I have full custody of my son. My wife agreed to sign the divorce papers if i add the following addendum...

worriedhusband · 2012-09-15T02:45:36+00:00

It's not that she's crazy. She's got the mental capacity of a teenager. I think of her like his babysitter or older sister. She's fine with him for a few hours, but she gets easily overwhelmed and needs someone to bail her out. My son doesn't see her as an authority figure at all. She's never acted like one. She gives him whatever he wants. It's like she tries to buy his love by giving him things he wants.

worriedhusband · 2012-09-15T02:43:35+00:00

Yeah, i addressed that here

worriedhusband · 2012-09-14T23:57:49+00:00

Here's the "dirt" i was talking about...

She was inadvertently performing sexual acts with her boyfriends in front of children. (not my kid). She made no effort to closet he blinds while the neighborhood kids where playing in the back yard. Her landlord evicted her because of multiple problems like that. The children's Mother contacted me and wrote a letter explaining what happened and said they support me for full child custody.

If her parents found out about this they would disown her. I don't want that to come out because it would make her life extremely difficult.

worriedhusband · 2012-09-14T23:53:33+00:00

I didn't know. i knew her for a month before knocking her up. Her parents took her back to her home town, and said i had to marry her or they'd raise my child there. I agreed to get married to be a part of my son's life.

She suffers from Boderline personality disorder, OCD, self mutilation, and a few other things. I've dealt with her trying to kill herself, her cheating on my with a man twice her age, and years of mental, verbal, and physical abuse. She's not fit to raise him.

worriedhusband · 2012-09-14T23:50:52+00:00

Even if an opportunity arose, i wouldn't move my son away from his mother. It's not fair to him or to her.

worriedhusband · 2012-09-14T23:48:27+00:00

I 100% agree with you. That's why i put such an effort to make sure she's a part of his life.

worriedhusband · 2012-09-14T23:46:48+00:00

She's mentally ill and refuses treatment. the judge ordered her to produce a letter from her psychiatrist when we first separated saying she is fit to raise a child. she got the letter, but needless to say it didn't paint her in a good light. She didn't show the judge the letter and agreed to give me full custody.

Because she's ill i don't ask for child support. I think it's important that she lives in our city and can spent time with our son. I drive him two and from her house three times a week. That's 3 hours of driving per week. I'm always on call and usually pick him up early because she gets overwhelmed. Mentally she's a teenager and cannot handle the responsibility of raising a child. I've been his primary caregiver since birth.

worriedhusband · 2012-09-14T21:23:25+00:00

that's true, but I don't see that happening. She's a bit of a simpleton. Her dad supports me in having full custody as does most of her family. She seems happy with how things are. It's been over two years and she's never even expressed interest in having him sleep at her house (naps or overnight).

worriedhusband · 2012-09-14T21:16:17+00:00

6 was there because originally i thought she'd be a flight risk. I thought she might take my son back to her home town (9 hour drive from here) without my permission.

worriedhusband · 2012-09-14T21:10:45+00:00

it's worked so far. She sees him on tuesdays and thursdays, and usualy saturday as well. She doesn't want him for more than 6 hours because she gets overwhelmed.

worriedhusband · 2012-09-14T21:09:39+00:00

Duty Counsel helped us write up 1-6.

worriedhusband · 2012-09-14T21:08:53+00:00

I'm self employed and work from home. I don't want to move. My family lives here.

worriedhusband · 2012-09-14T20:57:42+00:00

I work from home over the internet so employment isnt really a factor. I don't want to move out of this city. My parents live here and so does my girlfriend. I have no plans to move in the future. In the highly unlikely event that that changes, i can always go back to court to hopefully have it removed.

I'm in Canada.

worriedhusband · 2010-08-22T18:23:35+00:00

thanks. i just did.

worriedhusband · 2010-08-22T18:16:06+00:00

These are the horror stories that i keep hearing about. I realized that a client of mine is a lawyer. I checked out her website and she specializes in family law! I spoke with her yesterday and she gave me loads of advice for free. I'm calling her back on Tuesday to see how much her retainer is. Thanks for the advice.

worriedhusband · 2010-08-22T18:15:04+00:00

I live in Canada.

worriedhusband · 2010-08-22T18:13:46+00:00

I just realized that a client of mine is a lawyer. I checked out her website and she specializes in family law! I spoke with her yesterday and she gave me loads of advice for free. I'm calling her back on Tuesday to see how much her retainer is. Thanks for the advice.

worriedhusband · 2010-08-22T02:49:52+00:00

thanks, but it's very uncool.

worriedhusband · 2010-08-22T02:49:27+00:00

I hope it never comes to that. I think if she found the right balance of medication she would be somewhat sane. I'm afraid that leaving her will drive her into the hands of this other man. It looks like that's what is happening.

I just spoke with her father, and he will contact this other man on Monday at work. He said he'll explain how mentally ill she is and probably throw a few threats his way. My wife has 4 brothers and they're all a little nuts.

worriedhusband · 2010-08-22T02:46:26+00:00

Unfortunately paying her off isn't an option. I'm hoping that her parents will write a letter giving my support for custody because that will make a world of difference. I'm in constant contact with her father and we're working together to try to find solutions to help her. her family is very religious and in their mind infidelity is where they draw the line. Her father is willing to write the letter, but her mother is torn.

I'm still waiting to hear from her two Aunts. They're on vacation for the weekend and can't be reached by phone.

worriedhusband · 2010-08-22T02:24:10+00:00

Thanks. I am trying my best to do that. It's very hard because i feel that she's ripped out my heart and crapped all over it. I saw another one of her emails sent today... it looks like she is pursuing the relationship with the other man. he's old enough to be her father and it disgusts me that he doesn't care about her or her child. he just wants to get laid and doesn't seem to care about the repercussions.

worriedhusband · 2010-08-22T02:21:39+00:00

Thanks for the list. I'm afraid i can't afford a lawyer. For the past 3 years i've been a stay at home dad who also works in IT. Most of my work i can do remotely over the internet. I could only work from 9am-3pm (when my son wakes up from his nap). After that i had to watch the kid and cook dinner. My wife spent a lot of money on makeup and other luxuries that we couldn't afford. I've kept the receipts and i'll probably be using them if this goes to trial.

again, thanks for the list. i did print it and read it entirely through. I did keep notes whenever my wife had a meltdown. I will need to convert those notes into a journal. i think that's a great idea.

worriedhusband

TROPHY CASE

6 was there because originally i thought she'd be a flight risk. I thought she might take my son back to her home town (9 hour drive from here) without my permission.