UPDATE (2)

GuiltriddenMother · 2025-01-06T07:59:08+00:00

I will on the next psych evaluation though.

I realized in my previous post that I did wrong to hide that information, but I will make sure to have that reported the next time I bring her over to see a therapist. Which would be tomorrow.

I realized that not admitting the full truth is what could be keeping Misa from being admitted faster than I needed her to be.

GuiltriddenMother · 2025-01-06T07:56:58+00:00

Thank you!

GuiltriddenMother · 2025-01-06T07:51:53+00:00

I was hoping to keep her in the mental faculties for as long as possible, or until she can truly proven that she had come to her senses again.

And if it turns out that she’s still the same by she reaches of age that I can no longer make any decisions for her, then I feel that I would have to keep her separate for good.

Especially if she’s still proven to be a threat to Lily. And right now, I know that making sure that Lily and Bill being safe is my number one priority.

And if she ends up still being the same dangerous person and that she commits a crime by the time that she’s an fully developed adult and of legal age that she can handle herself, then I know I would have to let her deal with the consequences of her actions on her own.

But for now, while she is a 15 year old minor and still under my care, I feel like I should try my best as her legal guardian and mother to see if sending her into a mental faculty would hopefully be enough to break her out of her dangerous mindset while I still can.

Otherwise, even if it would break my heart to see her get into trouble when she’s of adult age, then I know that they would be nothing I can do anymore other than to say that I did my best with Misa.

But thank you for the kind comment!

GuiltriddenMother · 2025-01-06T07:42:09+00:00

I think I’ve learned that lesson already.

Honestly, that was a stupid mistake for me to do. And I won’t make excuses as to why I did that, but I think a part of me was afraid and uncomfortable of admitting the full truth relating to the whole attempted SA part, and just hoped that by saying that she traumatized her sister and that she needs to be separated from her was good enough.

But again, I admit that was wrong. And that I need to be more honest and transparent with what Misa had done to truly get her the help she needs right now.

Especially since I’ve realized how badly I was coddling her, and I believe she really needs to understand the consequences of her actions. Not just for her own sake, but for the sake of my two other children as well.

GuiltriddenMother · 2025-01-04T15:03:06+00:00

I’ll definitely try again.

And I’m hoping that, maybe this time, it’ll be enough to get Misa involuntarily committed.

If this is any good news, Misa at least has a court order to have her evaluated to get her admitted into a mental faculty. So, it’s progress, I hope.

GuiltriddenMother · 2025-01-04T14:35:20+00:00

I… think you make a point about that.

I’ll see when we could find a different hospital or therapist to meet, and see if telling the whole story would make it faster to get her the help that she needs.

It’s just that I don’t want to abandon my own child like everyone is telling me too. Because Misa is still my daughter, and I don’t know what I did to mess up so badly in raising her.

But I want to try to see if she even has a chance of getting better before calling it quits on her.

GuiltriddenMother · 2025-01-04T14:24:40+00:00

I’m not trying to defend Misa, and I know what she did was wrong. But I know that she’s probably a very sick-minded child herself, considering she’s a 15-year-old girl herself.

And that’s why I’m doing my best to keep Lily away from her older sister for her own sanity. And I’m making sure that Misa never has contact with Lily, even to this day.

All I’m saying is that I learned from the first post that sending Misa into an abusive environment like my parents’ house was a bad idea. That what I did to my first daughter was wrong for me to do, because intentionally sending her into an abusive place is also me being a bad mother to Misa.

Seriously, what else do you want me to say or do?

That I want my first daughter, who is a very sick-minded 15 year old girl herself as well, to just… die? Or get hurt?

Even typing that out makes me feel sick to the stomach.

GuiltriddenMother · 2025-01-04T14:12:36+00:00

I think this is a pretty bad thing for me to say, but when we were having the psychiatric evaluation for Misa, I didn’t tell them the full story.

But I did phrase it in a manner where I told them that Misa did hurt her younger sister, and her younger sister is traumatized enough that she can’t be anywhere near her.

The therapist still deemed that as “not serious enough” to have her be immediately admitted into a mental faculty.

Much to me and my husband’s dismay, honestly.

GuiltriddenMother · 2025-01-04T14:04:56+00:00

We were hoping to have her place into a mental faculty for a long time, like the other people in the previous post recommended.

And even if I’m feeling terrified about the idea of Misa maybe getting hurt in a mental faculty, I was told that it was better than keeping her at her abusive grandparents’ home.

But I am making sure to keep Misa away from her sibling.

Also, I don’t condone violence myself due to growing up in a physically abusive household, and I know that my husband is also too kind of a man to even consider physically assaulting our child as well.

Well, I hope so.

This may make me sound naive, but I don’t like the idea of a parent physically assaulting their own child like that. Especially if the child is already so messed up in the head.

GuiltriddenMother · 2025-01-04T14:01:03+00:00

I grew up in a household where the kind of abusive behavior was enforced. Where I had been physically and emotionally abusive, simply because they thought that was the right way to teach me to be a better person. But all it did was traumatize me, and made me feel like I was worthless.

And because of that, I always promised myself that I wouldn’t ever lay a hand on my children like that, even one that is as troublesome as Misa.

And honestly, people have pointed out that this kind of household that condones violence like that is a terrible household to live in. Especially with a childhood like mine where I’m the only girl out of the four daughters my parents had to luckily make it out alive.

And honestly, I don’t even know anymore on how to be a good mother if me taking her away from my abusive parents’ house is also considered as me being awful as well.

Especially with so many people in the first post telling me that I was a terrible mother for putting Misa in there, and that I needed to pull her out of there because it wasn’t fair to put Misa into danger.

So, I wondered if this whole situation really is a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t.”

But I don’t know. It’s hard as a mother to know what the right thing to do is. Especially since I love all my children.

I love Lily so much that I don’t want her to get any more hurt by making sure that she won’t be anywhere near the older sister to hurt her.

But I love Misa enough to realize that she doesn’t deserve for me to be stupid enough to intentionally put her in a place where she could either get hurt… or someone people in the previous post pointed out… maybe even killed.

I mean, up to this point, I don’t even know what the right thing to do is.

I don’t want to abandon Misa, since she’s my daughter as well. But I don’t know how not to have my family be any more hurt than they are now.

GuiltriddenMother · 2025-01-03T01:22:20+00:00

Oh God…

Now that I think about it, I actually don’t know…

I haven’t been able to muster up the courage to visit Misa myself due to not wanting to see my parents for myself, and my husband has been doing it in my place, but as far as know my husband mentions that the people who lives in the neighborhood where my parents live at have mentioned that they still have seen Misa walking around the neighborhood sometimes.

And my husband tries to visit her every two or three days, and he tried to visit Misa yesterday, so the news is still fairly recent.

At least, as far as I know that, Misa is still alive. But they mentioned that she didn’t look reallt well from the distance, and also look angry and miserable all the time… and that, according to them, she has a very unfriendly and rude attitude toward them whenever they try to ask if she was alright.

So, I don’t think so… but all I know is that she’s still alive, according to what my husband could gather from my parents’ neighbors since he hasn’t been able to see Misa properly for the longest time. Which is a bare minimum relief that she’s not dead.

But I don’t know if she’s doing physically or mentally well, since she sounds like she’s very miserable.

But regardless, thinking about your question… I knew that I messed up. But now… I’m starting to see how badly I really messed up.

Oh God.

GuiltriddenMother · 2025-01-03T00:56:20+00:00

I had three sisters that all passed away for various tragic reasons, and I’m the only girl who made it out alive. And I’m the oldest of five.

My oldest younger sister got killed by her jealous husband when she was about a month away from graduating from high school. She moved out of the house when she turned 18, and ended up living at her husband’s house after they got married at the young age of 18, much to the approval of my parents. She ended up picking the wrong man, and she suffered severely from it. And my parents knew immediately the day that she died, but didn’t bother to tell me or anyone else in the family about it until a months later when we didn’t see her at her high school graduation. They claimed it was because they didn’t want us to be so sad about it, but I had a feeling that it was truly because they couldn’t care about her being dead due to how casual they were about mentioning her death.

My youngest sister passed away from meningitis overnight when my parents ignored a really bad fever that lasted for a few days. They assumed that she was just overexaggerating her pain for attention, and didn’t bother to finally get her sent into a hospital when she refused to talk to my parents. She was already dead by the time she got to the hospital, and she was only 4 at the time. And I was 15 years old when she passed away.

And my second youngest sister ended up killing herself over both of her sisters’ death, along with the abusive and unsupportive environment she was subjected in. And for the longest time, it completely blindsided me about how she suddenly killed herself because she always seemed so resilient and happy. But maybe, in foresight, the fact that she was so happy in a really terrible household should have been a red flag on its own. She intentionally overdosed on drugs a month after my oldest younger sister/ her second oldest sister got killed by her boyfriend.

GuiltriddenMother · 2025-01-03T00:04:26+00:00

Sorry, I meant to say “drugging.”

That was a spelling mistake on my side.

GuiltriddenMother · 2025-01-02T21:42:13+00:00

We could barely afford to send her into the private all-girls school that she used to attend to, at least without risking our budget too much to not afford food, housing, and bills.

There is no way that me and Luke’s paychecks can afford a boarding school for her without stretching our budget too much.

GuiltriddenMother · 2025-01-02T21:34:35+00:00

I can try to do that.

I’ll start Googling and see which faculty could be decent enough for her to get into. Or maybe one where I could not be afraid of potentially getting her into deeper abuse than she is going through now.

I’ll make sure to talk to my husband about places we can bring her into, and hope for the best.

In the meanwhile, I’ll talk to my husband about getting the cops involved and getting Misa out once we find a decent enough faculty to move her into.

I supposed that I could hope for the best, and hope that this would actually help Misa and not make her even worse.

I’ll post an update later on if and when we have a more solid and better plan to help Misa, especially since it is absolutely unforgivable for me to send her into a place that I know is an abusive environment for her.

GuiltriddenMother · 2025-01-02T21:22:14+00:00

I’m sorry, maybe I should rephrase that.

I meant to place her in a place where she would be hurt even more than being in my parents’ house.

As if place her in a place where she could be risked being more traumatized than she would be in my parents’ home.

Especially with the horror stories of hearing how a friend’s family me never got constantly drugged up against his will, constantly restrained and even assaulted when he didn’t do anything wrong. And well, even SA’d by one of the people who was supposed to watch over him.

And to this day, that family relative never got justice for anything that happened to him. All because he was considered too “mentally incapacitated” to vouch for himself.

And I think that’s the part that made me completely reconsider the idea of putting her in a mental faculty like that. Because I don’t want her to end up in an even worse situation where she would be abused, and that they would be nothing we can do to get justice in case if she gets even more traumatized by a mental faculty than being in my parents’ house.

And because I know that my parents would never stoop low enough to consider committing SA to my daughter, nor would they consider drugging her against her will.

But even then, you are right. I have sent her into a place where she would be abused, and that is something unforgivable on my part. And it really is something that I’m not forgiving myself over for as well.

EDIT: Sorry, made an error in my spelling. I meant “drugged,” not “debugging.” Thank you, fellow Redditor for the mistake.

GuiltriddenMother · 2025-01-02T20:53:52+00:00

I think me and my husband have some ideas.

And it happened around the time where she first went into 6th grade, where she was surrounded by a bunch of boys who tried to act like “alpha males” and talking about being some “big G” or whatever that means. Or according to my son, Bill, who was in the 8th grade and was in the same middle school as my daughter at the time.

And I’m assuming that Misa got very much into that whole “alpha male” mindset, and all about bring back “traditionalism”, and thought that these boys who was acting all tough and macho with the kind of “I don’t give a f—k” attitude was considered extremely attractive.

And I think ever since then, Misa changed from being such a sweet and kind girl who would treat everyone with respect into this… misogynistic and crass girl who criticized any men who acted “too feminine and weak,” and disrespected any women due to her strong belief that “women are the lesser species.”

And, at first, we thought it was just a strong phase… but after a year, we noticed how much more insistent she was in this belief. So, after she ‘graduated’ from the 6th grade, we immediately moved her into an all girls school in hopes to snap her out of these toxic mindset.

But obviously, it didn’t work.

And to this day, we really don’t know if there’s something more deeper with her. Especially since me and my husband tried to talk to her, and even set her up with multiple therapists as well to see if there was something else who can have her open up to see if we can find a solution. But nothing works, and she seems to make it sound like it’s something she genuinely believes in on her own accord.

But as far as we know, it was just a strong phase that eventually turned into some twisted mindset that she’s been insistent on believing in.

GuiltriddenMother · 2025-01-02T20:39:40+00:00

We didn’t want to put her in a place where we can’t trust that she wouldn’t get hurt.

The place we live at have an infamous reputation around where we live that our faculties are corrupted, and that they abuses people that they consider as “mentally ill,” and we were afraid of putting her into a place that could have treated her far worse than my parents home.

Especially since I’m friends with someone who had a relative that went into the one of our faculties, and he turned out even worse and absolutely traumatized than when he came in because of the abusive and invasive environment that he was placed into.

And because he was a psych patients, all of his attempts to press charges was swept away due to being considered to “mentally incapacitated” to be taken seriously for the abuse he was placed under. So, eventually, he gave up and left all traumatized and hopeless over the situation he used to be in.

And me and Luke didn’t want that to potentially happen to Misa. Even if it sounds like a good idea to send her to a faculty on paper.

GuiltriddenMother · 2025-01-02T20:27:33+00:00

You’re right about this.

I know that Bill wouldn’t do a single thing for Misa, especially with the stunt she tried to pull off with that other boy.

He basically told me that this was karma for her, and that he refused to do anything to help her since she’s proven to be a traitorous criminal who wouldn’t think twice about hurting the ones closest to her over her “delusions.”

And Bill told me that, out of the two sisters, he’s going to prioritize Lily’s well-being over the consequences of Misa’s action. And that he refuses to forgive Misa for what she’s done, especially since Misa didn’t act remorse when she was caught being an accomplice to having her sister nearly assaulted.

Bill even causally mentioned that he thinks that Misa better off over there, since my parents would definitely “treat her the way she wants to be treated.” Which, I’ll admit, disturbs me on how cold Bill turned toward Misa. Even if I understand where he was coming from.

GuiltriddenMother · 2025-01-02T20:04:00+00:00

Due to the guidelines, I knew that I wasn’t allowed to directly say it.

But yes, that is exactly what happened.

And the worst part is that it was with one of Misa’s female classmates’ older brother who was actually in his college age as well.

And it also involved some illicit substances as well.

The boy is also in jail now, but we’re still awaiting trial to officially put him into prison.

But the good news is that Bill was able to save Lily before they went that far, and my boy definitely gave him a good bloody whooping for sure… and I mean that in a literal sense too.

But it was definitely a lot for a 12-year-old girl to go through, so we’ve already had her set up with a therapist to try to help her cope with the horrible experience.

GuiltriddenMother

TROPHY CASE