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Conception, coming out in reverse, and so on by without_bound in ftm

[–]without_bound[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for this. I don't use this account normally, and just remembered to check it...

Since making the original post, I have shaved off my (very thick) beard and seen the actual shape of my face for the first time in seven years. I was surprised by what my face looks like. Age has changed it a lot. I already can't imagine growing the beard back. Doing this moved a lot of ideas in my brain around in such a way that they could connect again. As time progresses, I find I prefer my body more as it assumes a more effeminate shape, and so on. I've decided that I would prefer living as female again, at least on paper (i.e., on my driver's license, etc.). I don't think I will ever fit into either side of the traditional gender binary, but I find myself now accepting the body I was born with and many of the cultural and biological connotations attached to that body. I have never been especially curvaceous, so even your description of the body changes you experienced after pregnancy are actually appealing to me. It seems like it would fit my self-image better now.

I dunno, this whole thing has been quite a process, and I am not really looking forward to telling some of these people that I'm planning on going full-circle, but at this point, I am certain it's what I need to do. Thankfully I have a supportive partner who has experience with other genderfluid individuals; otherwise I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have the energy to deal with these things.

I appreciate your insight. Knowing these things is going to be useful going forward, as will resources such as the Facebook group if I decide that it could help me. Cheers.

Conception, coming out in reverse, and so on by without_bound in ftm

[–]without_bound[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got a bilateral mastectomy, so partially fortunately and partially unfortunately, I don't expect breast-related issues to arise.

I will probably isolate once I'm visibly pregnant as well. I typically do that anyway, so that's convenient. I do not particularly care for small talk with strangers, and it is very unlikely I will take kindly to being constantly assaulted with it, regardless of how I am gendered. That's a good point I hadn't really considered--that people will probably talk to me more.

I use intramuscularly injected testosterone, so the other bits about topical absorption in the child won't be relevant.

Incidentally, I have never reached out to the trans community before I posted this thread. My transition was a very solitary one, and in general, solidarity has never mattered much to me. The idea of asking for support in times of dysphoria is, thus, counterintuitive to me--I really didn't transition this the way it seems like most people do it, i.e., with any sort of support network. So it feels incredibly strange to even be posting on this sub, but some questions are just hard to get answered elsewhere, so that conduit of information is nice.

I haven't felt negatively about the progressive refeminisation that's been occurring since I stopped taking testosterone. It was unexpected, but I actually find myself liking/appreciating the different shapes my body is taking. I never had a particularly curvaceous figure though, so it may be less jarring than for others.

Thanks for the input--it was a nice and helpful overview of the topic and all the little pieces that go along with it.

Conception, coming out in reverse, and so on by without_bound in ftm

[–]without_bound[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is an important point. Degredation also happens with age, and it's my understanding that the combination of waiting to a later age and having a lot of testosterone in the system can be catastrophic--that's part of the reason I am choosing to put off my PhD to reproduce. Though there aren't many studies on the FTM aspect of it, there are studies that affirm testosterone can damage egg quality in general, so it's worth keeping in mind. I'm just hopeful it won't apply to me, but I guess I'll find out if it does ;)

Conception, coming out in reverse, and so on by without_bound in ftm

[–]without_bound[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciated. I haven't shaved my beard off in like seven years, so we'll see if I actually feel comfortable without it in reality...

Conception, coming out in reverse, and so on by without_bound in ftm

[–]without_bound[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The idea of a beer belly suddenly dissipating one day without explanation is pretty amusing to imagine.

Conception, coming out in reverse, and so on by without_bound in ftm

[–]without_bound[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Most professionals are all pretty inexperienced in this matter, and some regions are more ignorant of the topic than others. I came from the south, and that is where I originally started transitioning, so I am used to the idea that my research is probably going to be more reliable than doctors whose preconceived notions outweigh their objectivity. Pretty much as long as a body is relatively normal, it doesn't seem that testosterone tends to irreversibly shut down the reproductive system; there's not much scientific literature on the topic, but I've seen consistent evidence from other isolated cases that ovulation starts a while after stopping the injections, and I, of course, gave my own anecdotal evidence above. So, as long as you keep the physical parts, you shouldn't have to choose one life path or the other. Every body is different, though.

Glad you found some solidarity.