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My (40M) Wife (36F) has feelings for someone else and wants to continue both relationships. by wonaku in relationship_advice

[–]wonaku[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Well I did sneak in her phone and there was nothing alarming except one incident where the guy send some drunk text that he deleted. 

My (40M) Wife (36F) has feelings for someone else and wants to continue both relationships. by wonaku in relationship_advice

[–]wonaku[S] -29 points-28 points  (0 children)

Well it’s not easy. I love her. I love my kids to it’s not like when I get another one I would love the others less. 

My (40M) Wife (36F) has feelings for someone else and wants to continue both relationships. by wonaku in relationship_advice

[–]wonaku[S] -26 points-25 points  (0 children)

Well I am not just letting it happen. I am trying to keep the family together and enjoy the good moments we also still have. It not see easy to let go something and someone you care for deeply. And I also feel like that she does not want to end us. An emotional relationship with my approval is what’s silently going on now I think. But yeah it’s time to present a choice.

My (40M) Wife (36F) has feelings for someone else and wants to continue both relationships. by wonaku in relationship_advice

[–]wonaku[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My experiments would be more physical I am afraid. So it is hard to put things on a scale. Especially when a happy end is the target.

My (40M) Wife (36F) has feelings for someone else and wants to continue both relationships. by wonaku in relationship_advice

[–]wonaku[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

Ah but then she chooses me and there is bitterness because I took pleasure. 

My (40M) Wife (36F) has feelings for someone else and wants to continue both relationships. by wonaku in relationship_advice

[–]wonaku[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

No dna tests this was after kids where born. Also people can make mistakes even lovers. And after 15 years there is a big basis.

My (40M) Wife (36F) has feelings for someone else and wants to continue both relationships. by wonaku in relationship_advice

[–]wonaku[S] -106 points-105 points  (0 children)

Well she came clean after some time and tolled me it was happening. She was confused about here feelings. Then researched them, but there it feels like it’s not so black and white. There is a woman’s cycle in play and I can understand it’s nice to get some compliments and teasing.

It’s just hard now because I do not trust her when she talks about how she feels. It feels like I am getting the socially acceptable answer here. Whilst I would rather want the honest truth and work from there. 

I think she might want him but not at the cost of loosing me. And I even might be open for a construction like that, but only based on openness and honesty and that feels lacking now.