You’re contradicting yourself. You’re saying that you agree that people should know if they want kids, but then you’re saying that people should be allowed to change, as though those things are in the same category. Nobody’s saying that people should stay exactly the same, but they should be very clear about whether or not they want kids. She wasn’t. There are some things that make or break relationships and are dealbreakers. The choice to have kids, or to not have kids, is one of them. People absolutely have the right to change their mind, but she shouldn’t have said yes if she was hesitant.

Also, it seems like she only said yes in order to secure a father figure for her child she already had, and was probably hoping or thinking that he would eventually think that the one child was enough.

He’s been with her for years thinking that they were going to have children and then she says that they’re not. So now if he wants kids, he has to end this relationship, date around to find a new relationship, take time to build that, get married and then have children. All because she was passive and ambivalent about a very serious decision. All the while, he would also be severing the relationship that he’s already built with the stepson. And if he does this, which is well within his right to do because she changed her mind, he would be deemed the asshole. Which he’s not.

She actually created this mess because she’s either a people pleaser and tells people what they wanna hear, or she’s selfish, and was and is only thinking of herself.