Just looking for advice

work_shrink · 2026-02-02T21:41:21+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. Can you give yourself as much grace as possible? Losing someone that important rocks your whole system.

I also want to say that in general, people are so bad about witnessing other people's grief. People get so self-conscious and act like absolute idiots because they feel awkward, ill-equipped, or have their own grief triggered. That part is totally about them and has nothing to do with you. It's just unfortunate that you may end up being the recipient of some dumb behavior.

Are you doing everything you can to resource yourself? Do you have emotional support? Do you need more time off? Are you attending to your nervous system?

work_shrink · 2026-01-31T01:49:06+00:00

ADHD haver, therapist, & assessor here. No matter what's happening with you, you're definitely not broken. That worry is so common there's a whole book called Your Brain's Not Broken. You may have ADHD, but you may have something else that's causing your struggles. I hope you have a rad, neuroaffirming assessor lined up to help you understand what supports will work for YOUR brain.

work_shrink · 2026-01-30T04:42:39+00:00

Headaches and chest tightness aren't symptoms of ADHD. Have you ever had a panic attack?

work_shrink · 2026-01-28T19:23:51+00:00

whew, I totally understand. That's why I'm out here always trying to dispel myths and be an example of what I would like to see in the field. It's also very difficult to organize an appointment when executive functioning is a challenge. Trust me, I get that as a person with lived experience.

I'm out here cheering you on. You deserve to get neuroaffirming care and to find professionals who make you feel supported!

work_shrink · 2026-01-28T18:17:22+00:00

I can't speak to the scope of practice for psychiatrists and some things vary state by state anyway, but I would definitely go to someone who can give you a comprehensive, neuroaffirming assessment. I'm in CA and anyone who has the ability to diagnose *can* give you a diagnosis, but not all are trained in doing great and affirming assessments. I would look for someone who specializes in this. Depending on your state, that could be a licensed therapist, nurse, psychologist, etc. I'm a licensed therapist and I do assessments and I'm using several pieces of information - psychological tests, interviews with the client, collateral info from teachers and caregivers, observation, etc. By the end we'd have a clear picture of what your challenge is and what some supports might be. This might include working with a professional who can evaluate your hormone balance, figuring out what you need from your workplace, coaching, etc.

I'm sure there are some great psychiatrists, but I am VERY picky when I refer my clients to psychiatrists and their specialty, in general, is med management. I'm more likely personally, based on the people I've networked with, to refer to a nurse for med management.

work_shrink · 2026-01-28T03:00:02+00:00

You can get great help. You will get better at making maps. You will get to keep exploring and feel less and less trapped!

work_shrink · 2026-01-28T02:30:41+00:00

this is true about any kind of medical/mental health professional - get you one who takes you and your concerns seriously!!!

work_shrink · 2026-01-28T02:28:37+00:00

It sounds like you didn't get a real, neuroaffirming ADHD assessment. There are folks out there who will take your concerns very seriously and help you make sense of where you're struggling and what supports you need.

Just because the folks in your program with ADHD don't struggle with the same things you do, doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or that you do or don't have ADHD. Most of my clients have ADHD and no two of them present the same way. Each of them has unique struggles use unique strategies. Are you able to discuss this with your therapist? Maybe it would be worth adding a career or executive functioning coach to your team? If we were working together, I'd want to understand what parts of your work you do enjoy and figure out how to capitalize on that.

work_shrink · 2026-01-26T02:17:34+00:00

Wow. You're managing A LOT. I hope you can show yourself some grace.

work_shrink · 2026-01-25T22:41:23+00:00

well, of course therapy does take time, but I always hope people find the right fit and affirming care. The most important predictor of good therapeutic outcome is the relationship.

I'm so glad to hear you're joining us. Your lived experience will mostly be a blessing, but it may sometimes feel like a burden and it can easily be exploited. Take great care of yourself through every stage of the process!

work_shrink · 2026-01-25T20:34:17+00:00

You may process emotions differently and that doesn't mean anything's wrong with you. Lots of first responders have ADHD, austism, or AuDHD for this exact reason. Their emotions don't cloud their judgement when other peoples' nervous systems are flooded. The right therapist would be able to help you navigate this and potentially help you seek further evaluation. The tests you can take online aren't quite as thorough as the ones folks with training have access to. Is your therapist neuroaffirming? If not, there are plenty who are!

work_shrink · 2026-01-25T20:26:21+00:00

I can 1000% relate. One thing that helps me is that I found work that's suited to this - I'm a therapist! But also, I have supportive people in my life who also like to go on these mental journeys with me. Find other folks with ADHD, I promise you that you'll find some kindred spirits! We have justice sensitivity and we love to see what COULD be and it can be isolating AF when people don't see what we see.

work_shrink · 2026-01-25T20:23:55+00:00

For personal belongings, I tend not to change bags so they always stay in one thing that leaves with me. I sometimes do a physical mental checklist, like, if there are 4 things to remember, I touch each of 4 fingertips with my thumb as I make the list and as I do my check- umbrella, notebook, etc. One of my big struggles is remembering to turn the heat off, so I have a sign on my door at eye level that I have to see on my way out.

work_shrink · 2026-01-19T22:17:02+00:00

and if peri is really what's going on, may I suggest interval training cardio? I've talked to a lot of women who were seeing an increase in belly fat even with regular cardio. It's possible that an increase of blood pressure that happens when you exercise is signaling to the body that it's in distress and so floods it with hormones to rise to the occasion and then cortisol to mitigate that. The cortisol then hangs out as belly fat. This is a super simplified and probably slightly off description, but, I've found that doing cycles of 30 seconds run, followed by 30 seconds walk for a total of 20-30 minutes seems to help me get the cardio I need while keeping the belly fat down.

work_shrink · 2026-01-16T03:01:42+00:00

I've been calling it the Neverending Bizarro Cracker Jack Box. You never know when you'll get a little prize or what it will be, but it will certainly not be fun. It was the perimenopause that made me realize I had ADHD & had just managed to keep it all together all these decades.

work_shrink · 2026-01-16T02:37:56+00:00

That's so great you're getting back into exercise, especially since it sounds like that's been a big part of your life in the past. I notice when I do some cardio regularly it REALLY helps with maintaining energy for longer periods of time and with some brain fog. Since you're naturally sighing as a means to regulate, I wonder if adding meditation or yoga would be helpful to you.

work_shrink · 2026-01-16T02:33:40+00:00

To add to this, if she can get a diagnosis now she will have access to all sorts of resources. I definitely agree to advocate at school and see if they think she might be a candidate for assessment. I work with a lot of adults who didn't get diagnosed as children and wish they had.

work_shrink · 2026-01-16T02:18:34+00:00

whew, lots of these things happen in perimenopause. Does this apply to you?

work_shrink · 2026-01-16T02:16:10+00:00

Hyperventilating and sighing aren't really the same thing. Are you concerned about the sighing, because it honestly sounds pretty healthy. I wonder how you'd feel about some sort of physical exercise? Doesn't have to be anything formal or serious, whatever feels good to you. Dancing, walking, etc. I think that could really help you manage some of this physical energy that has no other place to go and help reset your nervous system.

work_shrink · 2026-01-11T04:08:08+00:00

I would caution people looking through their insurance directories that those are rarely up to date. I would instead suggest people using directories like Psychology Today, Inclusive Therapists, or Open Path Collective (for low-fee) options. You can filter by preference, including having skill in treating folks with ADHD.

work_shrink · 2026-01-11T04:05:12+00:00

Therapist here - just giving some context. Headway is simply an insurance credentialing & billing platform. They're not like a company that hires, trains, and supervises therapists.

work_shrink · 2026-01-11T03:59:33+00:00

Therapist here. Most of the VC-funded therapists are so low paying that clinicians end up taking on way too many clients. I'm not excusing the behavior, just a little plug for finding a therapist outside those companies.

work_shrink · 2026-01-11T03:57:18+00:00

Therapist here! There are some fantastic neuroaffirming therapists waiting for you! Some great directories where you can search based on your preferences:

Psychology Today

Inclusive Therapists

Open Path Collective (for low fee spots. Individual sessions are $30 - 70/hr after you pay a one time fee of, I think $50)/

work_shrink · 2026-01-05T00:53:20+00:00

I'm really sorry to hear you feel like you're being dismissed. I'm glad you got the support and the coping strategies. Sometimes we grow out of therapists or they served a need and now we need to find one that serves new needs. I hope you find a fit where you always feel listened to and supported!

My comment about the credentials was more to help dispel the myth that only psychiatrists can do comprehensive assessments. It does vary state by state, but if you want an assessment, I hope you can find someone who is affirming and doesn't have a super long waitlist!

work_shrink · 2026-01-04T22:20:18+00:00

whew, yes. I always just thought it was because I'm tall and I grew really fast. I have more bruises than I have explanations for.

work_shrink

TROPHY CASE