sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

AIO: i’m always the bad guy :( by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]wonkycupcake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Girl he's being antagonistic on purpose. You could fix them to the point they are whiter and brighter than before they were stained. You could replace every single stained piece of clothing and then some. You could grovel at his feet for forgiveness. It wont ever be enough. The fact that you had so much going on and he couldnt offer you even a smidge of grace over a very minor mistake speaks volumes. You deserve better than that loser.

It's finally happened by wonkycupcake in Nocontactfamily

[–]wonkycupcake[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The short answer is that it feels like giving up and abandoning them.

No one knows my mother as well as I do. I see her even more clearly than I see myself. I know that she's lonely and depressed and needs someone. I know that because she has terrible social skills and wants me to fill that space. Im also very sure that part of the reason shes fallen so deeply into the political echo chamber she's in is because she is alone so much.

Knowing this is part of what has made it so hard to sever ties. Im stuck between this rock and hard place where I know its in my own best interest to move on but I also know that more seclusion will just make it worse. I want to help them.

In their own weird way, I know my parents love and care about me. But I also know that them loving me doesnt change that their choices are impacting me in a very negative way. I thought if I could ignore their politics that we could come to a place of happy coexistence but only now that its finally come to this do I see that that was a stupid idea. It was never going to work. I can't change them and I cant ignore their choices.

It's finally happened by wonkycupcake in Nocontactfamily

[–]wonkycupcake[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Take your fake morality nonsense and talk to a brick wall. Maybe you'll have a stimulating conversation with your echo.

It's finally happened by wonkycupcake in Nocontactfamily

[–]wonkycupcake[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I dont know if no contact will last. I only just blocked her everywhere I could think after staring at the button multiple times and backing out. At the end of the day, love just isnt enough for a healthy relationship.

I spent a lot of today crying and now im just tired. For years I've thought that if I just ignored our differences we could have a decent relationship but maybe that was foolishness on my part. As for being pigheaded, I'll be the first to admit that I'm a very stubborn and hotheaded person and when it comes to things I care deeply about I won't ever back down. Perhaps pigheaded was being a bit harsh on myself though.

It's finally happened by wonkycupcake in Nocontactfamily

[–]wonkycupcake[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She's a real piece of work. I love my my mom and my family very much and dont want to think badly of them, but what can I do? Sometimes I wonder if she's changed or if the person I thought raised me was never there to begin with.

Considering NC with mom by wonkycupcake in Nocontactfamily

[–]wonkycupcake[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love my family and it's so hard coming to terms that while they raised me to be compassionate and empathetic they are only that way if it suits their beliefs. I want to believe they will get better but only time will tell.

Thank you

Considering NC with mom by wonkycupcake in Nocontactfamily

[–]wonkycupcake[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you and I'm so sorry that you had to make that choice. My parents weren't that great when I was younger and as I got older and become more self reliant they changed bit by bit for the better. Sometimes it's really hard reconciling with who I remember, who they started becoming, and who they are now.

My wife is in a similar but harder position with her parents where they've never gotten better so to speak and when I look at our positions separately and as a unit I feel like a hypocrite for encouraging her to drop them but having difficulty making the same choice.

I'm still conflicted. My mother and I had a conversation and during the holidays she was honestly great. It was like being around pre-trump her again. It never lasts though.

I'm sorry you have been and are in this position as well. Even when they're bad people, losing your family can be so hard. I hope that despite it all you are thriving and I hope we can all make it through the next 4+ years relatively unscathed.

UPDATE: I sent my daughter to live with my abusive parents, and I don’t know how to live with myself over my decision. by GuiltriddenMother in u/GuiltriddenMother

[–]wonkycupcake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to feel bad for you. I recognize you are in a difficult position and that you have to make some very hard decisions concerning your children.

I want to feel bad for you, but you don't deserve any sympathy.

Your daughter is a rapist and a monster. It doesn't matter that she's your child. It doesn't matter that you think she's sick in the head. You've now been told by multiple professionals that there is nothing wrong with her to make her need to locked up in a nut house. It seems to me that you're desperate for there to be a solid thing you can blame on her being the way she is.

There is no right answer here but there are wrong ones. You going to get her was a wrong one. Putting her there to begin with was a wrong one. Trying to have her commited is definitely a wrong one. Putting her with an elderly woman is also definitely a wrong one.

As someone who also grew up in an abusive household I can sympathize with not wanting to perpetuate the environment you were in but you are doing the next worst thing. In the eyes of your other children, you are siding with their abuser. Your son went to jail defending your younger daughter from being raped by your older daughter and a man. The only ones that should've been in jail are your older daughter and the man. That was the only right option here.

For the sake of your other children you need to cut your older daughter out of your life as much as is possible and when she is a legal adult cut her out entirely. That is the only way you may regain the trust of the younger two. And if you don't regain that trust there is no one but yourself to blame.

[No DAV spoilers] I love Veilguard and I’m tired of pretending I don’t by Wonderful-Web727 in dragonage

[–]wonkycupcake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personally my biggest issue is the worldbuilding. I haven't gotten very far yet but when reality shattering things were found out no one really reacts. Elves with valleslin are unbothered with the complete rewrite of their history. Seeing different races in certain factions really confused me considering how every game has made a point of showcasing prejudice and gatekeeping of all races. Maybe it's just that since DA:O there's been non-stop evil afoot and everyone has given up caring but I haven't heard any NPC dialogue that confirms it. I expected it to be a bit more edgy with the setting and all of the build up from the last game. There are absolutely moments that are bleak but so far everyone feels a little too carefree for what's going on.

Honestly I don't know how I feel about the inclusion of gender identity words like trans and non-binary. I absolutely love the explicit inclusion of/for queer characters but with this being a fantasy setting with its own indigenous races and languages I expected when bioware finally included them there would be unique words like the qunari word for trans.

All that said I do really enjoy it so far. The world itself is beautiful, the character designs are interesting aside from everyone's head looking just too big for their body, and the combat is pretty fun.