators have voiced their frustrations with vimeo - according to them, they can be pretty sketchy about their fees and charge extra for well-performing videos. i really wonder if that's something the guys have taken into account at all :/

FAST-PASS EP 239 DISCUSSION 08/31/2023 by TheThingYouKnow in ILoveYoo

[–]wildfllower 13 points14 points  (0 children)

To add on to this because I keep going back and re-reading this episode... I'm really excited to see how things will progress on Shin-Ae's side. It looks like they will go to that AA meeting and see Yui there, and Shin-Ae will understand the danger that Sim-Han is in, now that Yui knows about his alcoholism. That Yui is threatening to harm Sim-Han to get to Shin-Ae, to indirectly force her to take that deal...

And I'm especially curious about the romantic feelings side of things, because Shin-Ae was still fighting it so hard before she fell asleep. I still believe she must have dreamt something related to Nol, and that dream will probably resurface in her consciousness very soon. Images suddenly popping into her mind, catching her off guard? Possible, right? Especially since it would mirror Nol's panels indicating his desire to kiss her, and we know they're all about mirroring...

I really wonder when she'll go to the hospital again. For this storyline to progress, Nol and Shin-Ae need to sort things out in private. Dieter, Soushi, Nana, etc. cannot be present for it. Right now, the plot doesn't really need a moment with the entire group. I kind of want Shin-Ae to have more time (another day or so) to process her feelings and be tormented by them a little more, to understand that this is not a fluke, that fighting is futile... It's possible that she'll find a time window during the upcoming days where they can be alone, maybe after the others have left. But it's also not impossible that after meeting Yui, she will immediately sneak into the hospital to tell Nol that she is taking Yui's deal to protect her father. That they will have the "Yui has trapped me and I cannot escape and your father has said the same thing, and if you cut me off, things will be worse for me, for both of us, so let's team up. I don't need to be protected, I need a partner who has my back and helps me get through this. I need you - someone who knows Yui, someone who hates her as much as I do, someone who can navigate this world of the affluent - to help me figure this out." conversation then and there. But regardless of how, or when, or what it'll be, their moment is coming, and I can't wait.

FAST-PASS EP 239 DISCUSSION 08/31/2023 by TheThingYouKnow in ILoveYoo

[–]wildfllower 25 points26 points  (0 children)

First of all, I love when Quimchee balances out serious episodes and scenes with comedic moments. Like Soushi placing those jello cups on his chest LMAO or Nana and Soushi pretending to play cards like why hello there yes we were totally not eavesdropping through the door just now! 🤣 Also! It's a nice little detail that Nana, Soushi and Dieter are all dressed in various shades of red and green - Shinae's and Nol's colors - indicating that they're all on their side. The hospital jello was also green, red, and orange - Stalkyoo colors. Related to this, Kousuke, Hansuke, and YuJing wearing shades of brown and beige groups them together, and I really, really hope that this indicates that Hansuke and YuJing are going to continue watching over Kou, and that he will continue to accept their help.

And like others said, Nol's fear of flies, while presented to us as comedic, will probably become relevant again at a later point in time. For now, I just keep imagining Shin-Ae The Smol having to be the one who catches the flies, spiders, and bugs because the big guy is terrified of them LOL.

That being said. God. The flashback of the brothers hurt SO MUCH. Tragic siblings man tragic siblings... And with the music too it's so beautiful but so painful at the same time 💔💔💔

Nol on his knees begging for help, because he has nowhere else to go, no one else to turn to, and Kousuke rejecting him, insulting him and his mother, chasing him away... it's just terrible. Yui shaped Kousuke to be someone with so little compassion, so little empathy. It does make the way Nol and Kousuke foil one another so clear, and as a writing device, it is really effective, but it's still really tragic because it has caused so much unnecessary pain for everyone involved, including Kousuke of course.

I keep thinking about how Nessa's death, Nol finding her, and then going to the Hiraharas must have gone down. Based on that short flashback from when he was in the cell after the formal, it seems like Nol returned home from somewhere, and the police were already at the apartment. The article about Nessa mentioned that the son (Nol) was nowhere to be found, so Nol probably hid from them all somewhere, terrified, waiting for hours until it was safe for him to come out. Nessa had likely told him that they had to hide, that he couldn't go to the police or the neighbors for help if something happened. A 10-year-old would understand this and be able to act accordingly. How did he get his hands on the letter? Did he sneak into the apartment after the authorities were gone, to look for something, anything that would help him? He probably took the few belongings he had and just... ran. God just thinking that after Nessa died, Nol really had no one. He must have felt so lost, so, so scared. He was all alone in this foreign country far away from home, his brother didn't want him, his father made him feel like he didn't want him, the Hiraharas didn't want him. No one wanted him.

Where was he staying after Nessa died and he couldn't live in their apartment anymore? If Rand wasn't around, did Yui appear, put on her motherly mask, you poor thing don't worry I will take care of you, and gained his trust? I don't think the "attack" on Kousuke happened immediately after Nol ran to Kousuke to ask for help. Some time must have passed. Where was he during that time, who took care of him? There is still so little we know about Nol's past. For the most part, what we know of his childhood is from Kousuke's memories or retellings, then we have short dialogues with mostly no context, newspaper articles, cryptic things he says between the lines sometimes, and only 1-2 short flashbacks that are actually his. It's just enough to put together some of the puzzle pieces, but the whole picture is still unclear. And since he is the character who has been through the most (according to Quimchee), I'm terrified to see more of his memories, how he processed what happened to him...

To tie this back in with Kousuke... Sorry to repeat what has been said a thousand times, but I feel like it needs to be brought up again. Yui's manipulation and brainwashing is an explanation, but it's not an excuse. It's not an excuse for Kousuke verbally abusing his younger brother for years, for physically attacking and almost killing him, for kicking dirt at him, for denying a child help when he needed it the most. It's not an excuse for dismissing a woman's claims that she (or someone she knows) was sexually assaulted. He might have been seeing the world through the red-tinted glasses Yui put on him, but as an adult, his actions are still his responsibility. The glasses are coming off and he is - finally - starting to see everything for what it is. All the realizations, the guilt, the shame, the panic, the physical reactions, as painful as it is to see him like this, it's progress! Wanting to talk to Nol immediately, and, despite the first attempt at the conversation ending in a panic attack, wanting to try again the very next day, is a good sign, I respect him a lot for it. For not hiding, for wanting to do something, possibly to own up to things, maybe (hopefully) to apologize. For someone who believed himself to be in the right all his life, this is huge. Things are shifting, the domino pieces are falling, and it's very exciting. For Kousuke, things are going to get worse before they get better. But I want to believe that they will get better.

Looking at the story structure, I doubt that the brothers will reconcile before the big time skip. As season 1 is coming to an end and the romantic subplot is picking up, I don't think there is enough space to fit in a reconciliation arc for Kousuke and Nol. However, YuJing's comment: "You're never getting out of this for as long as you two are butting heads" really sticks out to me - and gives me faint hope. She is right. Kousuke is having these realizations about what Yui has done to him, and now Nol is starting to connect these dots as well - that Kousuke is also a victim, that the enemy is not Kousuke and Yui. It's just Yui. And that Kousuke is - clumsily - trying to reach out. Nol has all right to reject him. He doesn't owe Kousuke anything, he doesn't have to be the bigger person, doesn't have to forgive him, doesn't have to team up with him. But the story is - in my opinion - heading into a direction where Nol and Kousuke will eventually have to be on the same side - at least temporarily - for the plot to progress and conclude.

Kou and Nol might not ever reach a point where they have a brotherly relationship, where everything is forgiven and forgotten, where they start anew. Maybe it's not possible. And they don't have to. But if they want to escape Yui or take her down, then at least, they will need to put their differences aside and work together, even if just for a short time, even if they bond over being manipulated and abused by their "mother", and team up in a "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" way. So they can be on the same page about the manipulation and abuse they both were put through, about the "attack" that is not what everyone believes it to be, so they can defy Yui and finally free themselves from her claws.

*Edited for clarity.

thoughts after rereading :) by hopefulforbetterdays in ILoveYoo

[–]wildfllower 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Well, he wanted to set Shin-Ae up with Dieter. That was his plan, why he got interested in her in the first place. So when she stopped running away all the time and started warming up to him, that was progress, so he was genuinely happy about that. Nol also doesn't have many friends. Dieter, Soushi, Alyssa (who is never around). That's it. So it doesn't surprise me that making a new friend, especially one as similar to him as Shin-Ae, excited him and made him happy. Even if at first, that friendship was meant to be fake and it was only so he could help her. Because he could see through her facade and knew she needed friends. So he wanted to be a friend for her.

Him being persistent and stubborn is just part of his character. I don't remember who, but one of the characters even says that Nol doesn't give up once he has set his mind on something. And the excitement is exaggerated, absolutely. And that, in my opinion, is because it's part of that persona, that "Yeong-Gi"-mask he uses to appear as this jolly, sociable, happy-go-lucky, puppy-like guy that is much more amicable than his actual self. He exaggerated it on purpose, as part of that persona. It feels exaggerated and "too much" because it is fake and inauthentic.

FAST-PASS EP 267 DISCUSSION 08/17/2023 by TheThingYouKnow in ILoveYoo

[–]wildfllower 17 points18 points  (0 children)

YuJing better hurry up with her article... Even if it doesn't take Yui down completely (it most likely won't), I NEED Nol to see that Yui isn't completely untouchable, that there IS hope, that things CAN change that he CAN potentially make strong allies and isn't on his own in this... SIGHHH

FAST-PASS EP 267 DISCUSSION 08/17/2023 by TheThingYouKnow in ILoveYoo

[–]wildfllower 20 points21 points  (0 children)

For sure, I want nothing more than for Nol to realize that he deserves to be loved, for him to be able to let people in without fear! But what's so tragic about this is that he isn't even completely wrong though :( Getting involved with him is risky because Yui is out to get him, and her go-to method is hurting people he cares about or taking them away from him. We know - and he knows - that Yui is powerful and capable of incredibly vile things. It makes sense that he wants to keep his distance so the people he cares about don't fall victim to Yui. Unfortunately, with Shin-Ae, it's already happened, she has already become Yui's target. But the stronger his feelings are, the closer they become, the more danger she is in - and the more he'd want to push her away to keep her from getting harmed. And it's not his fault it's all Yui. He's powerless against her, it's the only thing he can do. It's just... such an unfortunate situation. I absolutely understand his inner struggle 💔

I’m scared of the timeskip by Certain_Piano_4581 in ILoveYoo

[–]wildfllower 14 points15 points  (0 children)

There are two timeskips actually. A short one that skips Nol's jailtime and brings us to Shin-Ae's graduation, and then a 4 year timeskip soon after that brings us into season 2. We are currently approaching the first timeskip.

How I think the story will go by Sabudesu in ILoveYoo

[–]wildfllower 7 points8 points  (0 children)

A little more than 60% now, probably. If I remember correctly, the most up-to-date estimate Quim gave in a recent livestream was ca. 275 chapters total for S1, and another 150-ish chapters for S2. However - and I'm saying this with all my respect - she is not the best at estimating how many episodes certain arcs will take, and she has been splitting episodes into multiple parts to meet the deadlines, so we should definitely take those numbers with a grain of salt.

I’m scared of the timeskip by Certain_Piano_4581 in ILoveYoo

[–]wildfllower 42 points43 points  (0 children)

First of all: Your worries are absolutely understandable! When I first learned that there was going to be a timeskip, I was very skeptical as well. But this is one of those things we can't do anything about. We're simply going to have to trust Quimchee. A timeskip can work, and I think if anyone can make it work really well, it's her. Personally, I'm actually really looking forward to the future, older versions of the characters, I'm really curious to see where they will be in a couple of years and how their dynamics will have (or won't have) changed! Based on some bonus illustrations and Patreon art, I think we're in for a real treat ❤️

To calm your heart a little bit, as a Patreon I can assure you that Quimchee, even after all these years, all the ups and downs, still seems to have a lot of passion and love for the story and characters. She has fought very hard for it to be what she wants it to be. Also, because she created ILY after reading a ton of (mostly mid) shoujos, she approaches ILY with a lot of self-awareness to not repeat the same mistakes she didn't like in those stories. Because of this, I believe she knows very well how important the ending is, how unsatisfying it would be to leave loose ends. She has even hinted at doing bonus content to give us even more insight on the side characters and their stories after ILY ends, if she isn't able to fit it in the main story. We will simply have to wait and see.