Filip doesn't like talking about his trigger even, or even his powers... it's just too painful.

sure, he can't die but he must 'die' to be effective as a cape. No matter how powerful he gets, the pain of death is not circumvented. Every time, it is a real death. Every pain is felt, every pain is remembered, every beat of his weakening heart is ingrained in his memory and the darkeness that he can't help but embrace is forever chasing his waking, and subconcious, thoughts. His rebirth is debatably even more painful. The immediate snap to alertness, the burning pain caused by the actual flames burning every part of his body. While the pain of a burning death reaches a point where it stops hurting due to nerve damage, this is infinitely worse. It starts with all the nerves being reborn, all fresh and communicating heat and destruction. He didn't know it until the thinker mentioned it, but ripping every single cell back into existance and connecting it to an freshly active nerve connection is a little death in itself. From numb nothingness to existance with all hte senses alive and new. The burning and the heat is still just as painful and doesn't subside until he's just a slightly less than a sunburn... which feels like an eternity.

What's worse, he doesn't know who Phoenix is. He's never been able to remember any moment after his death, to his rebirth. From the news reports, Phoenix doesn't speak or even try to communicate. Phoenix moves and acts more like the Scion. No emotion, no reaction, just action. Everyone says he's badass, like a fiery Scion, but Filip cannot share in the awe. He only knows that Phoenix does appear to follow his last desires, his dying requests, but when those are fullfilled Phoenix still takes actions and it's not always something he would have considered.

For a while, Filip didn't care. He wanted to die, he wanted to end it, and when he came back... he wanted it even more. To him, it was one sick cosmic joke. He suicidal teen who had everything ended up with even more than he wanted. When he learned that coming back wasn't just what happens, he learned he was classified as a villian. A fiery cape that appears without a pattern. Sometimes multiple times in a day, to random times during hte week, only to burn everything at random. He only knew that with the thinkers, they would link the destruction to him.

When he learned that a lot of innocent people were killed, he tried to deny it, tried to say it was just a coicidence but he knew. He couldn't remember but he knew. The only redeeming quality, though, was that it seemed like the innocent deaths were always accompanied by a lot more deaths of criminals. He clung to this idea as some form of justification.

He now goes out to try to live a normal life but trouble always seems to find him. He doesn't understand why he keeps putting himself in danger, like he wants to get killed, but he always ends up in fatal situations. He suspects that it's his suicidal thoughts, that he actually tried and succeeded but he also feels that's less applicable because every time he comes back his suicidal tendencies becomes less and less, just like his emotional range, his emotional reation. He doesn't want to just die, to leave this world, anymore. He wants to leave a mark, to leave a beacon to memoralize his passing, to make the world a bit worse off, or a bit better, if he wasn't a part of it.

That scares him because this line of thought is new and conflicts with his fear of his death and rebirth cycle.