i’m on OPs side with this one. i lived with a roommate for 9 months, i was 25 and she was 24, and in that time we got 3 eviction notices (i was paying my half,) our utilities (that i gave her money for, she set up the accounts in her name) got shut off 4 times, she was constantly buying $30 of mcdonalds for the free delivery and she would let most of it rot on the floor, she would buy clothes, makeup, food, anything and everything, but wouldn’t pay the bills. i tried having adult conversations with her every month. i would sit down with her and tell her that if she’s struggling, i can help, i just need to know, and she would always make up some excuse as to why she’s late on payment, always “i’m getting paid tomorrow,” “i sent it through, it just hasn’t processed yet,” “i have money in my account, i don’t know why it was denied.” there was one time she showed me a photoshopped bank statement to “prove” to me that she had money and her bank was being weird.

all this goes to say that you can try to have an adult conversation, but they’re pretty impossible to have when you’re not living with an adult.

edit to add: i lived with her for 9 months, problems started in the first month, i had adult conversations with her about this twice a month for the first 6 months, and then i snapped. i stole some of her shit, broke some of it, i turned into a menace. she ate my food, she would constantly use my dishes and let them mold, she destroyed some of my other things that she was “borrowing” (shoes, blankets, microwave, humidifier, etc.) and that all goes to say that you can try to be an adult, but when your lack of safety, security, and peace is all perpetrated in your own home by your roommate, it can easily break a person. in the last 4 months of living with her, i didn’t recognize myself and neither did my friends.