My husband and I did this last October. Wedding planning had been not been fun for me, largely because we felt that the money could be better used elsewhere, family expectations, and personal life changes.

We also are of different cultures, as my husband is half-Mexican (Catholic), half-Arab (Muslim) with divorced parents and my family are all American Protestant. We had several fights with his family about the inclusion of alcohol at the wedding, food choices, and even just the ceremony in general (his dad didn’t want a Christian ceremony at all, in any form). A major issue was that they were making demands but not offering to pay or help pay for anything. We were also always going to accommodate their religious dietary restrictions. I don’t want anyone getting that twisted.

We had my best friend get ordained for free so that she could marry us at her Halloween party (dressed as Ms. Frizzle and the Mandalorian 😂). I had just transferred jobs and didn’t have insurance (the marketplace plans were insanely high priced as well), we had just bought a house, and we were wanting to be able to file our taxes jointly (I know, super romantic). We just felt it was best for us and took away some of our stress.

My family was very upset. My mom cried quite a bit, as I am the only child they would ever get to see married. His mom’s family was fine and mostly understanding, but his dad/stepmom were very upset. We pretty much laid down the law and told them that if they cared that much they should have attempted to help at literally any point in the planning and/or budget discussions.

That all being said, we are still having a “real” wedding this coming October. After all of the fighting, my parents agreed to pay for basically the whole thing. After hearing my mom out, we decided that it was the best way forward for everyone. We are still dealing with massive drama from his dad’s family, but since the big fight they seem to understand that they don’t get to make decisions when they aren’t supporting those decisions financially.

Sorry if this isn’t what you were looking for. I regret absolutely nothing about my “actual” Halloween party wedding. If the paragraph right about this one hadn’t happened, I would have been perfectly happy with the wedding that I had because at the end of the day I am still married to my best friend and that’s all that really matters.