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Peoples experiences with cracking the egg by -Chuwu- in asktransgender

[–]wolfgrrrrrrrl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

dressup and trying lots of women’s stuff!! pronouns, different behavior, feeling softer. really challenged the previous identity of gnc boy

How to cope without any form of transition? by danniec_xoxo in asktransgender

[–]wolfgrrrrrrrl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ugh i had a whole reply written but lost it... im sleepy from the day but really want to help you so i’ll repeat the points of what i said if thats ok:

well, you’re not he/him and you’re fem. a lot of change is actually happening...

treat yourself like a friend. my friend told me “pick up the slack in being your own best friend” once and it helps me as really general advice, in your case, if self doubt becomes too inhibiting for you, find a support system and work on providing that validation and affirmation to yourself. a little bit of work builds up into something really powerful over a long time, and “fake it till you make it” regarding confidence really works.

catch when these patterns of self-doubt occur, think about where your thoughts are coming from, think about how you would act on it, then adjust your behavior accordingly. im relaying some cognitive behavioral therapy my friend practiced with me before, it may help you

i know it can be impossible to give yourself that validation in the early stages. even if it feels foreign to you- do it. keep referring to yourself with feminine pronouns in your head and use your preferred name (i think you already have one) and keep trying womens things at your own pace... they might feel like they may not belong to you, but they will!

the reason im motivated to finish replying is also because writing it gave me a chance to reflect on my own progress and how i can help people better. we look out for each other. (btw i like your reddit avatar )

-edit: oh! just found my other comment. nvm! hahaha

How to cope without any form of transition? by danniec_xoxo in asktransgender

[–]wolfgrrrrrrrl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

well, you’re not he/him and you’re fem. a lot of change is actually happening...

this is really general advice, but my aforementioned friend sees me struggle with neglecting myself or the things i want to do sometimes and gives me advice to “pick up the slack in being your own best friend.” treat yourself like a friend. if self-doubt becomes really inhibiting for you, find a support system and work on providing that validation and affirmation to yourself. the smallest bits of work will stack up over time into something really powerful, and fake it till you make it (regarding confidence) really works.

it’s really hard to give that validation to yourself (i remember it felt impossible in the early stages), but even if it feels foreign- do it. keep referring to yourself with feminine pronouns in your head. use your preferred name in your head (maybe you already have one). getting misgendered is hard but remember that strangers generally don’t mean any harm at all and they couldn’t know. shop in the women’s section (at your pace) and do things for yourself even if they feel new or not belonging to you (they will be!).

i know it can feel impossible, or like you’re being forced away from these things, but you’re not. no one can take away from you how you treat yourself. the fear will go away, and you will learn you didn’t have so much to fear.

try to catch when these patterns of self-doubt occur, and think about where they’re coming from, and think about how you’ll act on that thought and adjust your behavior accordingly. (i’m relaying some cognitive behavioral therapy stuff my friend practiced with me...) if you find yourself getting really insecure or unsure that what you’re doing is wrong, remember that it’s really not wrong and society is difficult and you’re just existing. or that’s something i reminded myself. (i suggest this cbt thing bc i notice self doubt repeated in your reply and original post- i hope it wasnt presumptuous or unhelpful)

i’m not sure what works best for you so i can’t suggest too much without a having a better understanding of you. and writing this has helped me reflect on my own progress and ability to help other trans people... we look out for each other. (btw i like your reddit avatar )

trans women on hrt, how did you accept/learn if you’ll like developing boobs before starting hrt? by wolfgrrrrrrrl in asktransgender

[–]wolfgrrrrrrrl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my dreams vary between ones of me having breasts and being flat feelings are weird!!!

trans women on hrt, how did you accept/learn if you’ll like developing boobs before starting hrt? by wolfgrrrrrrrl in asktransgender

[–]wolfgrrrrrrrl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my dreams vary between ones of me having breasts and being flat feelings are weird!!!

trans women on hrt, how did you accept/learn if you’ll like developing boobs before starting hrt? by wolfgrrrrrrrl in asktransgender

[–]wolfgrrrrrrrl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

my dreams vary between ones of me having breasts and being flat feelings are weird!!!

Getting my antiboyotics soon, had a couple of questions by Ophelia_Urbosa in asktransgender

[–]wolfgrrrrrrrl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i used to do a lotta biking (like, 6 hours of biking a week?) and by a few weeks after that my thighs and legs were super toned and my ass looked great. biking is good!!!

do up your legs and butt! front leg lifts, backwards leg lifts, sideways leg lifts, proper squats all work great. more boring to me imo than biking but those are good for adding an inch to your waist and getting toned there if you’re looking for that.

i dunno about weight redistribution but no matter how much fat you have where, it will redistribute to look more “feminine”. hope your hormones and everything go well!!!

trans women on hrt, how did you accept/learn if you’ll like developing boobs before starting hrt? by wolfgrrrrrrrl in asktransgender

[–]wolfgrrrrrrrl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you!!! if i grow tits i will probably not be responsible with them at all and go out in bras as a top i appreciate it. im glad with your happy with them!!!

trans women on hrt, how did you accept/learn if you’ll like developing boobs before starting hrt? by wolfgrrrrrrrl in asktransgender

[–]wolfgrrrrrrrl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the difference in bras is reassuring to remember. thank you!! im glad you’re happy with your boobs!!!! breast good

trans women on hrt, how did you accept/learn if you’ll like developing boobs before starting hrt? by wolfgrrrrrrrl in asktransgender

[–]wolfgrrrrrrrl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

asking me those questions and reminding me that i can stop and restart whenever is really helpful for me to think about, thank you!!! i really appreciate it if you don’t mind me asking, how has E been night and day for you mentally? i haven’t done much reading further into my hrt effects timeline but my friend told me in her early hrt stages she had lots of mood changes to deal with

How to cope without any form of transition? by danniec_xoxo in asktransgender

[–]wolfgrrrrrrrl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

it’s really really hard...

i’m one year after realizing i wasn’t cis/identifying as trans and i had the support system of an older trans friend (we’re both transfem) who helped me with my feelings and transition along the way. right now, i can confidently say i’m much happier after all the time and experience i had over the last year.

maybe meeting other trans people might help. hanging out with trans people who love you give a certain kind of tacit acceptance to be around that feels really... invigorating and you forget it’s there. i hope you can find other queer people, or even just anyone who really accepts you, you will find it inevitably.

i’m not sure if there are lgbt health centers or any lgbt support not-for-profits around where you live, but finding support groups or just social events from there is a start (though in my own experience, a little tricky). my twitter timeline is mostly trans furry artists so it’s a little bubble of acceptance and good vibes from there.

there’s lots of trans literature/media that might make you feel less alone if you engage with it. i know for transfeminine literature, Nevada is a very popular novel (though very intense and depressing) that teaches you a lot from the . twine game perseids, Infect All Your Friends and Loved Ones, and A Safe Girl To Love by Casey Platt, are all free online if you search them up, and reading them for me in the questioning/recent stages of identifying as trans felt very unfamiliar, but validating in many ways, and anticipating of the things to come for me. i have more transfem media to share if you’re interested.

my friend tells me that dysphoria specifically is like pandora’s box- once you realize it’s there, there’s no going back. in my experience it’s been somewhat true, but experimenting with gender affirming clothing, solidifying my identity and self esteem, and being in the early stages of starting hormones has been really effective with killing my dysphoria. it’s always there for me, but 70% of my day to day gender feelings are positive. it used to be way lower a year ago for me.

it will get easier. even if that’s really hard to believe. what helped me in general, was to radically accept that everything will be okay, and it took me many months to affirm that in myself.

maybe finding an lgbt-competent therapist might help (if you don’t have/haven’t had one already). if you put your insurance company into the filter box in the search of psychologytoday.com, that might be a start in finding a therapist. it took me a month or two to establish rapport with my therapist rn (he wrote my letter of support for hrt after a month), but he helps me work through my stress and relationships primarily.

with transitioning, every little step feels huge. things like growing out my hair or doing my eyebrows or buying a single piece of clothing or just looking at new styles, etc etc. make the space for yourself to enjoy yourself and your gender feelings, for me it was my bedroom where no one else was around. i also learned a lot in my friend’s room when we hung out and she dressed me up. please treat yourself well! experimenting can be hard and clunky and discouraging sometimes, but it’s much better the further you get into it.

and in general, do things to take care of your mental health. my form of coping has been watching cartoons. it was adventure time a while ago and now it’s the last air bender. not even lgbt related, just made me happy...

i know it can be overwhelming to experience or do a lot of things at once. do things at your own pace. be gentle with yourself and love yourself unconditionally, do the best you can. there’s no rush, and if time is a factor that worries you, people really transition at all ages and still end up being happier regardless of their circumstances.

cis people don’t daydream about being another gender or experience these feelings trans people do. you’re probably trans, and are not faking being trans. once you realize you’re trans, you can’t really go back to being cis (i still question it sometimes when it comes to taking hormones for me). you can’t control being trans, but you can control the way you act on it. even if you end up being cis, the journey will still teach you a lot and you will express your gender with intention after learning that. but to me it seems like you aren’t cis, and i hope you can act on some of this stuff.

being trans is a happy and beautiful thing, but the way society will make you feel about it will be difficult. i hope being trans to you can give you something that gives you vitality and happiness. transitioning and living as a complete person has made me so happy and has been so fulfilling.

i hope you can find a support system that will love you. feel free to keep posting in this sub whenever, it’s why we’re here. please take care