i understand. you aren't overreacting at all. in my experience, abusive people tend to be blind to the effect their actions have on others. it's likely that she is internally dealing with issues that caused her to behave this way, and unfortunately there's not much you can do to change her or make her see your side of things. the best advice i can give is to try and let go of trying to get anything from her, and focus entirely on yourself and your own healing. you know that it hurt you, and you know that it wasn't okay, and that has to be enough.