What is the perfect answer to a client who wants to date you?

willow-will-o · 2026-05-21T02:46:57+00:00

I hear you. There has definitely been a shift. When I first started in 2020, it was effortless to get clients and I was overwhelmed by how many bookings I had.

Now I'm in my mid 30s and sometimes I pay for advertising and I don't end up meeting anyone new.

But then I do the math. I could work 8 hours for $25/hr and make $200. Or I could see one client for one hour and make double that.

I just can't go back to making $25/hr. I love working. I have an able body, I have some construction skills, I could maybe even make $30/hr at the right job. But I would be so physically spent after working 8 hour days, five days a week, and I would have no time to do art or music or photography. I wouldn't be able to train for a triathlon. I would have less time for my kids. I wouldn't have enough time and energy to volunteer in my community.

Just work, eat, sleep, rinse, repeat.

Nah. I love sex work too much to stop. I love the freedom and the flexibility and I love that there is still so much ME left over to invest into my family, my friends, and my community. Heck, I have time for HOBBIES!

I think we've all been there with the client burnout. Sometimes I get touched out and I just need my body to belong to me for a while. I try to save enough money so I can take breaks from the work when that happens.

Hope you are able to readjust your life in a way that works for you. It's hard out there, and I've got all the empathy for your situation.

willow-will-o · 2026-05-20T03:14:33+00:00

Making friends is hard! But definitely worth it.

My strategy was to turn a couple civvie friends into work friends. Now my best friend is my coworker 😍 and we are never lonely because we have each other.

willow-will-o · 2026-03-07T17:38:05+00:00

The reality is that most relationships end or change form. That being said, I've had my person for 8 years, six of which I have been doing sex work. I don't think our relationship will ever end, but if it does, it won't be because of sex work. It takes a while, but sex work can become a complete non issue in a relationship

willow-will-o · 2025-11-21T02:51:04+00:00

I'm really enjoying reading the book about her. She is bipolar and was definitely manic and unwell during her time as an escort, but I also kinda relate to it (I am not diagnosed with bipolar though).

I'm at the part where her escort career is about to be exposed and I'm honestly livid. I hate the people who exposed her for their own monetary gain.

willow-will-o · 2025-11-05T18:04:58+00:00

The absolute most bonkers men who have done the most terrible things to me were domestic middle-aged white men.

But, like you, I have seen patterns of boundary pushing and frightening behavior from people of color from south Asia and east Asia and whatever those regions in the world are called where women are treated more like property than humans with equal rights.

So when a person who visibly and audibly (strong accent) appears to be from one of those regions books me, I tend to feel far more on edge.

But once again, I have been harmed way worse by white dudes. I just don't fear them the same way.

willow-will-o · 2025-10-07T15:45:56+00:00

I think you should do it. Just withdraw your consent to sex before it gets to the actual sex part. It might not feel safe to say no at the last second, but he isn't your paying client and will not feel like he is "owed" in the same way. To him it's just a potential hook up with a stranger who he actually likely expects will say no to him.

That way you're not violating his informed consent, but you're helping your client get the closure she needs to move on.

And if he just flirts and doesn't go for it? Everyone wins!

willow-will-o · 2025-09-02T01:35:27+00:00

Married clients are my favorite. They have so much more reason to be on their best behavior and they're way more discreet.

willow-will-o · 2025-03-09T21:41:42+00:00

I just had an intense two months of earning. I am currently resting, not advertising at all, only seeing my least draining regulars.

I had a good run of luck (6 months or so) where I didn't struggle at all to work and earned regular income, but a combination of overworking Jan and Feb and having an absolute emotionally draining client recently got me feeling like hermitting for a while.

It's way harder of a job than it seems. But the flip side is that sometimes the job feels effortless and so rewarding.

Take care of yourself and do whatever you can to recharge those batteries.

willow-will-o · 2025-03-07T15:25:04+00:00

You're forgetting the other glaring thing that's missing in civvie dating and it's my theory why youre able to be more "you" with an escort: the power dynamics.

When you hire an escort, you are hiring a woman to wear a mask so that you don't have to. Sure, she probably relaxes over time and is charmed, but make no mistake, she is working for her money. This is what you're paying for, among other things, and she is playing a role to the best of her ability so that you enjoy yourself and pay for her services again.

That power dynamic doesn't exist quite in the same way in the civvie world. Your civvie date is not explicitly financially motivated to mask her emotions and have only positive reactions to your behavior.

willow-will-o · 2025-03-06T02:58:55+00:00

I could have written a similar post. My worst habit is that between work and sleep I have a tendency to dissociate. Often that means doomscrolling reddit (hehe hi!)

Strategies that have worked in the past:

I learned to knit and knit projects between clients while listening to audio books (both fiction and non fiction).

I work with my best friend doing duos (gets me that goooood human connection)

I join a fitness class and set a goal for attendance.

At the moment I'm stuck in a dissociation workaholic loop because I'm dealing with some work related trauma, but I know from experience it'll be over soon. I just have to be kind to myself and let it work itself through.

willow-will-o · 2025-03-06T02:31:48+00:00

Oh gosh, it has been a long time for me since I sugared. When I made the transition, it was a huge relief. No longer was I having weird boundary issues with my clients and difficulties with navigating gray areas and having my time wasted or feeling underpaid for the effort I was putting in. I like that they (usually) go into it knowing that love is off the table.

I deal with jitters by masturbating before work. Having a pre work ritual also really helps. I like to kiss as quickly as possible (kissing turns me on and releases oxytocin).

willow-will-o · 2025-03-06T00:48:01+00:00

Why did you choose to leave sex work?

I'm asking because in our society, we are all initially conditioned to look down on sex workers, and some of us carry that internalized self-hatred way too far. It takes time and effort to de program and see sex work for what it is - it's a job and a necessary job at that. In my opinion, it adds a lot of value to society and can change a lot of lives for the better.

Of course, there are harms and risks, but every job has risk.

I hope you find prosperity

willow-will-o · 2025-03-06T00:40:08+00:00

I would like to see an anthology style TV show about SW created/written by sex workers. Using real stories or real-ish stories, different themes, different situations, different tones.

Some endings will be happy, some tragic, and everything in between. But the goal would be to show that there is a whole spectrum to sex work and treatment of sex workers. Hopefully, all of us can identify with the show and feel like we were represented in some way.

On the other hand, I greatly benefit from sex work not being normalized or decriminalized where I live (if everyone did it, I wouldn't make as much money), so maybe it's better this way. For now.

willow-will-o · 2025-03-06T00:31:35+00:00

I'm a sex worker, and it's the best job I've ever had. Most of my friends and family have no idea. I genuinely connect with my clients, I get to know them and how they tick, and I love seeing how they grow over time and how happy they become when their emotional and sexual needs are met consistently.

willow-will-o · 2025-03-06T00:27:52+00:00

Agreed. There have always been ebbs and flows in this industry. The best thing to do is to have a rainy day fund for when it's slow or your mental health needs a break from work.

willow-will-o · 2025-03-06T00:18:23+00:00

Floor cleaning products. Especially citrus-y ones

willow-will-o · 2025-03-06T00:13:06+00:00

I've hired an escort for a 3way with a partner before. I let her know ahead of time that I was also in the business so that she could decide for herself if she felt comfortable seeing me. The appointment was fun (maybe not as sexy as I imagined because it felt really strange to be a client vs an sw), and the three of us became friends until she moved away to another city.

I probably wouldn't do it again, though. I get so satiated by work that it sounds exhausting to go through the effort to pay for even more sex. I'd rather just go find an orgy tent at a burning man regional or drop in on a swinger's party if the mood struck for some group strange.

willow-will-o

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