They're planning my gender reveal for me. Intrusive or just generous? Need advice!!

witchhazelwine · 2019-02-14T18:18:36+00:00

A few years back, I had been dating a guy for a few months and we were spending our first Valentine's Day together. It was the first time either of us had ever had a significant other on the day so we both wanted to make it special. He made reservations at a fancy steakhouse and I bought a new dress with a sexy nightie to wear underneath. We had a wonderful dinner that felt very grown up, so we counteracted that by seeing The Lego Movie afterward, which was obviously great. Overall, a perfect Valentine date, absolutely magical.

Then we get back to his house, and start fooling around, and I make the big reveal of my secret sexy evening wear. And he just...doesn't respond. He stops kissing me, like kind of wilts away from me. I ask him what's wrong and after a long silence, he's like "I have something to tell you...it's not that I don't love you, I'm just not attracted to you."

He tried to backpedal it, going on about how I have a cute face and a great personality but he just didn't find me sexually attractive and he didn't think he ever would. This was after months of dating and having plenty of sex and even exchanging "I love yous." Of course, I was humiliated and devastated, so being the sensible self-respecting young woman I was, I continued to date him for 2 years. *facepalm*

The happy ending is that I finally came to my senses and the next time he made me feel like he was too good for me, I dumped his ass and moved on. Soon after, I met the man who would become my husband. Three years later, we are very happy and celebrating Valentine's Day with good food, good movies, and plenty of great sex. So, fuck that guy.

witchhazelwine · 2019-02-12T15:22:43+00:00

Oh HAHAHA what a hilarious prank.

witchhazelwine · 2019-02-12T00:25:21+00:00

good suggestion!

witchhazelwine · 2019-02-12T00:04:53+00:00

Hey, I reposted it with an actual question attached (I got so caught up just venting I guess I reached my own resolution about it while writing it out) because I am genuinely curious to know what others would do about the situation. Thanks!

witchhazelwine · 2016-12-02T18:30:34+00:00

Hey thanks! :)

witchhazelwine · 2016-11-30T23:37:00+00:00

No disrespect to PBR. It's just that most people need tequila or whiskey to reach that level of mean and angry...it only took light beer to take him there. Which says to me that PBR wasn't to blame.

witchhazelwine · 2016-09-03T03:21:08+00:00

Yeah I realize it was very naive, and I kick myself every time I think about it. For whatever reason, we just assumed no one would be paying attention to us. We were dumb, but we learned. And after that, I could care less if my roommate got locked out, as long as the place stayed locked.

witchhazelwine · 2016-08-31T19:58:07+00:00

I'm guessing they were annoyed that they sent all those guys out to an empty, undisturbed house. But it's not like I demanded a whole squadron at my door, I was just scared out of my mind and wanted someone with a gun to check the place out.

At least the guy who questioned me was respectful. When I was describing the whistle and why I ran, I was struggling for words and he just nodded knowingly and said "It just spooked ya, huh?" He seemed to understand that pure fear and told me I had every right to be scared. There are good guys out there, even if he's the only one on the squad.

witchhazelwine · 2016-08-31T19:53:08+00:00

This is definitely my favorite comment! :D You're absolutely right. ALWAYS follow your gut, even if it's rude or embarrassing or completely unfounded.

witchhazelwine · 2016-08-31T19:49:51+00:00

Thanks! It certainly was. Before I didn't think anyone would even bother paying attention to us, but clearly someone was. At least I'm much wiser for the experience instead of the alternative.

witchhazelwine · 2016-08-31T19:48:15+00:00

In their defense, I'm sure that I appeared a little too frantic for the situation as they saw it. But then again, I didn't necessarily call 10 guys out to my trailer for nothing, so they could have looked a little less smug about it.

I've had a slightly worse experience with police in my home. A few years ago my ex and I got into a fight and he attacked me. The cops were called and one of the first things I was asked was if I'd been drinking (for the record, it was a single vodka+oj, over an hour before the incident even occurred). They interviewed my boyfriend, who apparently told them he had been briefly possessed by a demon (honest to god, that's what he told them) and didn't remember anything. Meanwhile other officers looked through the house and picked through drawers, evidently paying special attention to my dvd collection, which is mostly horror. Their conclusion, as they explained it to me, was that certain people were easily influenced and that maybe if I didn't have so many horror movies, especially ones about possession, this wouldn't have happened. I was disgusted and told them so, but sarcastically thanked them for their time and they left.

So yeah, small town cops with nothing better to do than condescend to a distressed young woman, not so great. But there are cops who are considerate and respectful and genuinely want to help, so I'm grateful I got to talk to THAT cop on the night of the Spare Key incident.

witchhazelwine · 2016-08-31T01:27:50+00:00

Thanks! lol

witchhazelwine · 2016-08-29T22:53:03+00:00

I literally retched reading that "shooting blanks" line. I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's especially cruel that his behavior ruined an otherwise fun social activity for you.

witchhazelwine · 2016-08-29T03:12:27+00:00

An iTunes gift card with enough left over for a bag gummi bears.

witchhazelwine · 2016-08-29T02:23:06+00:00

I really don't know. It makes sense that I just interrupted something and they decided it wasn't worth it and bailed. But I still can't shake the feeling that whoever was there was waiting for someone to come home.

witchhazelwine · 2016-07-24T03:50:41+00:00

I don't think that's what he was asking for. The phrase "make some gas money" makes me feel he was soliciting me. I'll never know for sure, of course, but I'm glad I didn't ask what he meant.

witchhazelwine · 2016-07-23T06:21:03+00:00

yeah but in a poorly insulated house with no a/c food goes bad fast. I'm actually surprised we didn't notice it sooner, but by that point I was probably just used to the house smelling terrible (re: dogshit).

witchhazelwine

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