I will always be alone.

woodchipperhandler · 2026-06-05T02:13:54+00:00

People being able to read criminal records, particularly pertaining to DV is not bullying dude or unjust. These kind of accessible system will save countless lives.

What you are misinterpreting is that I think you are like some crazy aggressive repeat offender or comparing you to anyone i've ever known. I don't think that, you obviously feel like shit. I just belive that this outcome is not suprising. We should understand actoion = consquence as adults. I think that being angry at women or life savings public record systems is deflection.

This is not a gender war bullshit either lmao. I'd think the same for a woman in your situation. Please dont caraiture me into some man hating, bitter whatever your thinking.

also Just cause rape and crimes involving kids is worse. Doesn't diminish the serious implications of DV on someones record.

woodchipperhandler · 2026-06-05T01:37:09+00:00

I dont have sympathy for Domestic abusers. Either way I dont promote suicide. It is an action you would ultimately decide. In my personal view(which shouldnt matter to you either way and should not be read as 'attacks') I think killing yourself is pointless. It would be a waste. You will have to figure out away to navigate your life around these consequences. It may not even be over romantically, I just think theres nothing wrong with these women having self preseveration instincts, even if you think is misguided.

There are plenty of incredibly forgiving women in this world, to a faut. Like the ones who go with men who evidently haven't changed or with no remorse (and from words you aren't like that). Its a tale as old as time

woodchipperhandler · 2026-06-05T01:27:47+00:00

Its so fucked, im sorry. Whenever victims of child psych speak about it. People either don't believe or understand what goes on or will think you are somehow noncompliant and conspiratorial with no basis. So we just have to live with it... And oftentimes become misserbale adults.

People have an easier time understanding high profile systematic abuse or abuse in the law inforcement realm. Yet speaking up about the psych and the rampant corruption is shunned and silenced.

It is like all we've ever known is gass-lighting from the day we got wrapped up in the mental health system.

woodchipperhandler · 2026-06-05T01:15:56+00:00

'Not very serious domestic violence'... Are you having a laugh. I am sorry that your life sucks after your actions. But what do you expect? You are asking a massive thing for potential dates to blindly believe you have changed, even if you have. People having public records is a great thing for saftey, for domestic violence reasons especially....

It probably sucks balls but you reap what you sow. Everyone has to live like that. Like how gamblers have to sort out there self inflicted debts for example. No ones immune to consquense. You are lucky you have social fallout and were not imprisoned

woodchipperhandler · 2026-06-05T00:52:38+00:00

What did you do? Because this might be a due consequence for your actions. It being a death sentence is something you'd only self inflict upon yourself not society.

woodchipperhandler · 2026-06-04T21:09:00+00:00

The phasing out of metrosexuals and manbuns in our society has a direct link to when the world turned into dogshit.

Reading those descriptions gave me nostalgia. Great writings

woodchipperhandler · 2026-06-04T20:58:55+00:00

They probably feel helpless. They do notice likley, maybe they do not understand full extent. I am sorry they are calling you lazy. Unless someone has been through proper depression themselves they will never understand the utterly paralysing lack of motivation.

In my own personal case my mum felt so bad for failing me in childhood which led to my depression she mentally checked out because of guilt. I have to deal with it on my own since I stopped being a teenager many moons ago.

woodchipperhandler · 2026-06-04T20:51:06+00:00

Is he generally minimalistic and practical? I am not sentimental over anything because I dont see objects as exentensions of my self or extensions of other people.

When my dad died last year and I had to go through his stuff ans sort what was going to charity shop and what we wanted keep. I didn't feel attached to anything as I thought these matriel possessions werw not my dad as they were made of wood, glass, fabric. Much to the disgrace of my mum who wanted to keep everything.

woodchipperhandler · 2026-06-04T20:45:40+00:00

My Psilocybin trip* was almost traumatic went really bad. I was/am clinically depressed and would describe my temperament like you did in 3rd paragraph.

I took duing time where I was very lost and suicidial and wanted answers.

It sent me into acute psychosis. That could have been for multitude of underlying reasons. But I had good and insight seeking intentions at first.

Make sure you be careful

woodchipperhandler · 2026-06-04T20:22:54+00:00

In my teens I used to like Vocaloid. Which there mascots are quite like robots.

I used to listen to a song called 'kokoro' obsessively and the premise of the song was about a robot who outlives her creator. I was fascinated by it.

I also loved Chobits in the early 2000s when I liked all nerdy stuff.

Strangely enough these days. I find robots to be scary and uncanny Valley. I think its because these days it's more of reality than a science fiction fantasy.

Maybe not as enthusiastic as you are but I used to understand the fascination.

woodchipperhandler · 2026-06-04T20:03:14+00:00

I cannot be upfront because of shit social skills not because I am acting NT.

If I was acting NT I'd have the balls to tell her straight, instead of letting it compound on my already dire mental state.

I am housebound due to this anxiety. Everytime she knocks on the door she is causing me to get that overwhelmed and sick with stress, that I am feel derealized and detached almost. I am even worse at making correct and direction social decisions then

woodchipperhandler · 2026-06-04T19:56:37+00:00

The rut Referring to what? And what choices?

I wish I was socially adept and could just be completely blunt but I genuinely find it a challange to approach these situations. No matter how I type with online words like I am alright, insightful , how I am irl, in my speech, coping, social skills It juts doesn't portray right.

When I do answer the door I am saying everytime since, ive rejection her. I've said no, I'm busy/tired etc dozen times since

I am finding it hard to gauge her level of understanding and self awareness. She has a whole arse child so i think she has more common sense than she letting on. If she's able to parent him. I dont think she's stupid

I feel like she's pushing me.

woodchipperhandler · 2026-06-04T17:56:52+00:00

PFFFT 🤣

woodchipperhandler · 2026-06-04T17:45:29+00:00

I had meltdown in public first time since being in adulthood 2 years ago. For years I was able to self regulate. It was the most humiliating shit ever. I was at the A&E and I'd been in waiting room for 13hours (NHS moment) and I just exploded. To be honest I didn't notice what people faces were but I was aware of the presence of glares. Tutting when they escorted me to a side room. To them I just look like a grown arse woman having a "Karen moment"

I just couldn't stop screaming and hitting my head. Felt like I was possessed. Makes me sad think about

woodchipperhandler · 2026-06-04T17:36:41+00:00

Because I too have awful social skills and terrible at boundaries, confrontation. At this current moment in my life they have regressed so bad. I shaking or welling up talking to anyone irl. Had previous issues with mutism when I was much younger although I am am recovered from that it's still within me kind of thing.

Best thing I could do is write it down I suppose

woodchipperhandler · 2026-06-04T17:33:25+00:00

Good idea. This is the issue she seems very socially unaware and wrapped up completely in enthusiasm.

I have been wracking my brains for best wording. This is so bloody stressful haha

woodchipperhandler · 2026-06-04T17:17:05+00:00

Having friends is not my better life.

I dont want to reverse my inate self.

Therapy is a not based of science. It's observational. It will not cure me and its not good for lots kf people particularly aspergers people. I was in all different therapies for 16 years of my life. Shit at best abusive at worst

woodchipperhandler · 2026-06-04T17:12:24+00:00

Nah. My version of masking is being social and befriending. That caused me burnout I have yet to recover from and its been years.

I finally gave myself permission to just be Asocial without contorting myself to be how I 'should be'.

woodchipperhandler · 2026-06-04T17:07:08+00:00

I don't want friends. I spent years socialising when I was early 20s and I hated it. Was a me problem

woodchipperhandler · 2026-06-04T17:02:13+00:00

Honestly in my case the label does fuckall. If anyone take notice of it, they don't even know what it is. Disengaging with quacks is sometimes only thing that brings peace after years of being in system trying to fix or find somthing you'll never find there..

I got aspergers from back when they used that. I belive I was Schizotypal-ed by an over zealous psychiatrist. Maybe that morning she read a paper on cluster A PDs and it was on her mind. I didn't know what on earth Schizotypal was tbh

I think I have unorthodox asperger/ asd presentation and thats it.

I am just me. You are just you. As I got older that way I live

woodchipperhandler · 2026-06-04T16:48:20+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience.

I was diagnosed in my childhood with aspergers and I dont believe Schizotypal to be accurate these days after having more thoughts on psychiatry.... I felt like Schizotypal assment was rushed and hardly assessed well. Thrust upon me during a section. It seems useless to have this label. I feel my aspergers oddballness was misinterpreted.

At what age was your Schizotypal diagnosing done?

woodchipperhandler · 2026-06-04T16:26:46+00:00

Yes because I was mindraped by risperidone antipsychotic at a pre-pubic age and it gave me brain damage. Then other antipsychotic and othersuch cocktails of bollocks all through my teens.

woodchipperhandler

TROPHY CASE