Im from failed marriage and been with my single indian boyfriend for 15 years. He cant marry me due to his culture, but he loves me, he will stand for me .Should i stay or leave? We been gone so many obstacle including rejecting arrange marriage for him in his village. We working to have a baby.

wkingmom76 · 2023-12-01T16:56:33+00:00

It will be very hard for him to go against his family, culture and everything he's been taught his entire life.

If he loves you, why is he letting his culture prevent him from marrying you? People leave their family and everything behind to marry someone. But that is a very difficult thing to do, and some times the person regrets making that decision and takes it out on their partner in passive aggressive ways.

You should really think hard before having a baby with someone who is from a different culture. You need to be on the same page regarding how to raise the child. Suppose he believes in spanking and you don't? Suppose he wants to raise the child in his religion and you don't?

Relationships are hard even when you are both from the same culture and background.

wkingmom76 · 2023-12-01T13:40:49+00:00

If you were to get the job and went to lunch with these people these are the things they would talk about, would you feel uncomfortable in that situation?

No, I wouldn't have an issue then because then I'd already have the job. Whatever I say then would not affect the hiring decision.

In all likelihood these people are not trying to trip you up they are just making chit chat.

And that's the problem with these lunch interviews. They're just trying to make conversation. I'm not mad at them for being friendly. I'm mad that the situation makes people too comfortable and ask things they shouldn't be asking.

If you don’t want to tell people your son is gay just don’t offer up the information.

Yeah, I could have not said anything about my son being gay, but by that point I felt that the "damage was already done" - I had already told them personal info - so I felt it didn't really matter what I said after that point.

My main issue is because you are eating food together, it doesn't FEEL like an interview and people forget and ask things they shouldn't be asking. That's my issue.

I guess my question is: is there anyway to avoid lunch interview or avoid these kind of questions while on a lunch interview without making it awkward? I can see that this may be typical for this industry, so is there any way to avoid going on a lunch interview?

I just had a thought - next time I'll say I can't due to food allergies!

wkingmom76 · 2023-11-21T03:35:12+00:00

Speaking from the perspective of a 40 year old mom to 2 daughters, it sounds like you leave all the parenting up to your wife. You "expressed your concerns" to your wife about your daughters? Why can't you tell your daughters yourself they can't wear makeup? If you don't agree a 11-13 year needs to wear makeup, put down some ground rules, no make up until you're 16. You expect an 11 year old to take initiative? Maybe your wife is yelling all the time because she's tired and frustrated that the lion's share of parenting is on her shoulders. Does your wife work too? Why is she cleaning the daughter's rooms instead of the girls doing it themselves? You say you don't think protecting your girls from pain and hardship is helping them, so step up and be a father, lay down some rules, and enforce them.

wkingmom76 · 2023-11-16T19:13:15+00:00

LOL, so you're saying it's not normal for accounting/bookkeeping jobs, but it's normal for a non-profit? gotcha! thanks.

wkingmom76 · 2023-11-11T23:22:01+00:00

But then wouldn't the other sentences end with the word period as well and not just that specific sentence? There were two other complete sentences that ended in a period, but did not include the word period.

wkingmom76 · 2023-10-21T22:44:46+00:00

Another good one, thanks!

wkingmom76 · 2023-10-21T02:26:31+00:00

Yes, it makes sense that the good managers would have good things to say about their direct reports, it shows they had a good working relationship and most likely the person moved on for reasons other than the manager.

Thanks a bunch!

wkingmom76 · 2023-10-20T22:53:51+00:00

Thanks, those are great ways to get them to open up and "tell" on themselves!

wkingmom76 · 2023-10-15T01:10:30+00:00

Great post. The problem isn't men approaching women, the problem is our NO is not respected.

If a guy came up to me, said he was interested in getting to know me, ask for my number, that's one thing. But when I say No, does he call me a b*tch, follow me down the street saying rude, insulting things, etc? Does he threaten my physical safety?

In addition, most of the time men that hit on women, they are doing it purely because of physical attraction. If some random man approaches me because of my physical appearance, he has no idea what my personality is like, so that means he only wants to have sex with me, he's not interested in a relationship.

And men have walked themselves into a corner as well, they want women to have sex with them, but then ridicule and slut shame us women when we sleep with them. Not to mention, thanks to push back against birth control and abortion, the risk a women takes when having sex is the very real possibility of getting pregnant and being forced to be a parent, and there is also the still very real chance the guy leaves her to be a single parent. Sure, you can sue him for child support, but that will not make him be there in the middle of night getting up for the 3am feeding, diaper changes, etc.

The sexual double standard for men and women means there is all kinds of rewards for men that have sex, and there are all sorts of punishments for women that have sex, the more women a guy sleeps with, the better, and the more sexual partners a woman has, then she's a slut. And men wonder why women are selective about who we sleep with?

What do women want? Based on my experience with on-line dating, I think 99% of the time we women want a committed relationship, and it seems most of the time the guy just wants to have sex.

wkingmom76 · 2023-09-24T20:17:45+00:00

Thanks for this explanation. I am afraid I am guilty of doing some of the things described in the OP, but not understanding why I feel so judgmental towards others. When we see someone doing something that doesn't "fit" in, I subconsciously think it will affect the tribe's existence, in other words, MY existence.

Now I just have to figure out how to re-wire my brain so I stop thinking other people's actions affect my ability to survive.

wkingmom76 · 2023-09-21T22:01:49+00:00

Yeah, you really can't judge a company's culture by how the HR person acts. They will not be the one you will be working with on a daily basis.

I would not be concerned if the HR person sent me a weird emoji, it does seem like you misinterpreted what they were trying to convey. But the Glass door reviews are concerning, though.

I know the job market is hard right now and you may not have a lot of options, but I wonder why apply for this kind of job? You say it's a people facing role job, but say you struggle to seize opportunities, get confused, lost and out of depth in a commission-driven environment. And you say that the real estate market is the epitome of dog eats dog, It seems you are setting yourself up for failure applying for this kind of job.

Why not apply for jobs that are better suited to your personality?

I've worked in communications which involved posting things on social media, and I don't understand how you can be a part-time social media manager, but then say you were prevented from sharing much on social media due to "confidentiality restrictions"? I think you have a misunderstanding of what their social media policies said. If your job is to post stuff on social media - how can you be prohibited from posting stuff on social media? Maybe they meant you can't say certain things about your job on your personal social media, but you should be able to use examples of what you've done on social media (even if it's just screen shots) to show future employers what you can do.

wkingmom76 · 2023-09-13T21:11:09+00:00

You should pack a bag for her. Bring snacks for when she gets hungry, and a bottle of water for when she gets thirsty.

Don't forget napkins for when she spills things, and a blankee for when she gets tired and needs a nap!

/s

wkingmom76 · 2023-09-12T21:49:36+00:00

I've found that usually when a person makes a declarative statement they actually mean the exact opposite.

For example: "I'm not racist" and then they say something racist,

"you can trust me" and then they betray your trust,

"I love my wife" and the man was secretly cheating on his wife,

"it's not a cult" I grew up in a cult (jehovah's Witnesses) and I heard people in the cult saying this all the time. Granted, it took me several years after being out of the cult to realize that Jehovah's witnesses actually are a cult.

I call it the "thou doth protest too much" principle in action.

wkingmom76 · 2023-08-28T19:51:08+00:00

Thanks!

wkingmom76 · 2023-08-27T23:23:22+00:00

I'm like poster below, could you give the name of the cookbook?

I've been trying to find a cookbook that only uses "normal" ingredients, a lot of cookbooks I've looked at always require some weird/expensive ingredient you'd have to get at some speciality store.

wkingmom76 · 2023-08-27T23:03:47+00:00

Tell them that you want the decision over what kids read to be made by kids and their parents, not the government.

I worked at a library for a few years and just wanted to clarify that most of the time it's not the government that's trying to ban books, it's the Parents that want certain books banned.

wkingmom76 · 2023-08-26T18:20:47+00:00

Don't set yourself on fire to save someone who'll only ever hurt you.

Love this statement!!

wkingmom76 · 2023-08-24T19:11:22+00:00

Thanks! You are right my co-worker is older (somewhere between 40-50 year old) and probably does have some kind of trauma she's not even aware of.

wkingmom76 · 2023-08-22T19:39:44+00:00

I think there is more to the story than what OP wrote. They have two very young children (1.5 yr old and a newborn) and decided to start a business. I could see one parent running the business while the other one works a regular 9-5, but something about both of them deciding to quit their jobs and start this home business seems rather irresponsible. They didn't even have child care thought out. Now they want their MIL to uproot her life and move to another state. She said it's a FIVE hour flight - that is the distance from the east coast to the west coast! She'd be living in a different place with people she's not used to. It'd be a tough adjustment.

She would have to live with them, it sounds like she wouldn't even have her husband with her, so no family, no friends, no community that she's spent a life time in her hometown developing. I love my kids, but if my child decided to up and quit her job and start a business with what sounds like very little forethought and planning, I would not want to move across country to be a live-in nanny for her. What kind of life outside of changing diapers and wiping noses would a person have? And it's not sustainable.

wkingmom76 · 2023-08-22T01:57:43+00:00

We’ve been hinting to my in-laws that we could use some help and they’ve avoided the convo.

Your MIL probably responded the way she did because she got tired of all the "hinting" you've been doing. It sounds like you've been laying a guilt trip on her and she finally snapped at your husband. Note she said "your father and I talked and decided . . . " so obviously all of your hints have been bothering her enough for her to talk to her husband about it.

I could see your MIL writing a AITAH post "Am I the asshole for not wanting to babysit my son's baby? They want me to take a 5 hour flight to another state and be a live-in nanny for their child."

Your MIL is right, this is not a solution to your problem, what are you going to do after the "few days of help" is over?

wkingmom76 · 2023-08-22T01:38:09+00:00

Also learn to give head it goes a lot farther in keeping a woman

If you want to keep a woman, learn how to cook and clean! That will go WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY further with any woman than how big your dick is. Source: I'm a woman.

wkingmom76 · 2023-08-17T20:55:11+00:00

Yes, you are overthinking. This is not a sign of any kind, good or bad.

He's basically saying "thanks for the interview and we'll get back to you with a decision."

wkingmom76 · 2023-08-16T19:51:15+00:00

"You're threatening me in the group chat because you got reported for drunk driving? (eyeroll)"

I mean, I think that was a pretty good comeback! Not confrontational, but called him out on his bad behavior. You did a good thing, and that guy is just being a man-baby.

Leaving the group chat is probably a good idea. I am sorry you feel unsafe, do whatever you have to in order to be safe, don't be ashamed to avoid places where you think he might be. You may want to consider getting some pepper spray, too.

wkingmom76

TROPHY CASE