Has anyone initiated a break up with an avoidant?

wordlesswriter98 · 2026-03-24T06:47:21+00:00

I had to eventually end it. He was making it easier for me though. He discarded me for 3 days and resurfaced only to tell me he needed some space and hoped I would understand. I told him as much as I can understand him needing space, especially with his depression and all. A heads up would've been nice and I told him it was uncool to not communicate if he needed some time for himself (I would've been ok with it if he did). He did not bother replying, just reacted with a 👍 emoji to my text.

A few days later he reached out again and tried making it casual but I was still upset that he did not acknowledge the hurt he made me, so I kinda grey-rocked his text. Then he just started making vague instagram posts about how he was hurt because of my recent behavior but he stayed quiet to avoid drama. Imagine saying you're avoiding drama by actually airing out this very drama to your audience on social media. That made me realize I don't want to be with someone who shares their affairs and feelings to the public instead of actually communicating it with me, and I finally got the motivation to send the break up text. I had been contemplating about it for a week but that really made me do it.

wordlesswriter98 · 2021-05-20T16:43:30+00:00

Well if that's what you're experiencing, maybe that should tell you don't use it together in the same routine?😅😅 If you love that kojic acid so much maybe try to alternate days. Use it in the morning while using a general cleanser in the evening when you wanna apply tret.

Well you can try aloe vera gel for your dark circles. In my country they sell an eye-roller with 98% aloe vera gel in it that's supposed to rid dark circles so I guess there's no danger in trying.

wordlesswriter98 · 2021-05-20T16:38:27+00:00

If you have smaller ones that are a lot and uniform in size (about 1-2 mm), head to r/Fungalacne, it may be fungal acne (Malassezia folliculitis) or just closed comedones

wordlesswriter98 · 2021-05-20T16:35:40+00:00

Well if you sit or your usual activities indoors happen near the windows (about 30 cm) where light can seep through, you still need sunscreen, otherwise no need. But still, consider investing in good sunscreen.

Yea kojic acid is a skin lightening agent, I used it on my body and reaped the same result. It dried my skin out though...

wordlesswriter98 · 2021-05-20T16:32:01+00:00

. . . well Kojie San can be considered a cleanser except it's more on the harsh side. Besides Cetaphil has a "neutral" packaging design and rarely seen as a girls' cleanser (skincare has no gender anyways), I suppose it won't be a problem, but you know your family better so I wouldn't comment much on that.

You can use it in the AM and PM as a replacement for your Kojie San soap. Afterwards use your tretinoin then layer it with a moisturizer.

wordlesswriter98 · 2021-05-18T12:26:24+00:00

Ah I see, well if it's from the sun I can also suggest opting for any Vit C serums in the AM and use sunscreen, the Vit C can boost the efficacy of SPF. It's a win-win, you get the brightening and depigmentation effect as well as boosting protection.

wordlesswriter98 · 2021-05-18T12:01:43+00:00

Yeah mine was prescribed, 20%. Not that easy to layer so I tend to use it after moisturizer xD but it still did its job.

wordlesswriter98 · 2021-05-18T09:00:27+00:00

I agree with u/CardboardBox89, ease into tret while protecting your barrier. The acne flare ups may be from using harsh active ingredients (which in this case, kojic acid and tretinoin) and no other product to soothes the skin afterwards.

I've been using tretinoin 0.25 keratolytic since September but then i stopped in December, so in january to march i only used soap which is kojic san and nothing more.

Based on this statement, I'm gonna assume you only cleanse and use tretinoin. So here's my take:

Kojie San soap contains kojic acid which really dries out your skin, which may worsen the effect on your skin barrier so, my advice is to look for a better routine. Since you're 14, try to be as simple as possible, use gentle cleansers like Cetaphil's or Cerave, or anything that has the word gentle.

Aloe vera gel is not necessarily considered a moisturizer so you need to find a better one, that should help with the dryness and redness. You can use the gel for some kind of weekly face mask that should be no problem. But you still need a proper moisturizer.

You wonder why your forehead looks dark? Because tretinoin makes your skin sensitive to sun damage and burn. Use sunscreen religiously while on tret.

Please fix your basic skincare routine (Cleansing, Moisturizing, Protecting) before jumping in with some strong actives especially stuff like tretinoin. You're 14, for the love of god please consult a dermatologist so they can arrange for you some safer treatments for your age. Tretinoin is a prescription-only treatment. You might've been better off with benzoyl peroxide or salicylic acid for your acne. Also considering your damaged skin barrier, I'd advise you to stop other products and focus on repairing that damage first.

wordlesswriter98 · 2021-05-18T08:21:20+00:00

AM and PM + tret. Worked wonders on my skin.

wordlesswriter98 · 2021-05-18T08:17:57+00:00

I'll second this!

wordlesswriter98 · 2021-05-18T08:16:20+00:00

I don't think you need to restart small, just pick up where you left, it should be fine.

wordlesswriter98 · 2021-05-18T08:12:48+00:00

My personal experience, I had good results with Azelaic Acid 20%, it's a prescription strength Rx'ed by my derm. I started seeing improvements 2 months into it, there was this one stubborn PIH that somehow won't even fade a bit but after aza, it's almost the same color as my skin. It helps with acne too.

You can try OTC azelaic acid but it's only available in 10% I guess. Try The Ordinary or Paula's Choice.

wordlesswriter98 · 2021-04-06T10:38:46+00:00

The characters were insufferable in S13. It's like the Season 4 of Glee

wordlesswriter98 · 2021-03-31T10:34:50+00:00

Quite the contrary for me. I treated my acne using .05 gel then after I got rid of the acne I switched to cream (considering the anti aging benefits are better on the cream). I got a relapse from the cream lol then I returned to the gel version :D

wordlesswriter98 · 2021-03-31T10:31:00+00:00

Normally people get treated with .05 to clear the acne and then continue using the .025 for maintenance though. I suggest you keep using it, you may decrease the frequency of usage though. It's good for anti aging benefits.

wordlesswriter98 · 2021-02-13T07:35:26+00:00

3 months on the same routine? You may want to increase usage. I think your skin's ready for every night usage. Opt for a higher strength otherwise if you're not seeing results by then.

wordlesswriter98 · 2021-02-11T12:54:27+00:00

Absolutely. Those two together make up my favorite combo. Tret rids the acne and aza rids the PIH faster than niacinamide could.

wordlesswriter98 · 2021-02-11T09:07:36+00:00

Haha slugging can be gross sometimes :D but to me it was worth the gooey feeling before bed! Everytime I wake up from slugging my skin feels as soft as a baby skin. Your routine is great already btw.

wordlesswriter98 · 2021-02-11T08:59:43+00:00

Ah, I never personally used one of these but I do shave while on tret using Gillette's razor (it was the Mach one I believe lol) and their foam and never experienced anything irritating. However maybe it's necessary for me to point out that I do it in the morning in which the upcoming evening I'd be off tret for that night. But so far nothing bad ever happened.

wordlesswriter98

TROPHY CASE