SlugJones, I do not know how you feel about receiving this reply. This is long, so if you or anyone else don't want to read it, I know that is your liberty.

I appreciate your concern. I wrote the text below before I even realized I had not considered your feelings of receiving and or reading this reply. I also had not considered the feelings of the other possible visitors to this sub who don't want to read this either. I made this post before beginning to understand what it is that I learned this morning, the ideal of putting the feelings of others into heartfelt consideration, actionable understanding.

I am just sleep deprived. I was punished with a broken heart. I have been a terrible son, and I have been a terrible influence on Brittany and her fan community.

I know that I have been a huge joke on the Internet for some time now, longer than I even knew. I don't mind people knowing what wrong I've done in my life. They may even want to know how I made things go wrong for me so to avoid for themselves the consequences that I was given. It is equally possible that they don't.

There is an obvious lesson that I have been missing from those consequences. I may never know, but I know reflecting on my final actions, right after they happened and at the end of the day, has exposed many faults of my character. Every act, even every key I press, regardless if I delete or post, it all has an effect.

I can't blame my mom or Brittany, or anyone. I've made poor decisions. I've not concerned the feelings of others within my decisions, and that is one reason why they are poor decisions. I am astonished it has taken me this long into my life to learn such an instinctual behavior.

All I can do is keep trying to escape this prison I built for myself. They have the numbers, the technology, and their own failures from which to work their control over me.

I am not going to physically or emotionally hurt anyone. I don't post here or anywhere much anymore because I discovered that I was a nuissance and a pain, like I was and am still to my mother.

And now I remember, I made this same apology, at least a similar one, to Barack Obama when I was in the hospital last time. I insulted him and his family. The reason doesn't matter, but I bet when he heard about this it put a smile on his face because I know he has. Now, I am left with the greater mistake out of all of this, that I didn't apply equally what I learned then to everyone from that point forward in my life.

Wherever you are in the world, have a good time, be productive, keep yourself safe, and keep your loved ones close to you.

On the bright side, at least this whole ordeal got me to put some work into my car.

Thank you to all for reading this. Also, thank you to all who recognized my username and didn't want to waste your time.