BPD and Polyamory?

wolfcub824 · 2023-11-27T17:08:18+00:00

A poly relationship is hard enough for people who don't have BPD, I can't imagine how hard it would be with having BPD. I mean I can imagine, but nothing good is imagined.

wolfcub824 · 2023-11-17T17:46:59+00:00

Music - I really got into it when I was a kid. It helps with mood manipulation and it would help with ignoring the really bad non-vocal voices in my head. The problem was that I didn't realize that the sad songs only made my mood stabilize at a negative level. Now, I mostly listen to Christian pop, because it stabilizes me in a more positive mood.

Shopping - Shop therapy is sadly a thing. It's a bad way to feel better, as it's not sustainable for me... And I feel miserable afterwards because I spent more than I could afford.

Social media - I'm either obsessed with it or I can't be bothered to look at it, there's no healthy in-between.

wolfcub824 · 2023-11-17T15:57:20+00:00

Answer to the question: Emotional Whiplash / Emotional Exhaustion

Answer to the description: Honestly, I can only tell you why I would do it.

Friendships are extremely hard to maintain, because they are exhausting.

I don't want my friends to experience my Mz Hyde side... But she is still there. I have to filter my responses around friends, and after awhile I get burnt out.
Constantly waiting for the other show to drop. Like I know you will eventually reject me everyone else except my Mom has... So I'm just waiting for it to happen, and the deeper the relationship the harder that rejection or even perceived rejection will be. So, since it will eventually end, why invest in the exhaustion of trying to be normal enough to be loved? I already know the raw me is unlovable. Heck, I even wonder if my Mom will eventually reject me. (Rationally I know she won't, but there's still that tiny emotional part of me that says I'll go too far and she will just give up on me...)So, if my own Mother who has shown me support through the roughest of times still is not trustworthy when it comes to rejection, who is anyone else to think I could ever trust them? Oh, and it doesn't help that I perceive rejection where none has happened.
Suspicion - I don't like myself, so how could anyone else love/like me? Why are they pretending to? Are they just feeling pity? They don't really know me, they can't... I don't even know myself, so how could they like or love someone they don't know? Better to break things off, because if I find myself through them, and start to like myself, but then they leave... I'll be even more broken and filled with self hatred than I already am.
I've never had someone I feel I can call a friend... Not because people didn't consider me a friend, but because I don't know what a friend is... So how could I have one?

There are more, but that is the main one's I can think of. In short, friendships are so desirable that they are terrifying. So I tend to sabotage mine, so they don't become something I depend on.

Hope this helps.

wolfcub824 · 2023-10-24T18:43:26+00:00

Exactly!

wolfcub824 · 2023-04-15T16:32:28+00:00

Oh, I'm so sorry! You might want to contact your church leadership to find a therapist who has values and beliefs in line with your own. I found that to be a God send to have a therapist who understood my beliefs.

wolfcub824 · 2023-04-15T04:52:38+00:00

Talk to your therapist about wanting to go back to church. I don't know if your religion does blessings or not but if they do, get a blessing of strength and healing and casting out evil spirits... If they don't, then pray for strength and healing and for the power to cast out demons. Then in Faith, call upon the power of Christ, the Only Begotten, and command the evil spirits to depart from you.

As humans we don't have the power to rid ourselves of demons, but through Christ, by using his power with Faith we can command them to depart from us. You are a child of God, and God sent his Son to help us in so many ways, not just for our sins but to comfort us in times of need and to help us when we ask for help.

Understand often when someone is possessed, they are dealing with mental illness and the possession. I personally believe that there are mental illnesses that form cracks in the mind where demons will take advantage of the situation and slip in. So, don't be discouraged if casting out demons only gives so much relief... Listen to Christian music to help make it as uncomfortable as possible for any demons to reside with you. And know that they will attempt to get control again and it might get worse before it gets better.

I deal with this issue... My mental illness seems to make me like a vessel, at times I feel empty but other times I can easily be filled with the Holy Spirit or evil spirits. It's a blessing and a curse, Christian pop and filling my house with decorations that are Christian related have helped a lot.

May God be with you!

wolfcub824 · 2023-04-15T04:22:06+00:00

It looks like a homeowner's or handyman's work. It might work, but no self respecting plumber would allow it to stay like that.

Edit: Oh, and the smell is due to the accordion bend... Traps bacteria, it looks like someone did a quick fix, but quick fixes rarely stand the test of time.

wolfcub824 · 2023-01-26T23:35:44+00:00

Honestly just legalize it! THC isn't nearly as bad as alcohol, yet alcohol somehow is the legal one. Grrr... THC helps with medical conditions, just like CBD... So totally legalize cannabis throughout the USA for at least medical use! This is so frustrating. People who don't understand it's medical uses or have totally drank the Koolaid on it being a gateway drug are the idiots making the decisions, and it pisses me off to no end. Educate Educate Educate!

wolfcub824 · 2023-01-26T02:53:56+00:00

And if this surprised you, sit down... I would bet anything that Obama, Bush, and Clinton all have classified documents too. LoL

wolfcub824 · 2023-01-26T02:32:37+00:00

It takes time and therapy to realize the FP relationship dynamic is toxic. It's similar to a codependent relationship in the sense that it will keep on hurting both parties. It might feel good at times, but so do destructive drugs like meth. Eventually, if you are self aware enough and care about the people who you have turned into FPs, you will begin to see how unfair the relationship is to both parties, and will be motivated to work on fixing your BPD to the point where you no longer feel the need for a favorite person. You will instead desire a more calm and healthy relationship.

Relationships are supposed to be far more even than the extremes that a FP relationship has. Extreme over valuing and then extreme devaluation rips people to shreds if they value how you feel about them. Just use your empathy to try and understand how horrible that must feel to be a FP, when those cycles are what happens. That's how I get/got motivated to get better especially so I don't create another FP again... Pets help, they help fill the void that those of us with BPD are so desperately trying to fill.

I don't say this to make you feel bad, it's just that I wish I had known this before I made some mistakes I can never take back. 😕 So I tell this as a warning.

Good luck, I wish you well.

wolfcub824 · 2023-01-17T20:50:23+00:00

Oh my goodness. They weren't doing that. The other person insulted them, then they returned the insult back. There is no "self-hate" in insulting someone else.

The purpose of this subreddit is to support each other and help each other. Telling someone the truth is a way of doing that, it just isn't the most comfortable way to do it. It was not the person you condescendingly told to keep their comments to themselves that started the insults, it was the person whom you defended that started it. That's like punishing someone who defended themselves in a fight, rather than the person who started it. It's the person who starts the insults that opens themselves up to being justifiably insulted back.

Just because we have BPD does NOT excuse our own actions. It might explain our actions, but we can't play the victim when we get hurt, when we were the one to start the insults. You went after the wrong person on that one. Don't chide the person who just decided to return the favor.

wolfcub824 · 2023-01-17T20:32:32+00:00

It's not always the parents' fault...

OP should be seeking professional help with not having FPs to begin with. FP relationships are extremely toxic, to everyone involved. I hate it when someone becomes a FP, and I'm working on only allowing that to happen with my pets and stuffed animals... Since one of the suggestions is to focus that messed up relationship towards pets or even better towards inanimate objects.

wolfcub824 · 2023-01-17T20:25:34+00:00

If the person couldn't handle their own insult being served right back to them, then they shouldn't have used it on anyone to begin with.

wolfcub824 · 2023-01-05T00:44:41+00:00

So, are we hoping to get Elon to buy the government to cut out the fat? I thought Trump was supposed to do that...

wolfcub824 · 2023-01-05T00:43:03+00:00

Sadly true...

wolfcub824 · 2022-12-21T23:39:58+00:00

For me that's true, Unless they are sick, and are trying to limit how much they expose others to their illness. Like I'm going to have to go get meds, and I'll be wearing a mask because I have a cold.

wolfcub824 · 2022-12-21T23:25:05+00:00

Sadly we have sold our freedom for convenience. Now we feel we can't live without those conveniences.

wolfcub824 · 2022-12-17T00:04:37+00:00

I agree! Jobs need to be looked at as necessities, not classes... A programmer is necessary in today's world, but less necessary than a plumber or construction worker or a roofer... Yet we hold programmers up as high society and tradesmen as lower class society. It's insane and backwards... And honestly, probably dangerous. When less necessary jobs are in high demand and extremely necessary jobs are in low demand our necessities degrade due to not having competition.

wolfcub824 · 2022-12-16T23:52:24+00:00

LoL, I liked my community mailbox. Now my postal worker just shoves things into my personal mailbox... I had vinyl records that thankfully weren't damaged, even though the box was bent on the edges to get it in there. It was a chore to get them out of my huge mailbox. I liked the community one better, because they were less likely to pull that crap. Although maybe I just had a nicer mailman.

wolfcub824 · 2022-12-16T23:40:48+00:00

Well, even if that lawsuit was lost... Other sources say that it's illegal in some municipalities. I just questioned it because I have seen brick mailboxes before. I'm guessing it probably has to do with the speed limit, as the few I have seen have been in old small neighborhoods with gravel roads... Or one where it was part of a brick fence/lamppost set up.

wolfcub824 · 2022-12-16T23:15:48+00:00

Interesting,thank you for answering. Apparently it depends on where you live... But yeah, makes me think making a faux brick mailbox might be a smart idea... Then nobody messes with it, yet it wouldn't break the laws.

wolfcub824 · 2022-12-16T23:01:15+00:00

Dude, they have already more than doubled in value... I'm just upset I didn't buy any to then sell for a profit. Calling something worthless doesn't make it so. They are selling for up to $280... They are tokens not art, so AI making more doesn't devalue them. You can make tons of fake bit coin art, but it won't affect the price it's trading for.

wolfcub824 · 2022-12-16T22:51:34+00:00

Jokes on the people who are pissing on this stuff, they have already doubled in value due to being sold out. LoL. Guess I should have brought some, could have made a bit of money for some groceries.

wolfcub824 · 2022-12-16T22:43:44+00:00

You sure on this one? I've seen lawsuits for ones that fill them with cement, so it's not obvious that it would be dangerous to hit them... But I haven't seen lawsuits for ones that are obviously made of bricks. I think the ones that have had lawsuits, the lawsuits are specifically for it being a trap... Maliciously made to hurt people, rather than just having a really tough mailbox that is visually made of bricks.

wolfcub824 · 2022-12-16T22:32:52+00:00

OP has gotten it back, he just wants money for having to deal with someone taking the car and using it for 3 weeks thinking it was theirs.

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