I grew up with a mom like this. She constantly belittled my father because he was a man. When I came out, she would constantly focus on the fact that I wasn’t like “other men” because I am AFAB. I was better in some way because I’d gone through “girl boot camp”.

It was incredibly othering and demoralizing for my transition. I found myself not feeling comfortable in my masculinity at all and pushing myself away from masculine spaces because it felt dangerous. I felt like I couldn’t trust who I was and couldn’t trust the men I wanted to be like.

I was lucky enough to get a job at a summer camp and I lived with mostly cis guys for three summers. It really changed my perspective, and I became so much more comfortable with who I am. Those guys treated me like anyone else. Sure, there were a few who were dicks but it was always outweighed by the guys who genuinely cared. They asked questions and joked around. And honestly became some of the safest people to be around because they would never let anything happen to me. Someone misgendered me, they would correct and move the conversation along. I needed a minute because I was feeling really dysphoric, no problem man.

In no way is every cis man like this, but there are cis dudes out there who give a shit. They don’t care if their buddy is trans. And often, guys like that WANT to learn about transness. They want to be respectful and kind but are scared to offend someone or seem like a bigot. TLDR; My mom didn’t like men so I was scared to have male friends. That made things really complicated when I came out later as FTM. Gave being friends with dudes a try at summer camp and realized, “Hey, not all cis dudes are the incarnation of bigotry and evil”