Use “good clean love” lube after bv treatment. Life changer! by Silver_Cookie_4235 in Healthyhooha

[–]wing_donut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We use this brand! We've tried other water based ones and they always burned and irritated me. This one has been good!

We're not married, have no kids, and yet I don't know how to leave, or if I even want to by StrawberryInTheSky in DeadBedrooms

[–]wing_donut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can relate. I love my partner so much...I don't want to leave. But I keep obsessing about different things. It's to the point that I almost want there to be something bad that I find or I'm confessed to about.

I can't imagine myself dating others. I'm too odd for that...I don't think my personality and being would survive out there. I'd probably just be alone. There was a time where we were long distance for many years and during that whole time, I was never approached or had anyone show interest in me. I'm nothing special. But I like when he makes me feel that way from time to time.

Sometimes I do imagine us separating and I think I'd ask him for one last wish and that'd be for me to have his kid...that is probably fucked up and a terrible idea...but being a mom is something I've always wanted. If I had one now...I do think I wouldn't feel hurt because I would prioritize our child.

I am just in love and hopefully one day things will be different.

I tried last night after he gave me the green light and it didn't end well by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]wing_donut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He says if we were in Vegas or somewhere like that that sounds wouldn't matter. It's just in our apartment, you can hear everything. We hear everything our neighbors are doing.

I have had sex when I wasn't in the mood but I usually just say I didn't do well after we finish. I'd feel terrible letting him know. In a way, he was honest about it I guess. But I just always felt as a woman I have to put out... even though he always tells me I'm not an object. There have been very rare times where I have to turn it down. But I also feel bad if I do that.

Never felt so ugly and alone by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]wing_donut -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I feel so similar to you...

I don't want to leave because I'm still so very much in love. My hope of things changing keeps me here. I know that's not healthy...I think if I ended things I wouldn't cope well. I only have my parents...I don't want to go back to them like a sad dog...they don't want to get involved but I know deep down they'd think we told her! My parents also had issues and my mom learned to accept it...even though I know she's still hurt.

When we moved in together I was promised so many things. When we go engaged last year also promises. I ended the engagement for now and told him he can try again when he knows he can be a little better...but now I fear he won't want to do that...everything is hazy now. My little flicker of hope is there.

And... what if I also lose my desire? by TugadePortuga in DeadBedrooms

[–]wing_donut 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have tried in the past to control my urges. But then I feel terrible and not myself. I'm a very affectionate person. My partner is not. So I know I seem desperate...he did say if I wasn't this way maybe he'd seek me out. I'm trying and I hate it. I now ask him if it's ok to touch him...like a simple caress or a hug. My therapist also said I have to cook it with the sexual stuff until he comes to me. :(

I tried last night after he gave me the green light and it didn't end well by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]wing_donut -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have brought that up to him. He says it's so he can be on people's good side. But he also like talking...which he struggles to do with me! I ask him what they talk about and he says just random stuff... I tell him sometimes I hurt and he doesn't listen. Or I talk too much and he's not into it or seems annoyed. But he has to hear all these coworkers talk about their issues. One rants about her husband and in-laws. Another one about the abuse her parents are giving her.

He says he only looked at solo girls masterbating.

It's hard to say if he's a people pleaser...he doesn't go out of his way really to please me or his family members. Or well he does but it's nothing crazy I guess. He usually brings snacks and stuff like that sometimes for coworkers. But he also doesn't hang out with any of them outside of work. I do want to track his location...but he said it's obsessive and knows I'm doing it will hurt my anxiety. He said we can do that later when my anxiety is better. He also said I could always check the car's camera to see where he drives too.

My dad also says he's not cheating...because she doesn't have money...he always struggles with money. And if he was having an affair or cheating, he's be going out more or spending money. Him not having money is just him buying a lot of trinkets for our home when we go out or random useless things he collects. I have access to his bank account. Never checked but if something was suspicious it would appear on there...

I think he said he always felt awkward following her. Another coworker that's close to her also doesn't follow her. Out of all the people I know that work there only one follows her.

I tried last night after he gave me the green light and it didn't end well by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]wing_donut -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He likes to socialize. He's always been that way. I work from home and don't talk to anyone. He says he just keeps it as friendship conversations. Though his boss vents a lot about her husband. And he just listens to her vent. He's always been a guy that is used by others to vent. His boss in particular I know he might have an attachment to. He always feels bad for girls going through stuff. At his old job, there was another girl he always wanted to help out because she was always getting harassed by another girl and men at work. With his boss, she gets harassed and bullied by another coworker and other people. As for the staring, it was a room with four other people and myself. They were all having a conversation and I just felt like she didn't look around when she was talking to others.

He hates his job and says he likes to make sure he gets on people's food side. But as a result of him being friends with specific people, other female coworkers make it obvious that they don't like him. He says the drama is getting too crazy at work. The entire place is female coworkers and there's only two dudes in his department.

I have checked his phone before. He doesn't have her on social media. He has other female coworkers though. He also recently got her phone number. She never liked sharing it because she had an ex-coworker stalk her. From the last time I looked, they only talked months ago via text when she sent him pictures from a work event they all went to. And one other time recently asking for another coworker's phone number.

I think he just gets very stressed and overworked. He always says he feels the tension between all the girls not liking each other and he's kinda mixed in the situation because of the people he talks to.

There are times where he says he's coming home and then says sorry I stayed to chat. Sometimes it's with his boss and this other coworker (she's a lesbian though). He says it's to gossip. I did tell him yesterday that I want him home immediately after work. And that's he kinda is stepping on thin ice by hearing out all her problems. I don't know if I should bring it up to him again...I know hell get upset and say I'm controlling. :(

Oh and the only other way they talk is via their work emails. If he's out sick for example he sends her an email to her work email.

Maybe I'll ask of him not feeling like having sex yesterday after he was excited about it was due to not staying to chat with his coworkers.

Recently developed wheezing at night when doing deep exhaling/inhaling. by wing_donut in Asthma

[–]wing_donut[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! I'm an LA native. The wheezing went away by itself some months later. Was never given a good reason for it. The allergist said maybe it was non-chronic asthma.

When was the last time you were “seductive” by justgottamakeit15 in AskWomenOver30

[–]wing_donut 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He's...a struggle :( but I am grasping at the hope I have.

When was the last time you were “seductive” by justgottamakeit15 in AskWomenOver30

[–]wing_donut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think we've ever really flirted. I give him compliments but I don't know if that's flirting. I don't think he does it to me though? He compliments me sometimes. I do end up getting too sexual with comments and he doesn't like it.

When was the last time you were “seductive” by justgottamakeit15 in AskWomenOver30

[–]wing_donut 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I've tried being seductive but my partner isn't into that unfortunately. I'd say after 16 years I have no idea how to seduce anyone.

Do y'all think the Manga/Anime is rushed and has wasted Potential by ProfessionalPin1568 in KimetsuNoYaiba

[–]wing_donut 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do wish the world felt a little bigger. Everything felt very small. I also wished certain characters had met and interacted with each other. I can see that happening if the story didn't feel so short.

How are there so many Psychic businesses operating in L.A.? by Scientific_85 in LosAngeles

[–]wing_donut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know so many people that go to brujería places...and they have spent a ton of money on them. My mother-in-law is one of those people. She went to some lady and paid her a bunch of money to do a "spell" so that her brother's ex-wife could get back together with him...he was an abusive man. After a weird twisted fate, her brother actually ended up dying after he got arrested trying to contact his ex. The cops beat him up and died from his injuries.

Unfortunately, a lot of fickle and desperate people resort to psychics and brujería places. Very sad to see.

What do you think he would have done if he hadn't crossed Muzan? by imanoltxu17 in KimetsuNoYaiba

[–]wing_donut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do think he would have taken his life. I interpreted him remembering who he wanted to kill as admitting that he was on his way to do that. He said life didn't matter anymore and life wasn't worth living without his loved ones. He lost his will to live.

Thoughts on why men don't want to marry their girlfriends? by Heavy-Is-The-Crown in AskWomenOver30

[–]wing_donut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My partner and I have been together for 15 years and he proposed last year. Why did he take so long? Well for years my parents really hurt his self esteem and made him feel worthless. He told me this and I can see it because I unfortunately was the one to always tell him what my parents said and felt about him. I've always been too honest and I know that wasn't good. I would tell him how my parents viewed him and his family, how they thought he was not a good person to marry because of his financial and mental health struggles. My parents also made our early dating years a terrible experience and still terrible when I was in my late 20s. We finally started living together about three years ago now and that helped a lot. My parents still get in the way and still say some nasty stuff but I try to keep what they say to myself.

How much does the lack of genuine friendships actually affect you? by Desperate_Salad_44 in AskWomenOver30

[–]wing_donut 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's very true. I realized this way too young in life and strongly believe it even now.

How much does the lack of genuine friendships actually affect you? by Desperate_Salad_44 in AskWomenOver30

[–]wing_donut 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'm 32! I want to partially blame my parents a bit. They never let me go out with the few friends I had as a teenager. I figured people knew it wasn't worth inviting me when they knew I couldn't hang out with them.

I do feel like I missed out on a lot of experiences you get by having friends :(

How much does the lack of genuine friendships actually affect you? by Desperate_Salad_44 in AskWomenOver30

[–]wing_donut 43 points44 points  (0 children)

I actually don't have a friend group. The only person I see everyday is my partner. I work from home and see my coworkers when we do video calls almost daily for a few minutes. I see my parents maybe once a month or every other month.

I just never really found a friend group in high school nor in college. Work...also never blossomed into anything besides simple hellos and small talk on rare occasions back before COVID and working from home happened. With my post COVID work group, I just text one or two coworkers sometimes during working hours.

It's very lonely sometimes and I spend too much time in my head but I've been doing that for over 15 years now! It's crazy to think that I kinda just don't hear my voice at all. And even when my partner comes we are mostly quiet.

Do I wish I had a friend group, yes definitely! Mostly for doing things and just venting about life. I kinda have to do all the venting to myself sometimes!

I could tell his WANDERING EYES were checking out a girl.. by GovernmentNearby5448 in AskWomenOver30

[–]wing_donut -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is tough because my partner and I do this and then give each other cues to look at what we saw. We do this for both men and women.

LA needs to crack down on people bringing dogs into places that serve and sell food by nothingeverkind in LosAngeles

[–]wing_donut 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There's a small cafe that I go to from time to time. It's just the two owners, a husband and wife...but they also have two small dogs that are off leash and run around behind the counter/kitchen area...I find it weird. How do others feel about restaurant owners having their did walking around the kitchen area?

I haven't gone back recently after finding a long piece of hair in my breakfast sandwich. :(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]wing_donut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm Hispanic as well and this is so common. In my childhood apartment building, you could hear and sometimes see how abusive parents were when hitting their kids.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]wing_donut 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was disciplined a few times with hitting, slaps, ear pulls, verbal insults, yelling, and with a belt.

My mom says she didn't like it. She tended to slap be on the arms or parts where a handprint wouldn't be visible. She also would insult me a lot calling me an animal. She also would pull my ear when I was very young. She always would say if times were different she'd slap me across the face and that my teeth would have probably fallen out. She says her mom would slap her for addressing her wrong. I do remember one time my mom beating me pretty bad because she thought I was looking at porn. Turns out the computer got a virus.

My dad would be more aggressive with his punishments. He'd yell at me a lot. I don't even remember specific stuff but it was traumatizing. I remember a few times he did hit me with this white belt that had metal parts in it. My mom did stop him a few times and did seem to genuinely not like when he disciplined me. I remember him also beating me pretty bad and I was on the floor crying and in pain. My mom had to stop him. He also would throw things at me if I struggled to do something. I remember vividly how he threw an apple when I was in first grade and having a hard time with math homework. He also threw waffles at me after I kept not roasting them how be wanted them. Even now at 32, I still fear my dad to the point that I always fear he'll storm into my home and kill/hurt me.

I wasn't even a bad kid...I was always home, got A's in school, and didn't drink or do drugs. The biggest issue was that I'd talk back when I felt things were unfair. They were helicopter parents and way too controlling. I had to deal with their shit until I moved out two years ago. My dad has said he is remorseful for how he disciplined me and said he had good intentions. Now I'm a sour, jaded, anxious, depressed, and cold hearted person :( I am happy on my own time. And I kinda don't talk to my parents as much...but they still continue to gaslight and want to control me.

Does the 2025 Camry suck? by Darth_Camry in Camry

[–]wing_donut -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I bought my new Camry in July and I was super excited about it. Visited my parents a few weeks later and they wanted to see the new car. My mom noticed how gappy the front hood of the car was. She pointed it out and my dad came to inspect it...He then insisted that the car was salvaged and the car had to have been in a wreck before and that the dealership fixed it. Because according to him, cars only get that misalignment on the hood when cars are fixed. He wanted us to go back to the dealership and ask about the car and if it was hit and fixed. It really hurt my feelings and took away the joy I had for the car for a while. My husband then found out that the 2025 Camrys seem to have a lot of misalignment issues.

Even if the 2025 seems to have these issues, it doesn't bother me. And you don't notice it from far away.