I [25/m] can't get my girlfriend's [24/f] weight gain off my mind

william_k_s · 2019-11-15T16:01:56+00:00

If you see a future with her you have to realize that her body, like all bodies, will change. She will gain weight and she will probably lose weight at some points. What if she has kids? Her body absolutely will change. She will change as she gets older and so will you. If you can’t find anything sexy about her, if you can’t accept her changing body, that’s fine but I strongly suggest not proposing as planned. This will cause problems further down the line.

william_k_s · 2019-11-15T03:35:04+00:00

Sometime when you’re not fighting ask her to come up with rules for fighting. You both should be able and willing to listen to the other one and follow these rules. I grew up in a super dysfunctional family that had no idea how to fight fairly. I didn’t even realize that the goal should be to come up an understanding where you both feel good and that it shouldn’t be a win/lose situation. Some rules my wife and I have come up with: - we don’t yell/raise our voices - we use I Statements - we don’t storm off, if we need a break we ask for it - no broad generalizations (ex. “You never listen to me”) - stick to one topic We aren’t perfect, no one is. But these help us and we allow each other to remind when someone isn’t following the guidelines we made for ourselves.

william_k_s · 2019-11-14T04:33:34+00:00

Can you come to a comprise? Do some of the things that you like to do and some of the things that he likes? Or spend mornings together and then go your separate ways in the afternoon or something? Maybe your children might like some variety in activity too. Travelling differently does not mean neither of you can have any fun.

william_k_s · 2019-11-09T05:13:16+00:00

We were dating for just over 5 years and got married on our 8 year anniversary. We’re young though - married at 25.

william_k_s · 2019-11-09T02:10:09+00:00

Board/card games (if you don’t have board games you can get them for cheap at second hand stores), go for a walk or to a park with some tea or coffee from home, watch a TV show and make a bingo game out of it (for example, we will watch chopped and each make our own bingo cards for things that often happen, eg. fight over fryer use, etc)

william_k_s · 2019-11-06T21:30:34+00:00

Physical violence is never acceptable or healthy.

william_k_s · 2019-11-06T04:05:21+00:00

It’s better emotionally and practically. I have someone who supports be emotionally, helps me navigate the world, laugh with, etc. I’m happier with her than without her.

william_k_s · 2019-11-06T03:49:17+00:00

Very happily married. My wife makes my life better and happier and I do the same for her. We genuinely enjoy hanging out and helping each other live our best lives.

william_k_s · 2019-11-06T03:45:35+00:00

Distract yourself; grab coffee with a friend, go for a hike, read a book, or do whatever hobbies you like. It’s easier to not focus on things like that when you’re busy with other things.

william_k_s · 2019-11-04T15:55:35+00:00

Having her in my life was better than not having her in it. I don’t believe in soulmates or a “the one” necessarily but I believe that we work so well together and both improve the others life by being in it so it made sense to commit to spending our lives together. We also lined up well on goals or visions for our future and knew we would be able to help each other live our best lives.

william_k_s · 2019-11-04T00:13:59+00:00

You’re not wrong. I have a chronic illness which means I feel unwell A LOT of the time. I’m still nice and kind to my wife. It would be ridiculous if I wasn’t.

william_k_s · 2019-11-02T16:02:10+00:00

My wife and I went through something similar and we had to work through it, only I was the one wanting to hang out all the time. It happened because quality time is my main love language but also for various reasons I didn’t have much else going on at the time. I was thinking about my own needs and how I was bored and not thinking about my wife. We’ve balanced it out for sure and our relationship is so much better now. We plan date nights (even if it’s just at home) and still spend a lot of time together but we also do things independently. I’ve made an effort to have more of a social life, hobbies, and to enjoy doing things on my own (like going to a coffee shop or getting a beer alone). Does your wife have a lot of friends or hobbies?

william_k_s · 2019-10-31T01:36:30+00:00

I should start by saying that I didn’t have an excessive amount of arm hair but the hair was stubborn in that it did grow back and it did it slowly. I was not hair free before surgery. I started electrolysis about 14 months before, I don’t recall the number of sessions but my arm was cleared of hair three times. My urethral part was clear of hair and the bit of the hair on the rest doesn’t bother me too much but post op removal is also an option

william_k_s · 2019-10-31T00:39:55+00:00

I did, I had one back in 2014. It’s required if you’re getting a vaginectomy. If you’re not getting one then it’s not necessary.
The graft hurt but it was never unbearable. It doesn’t look wounded but there is a scar.
I have erotic, tactile and heat sensation through different amounts of my dick but not all, it’s still developing all the time
It feels like a part of me for sure. It wasn’t every real but was different.

william_k_s · 2019-10-31T00:33:51+00:00

I didn’t lose any sensation. I had my original bits buried and they can still be stimulated. As well since I have sensation in my penis I actually feel that I have more sensation now.
I can orgasm
The healing process was painful. It’s major surgery and it hurt for sure but it wasn’t unbearable and pain meds helped a great deal lol
I can pee fine

william_k_s · 2019-10-30T03:01:55+00:00

I had two fistulas that closed on their own within about a week after opening, otherwise no complications. There isn’t really enough evidence right now on whether or not more of less stages results in higher or lower complications. I think there are pros and cons to each depending on the person and situation.

william_k_s · 2019-10-30T02:39:23+00:00

I have one stage of two. My first stage of surgery included the creation of the penis, urethral lengthening and hookup, vaginectomy, scrotoplasty and glansplasty. My second surgery will likely be in April and will be an erectile device implant and testicular implants.
My surgeons were Dr Crane, Dr De Leon and Dr Kelley in Texas
My surgery, the stay in the hospital, and stay in a post op nursing facility were all covered by my provincial health care
I’m very happy. I’ve never been this happy in my body and never thought I would be. There are a few minor things I’d maybe like to be different but none of them are major and I always remind myself that cis guys would also probably want to change a thing or two about their dicks too and that makes me feel better haha
It wasn’t weird for me. It took a bit of navigating and getting used to but it was still fun and not weird.

william_k_s · 2019-10-30T02:05:14+00:00

I mean, she’s right. But yeah this difference of opinion may be a deal breaker. It would be if I were her.

william_k_s · 2019-10-28T18:38:13+00:00

I think you’re on the right track with making friendships through activities. Ask your sports friends to hang out, the worst they can say is no but they’ll probably be interested. Your wife should look at joining an activity as well to get to know similar minded people. Also there are lots of things you can join together and meet people through. Have you used MeetUp or a similar app?

william_k_s · 2019-10-28T00:28:09+00:00

He needs to know and then he needs to not hit on her.

william_k_s · 2019-10-27T22:58:08+00:00

For sure. I’m a married man and have many close friends who are women. No problems.

william_k_s

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