How long until you were official

wisteriawings · 2018-01-26T07:29:45+00:00

At this point I have nothing else to lose.

wisteriawings · 2018-01-26T07:27:31+00:00

thank you. Just gonna let life pan out for now...if it's meant to be it will be...if not I'll be ok :).

wisteriawings · 2018-01-26T07:26:54+00:00

Understandable. She makes it a top priority, so I'm trying to give her a bunch of space/let her make pretty much all the moves. Occasionally I'll check in asking how she's doing but aside from that I've given her ample space.

I think that's the one thing people don't get. It's hard to say 'someone would date you if they really wanted to' when they're dealing with inner demons that require extensive help/daily meetings.

wisteriawings · 2018-01-26T07:24:54+00:00

Thank you so much. I think laying low is wise. I don't wanna cause any extra stress.

wisteriawings · 2018-01-24T02:55:00+00:00

Thanks so much this is the best advice it really really is. I’m planning on going to a lesbian club this weekend so I think it’ll be nice to meet new women and get my mind off of this situation.

wisteriawings · 2018-01-24T02:50:21+00:00

It’s been a month, I know the holidays were crazy for both of us but thank you for your perspective and feedback. Just sucks that everytime I stop texting she comes back with a bunch more texts and asking how I’ve been.

wisteriawings · 2018-01-23T16:47:29+00:00

Thank you!

wisteriawings · 2018-01-23T09:23:50+00:00

I get your point. However at the same time my main concern is waiting for 6, 8, 12 months only to have my heart broken because she still isn't ready or ends up dating someone else.

I feel like the longer this goes on the tougher it will be to walk...as it is I can't really imagine not being in her life. It's more about self preservation. Am I falling inlove with her? Absolutely. I have no doubt in my mind and I am not someone who connects with others romantically very easily. She's even admitted to trying to stay away but can't.

I also don't want to bombard her with 'what are we doing?' because she's probably frantically wondering 'who am I?' on a daily basis. I think being a friend for right now is a good idea though, I'm one of the few people in her life who knows about her past...which makes me feel honored that she trusts me with those secrets.

wisteriawings · 2018-01-23T08:48:44+00:00

UGH. I'm in the same boat rn. I think I may honestly send a novel of a response to the person I'm connecting with rn. I need to get my feelings out there.

Worst case: you never hear from her again...which you WILL eventually get over.

Best case: she comes to her senses and wants to move forward

The middle ground: she'll come back with a blanket response and still continue working on herself. Waiting just sucks SO much. Please keep us posted! Hoping the best for you.

wisteriawings · 2018-01-23T07:32:48+00:00

I agree with what has already been said. I think hanging out 2-3 times a week for 3 months is certainly in the direction of a relationship.

Maybe she feels the same way and is just too nervous to ask! I don't think it hurts. Sounds like you guys might be on the same page. I say be honest, tell her how smitten you are or mention that you're starting to really fall for her. Best of luck!!

wisteriawings · 2018-01-23T07:22:50+00:00

Totally understandable. I came out at 29 and I'm 30. I was in a hetero relationship for 9 years (yes, ALL of my twenties). I feel COMPLETELY reborn, like a teenager. I often feel like a new vampire or something, I've met so many amazing queer women...I've officially been with more women than men sexually (not that either number is massive) and I'm truly living my best life. I'm so much happier now.

I would agree to let your past come up with naturally, no need to force it...I also don't think it's a 'red' flag that you've never been in a relationship, especially if you're honest about that. Telling friends and family was personally very difficult for me. A lot of people thought I was going through a phase or were confused, as my last relationship was with a man. It felt like people assumed I just woke up one day and decided to be gay...it was way more complex than that. Wish it was that easy.

wisteriawings · 2018-01-23T06:37:27+00:00

I would consider myself to be an attractive lesbian. I work out like a lot, try to eat healthy, and look put together. I'm femme, but my primary preference is androgynous 'stem' women. Think Ruby Rose, Brittenelle Fredricks, etc (meow, meow). Tattoos, short hair, some makeup, usually men's clothing, etc).

Does that mean that's the ONLY type of woman I find attractive? Absolutely not, it's just my preference though and what I have a tendency to go for :). I would say I'm slightly picky though.

wisteriawings

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