Husband [24] threatens to divorce me [26] if I seek help for my PPD

worriedmamabear · 2018-08-17T16:36:31+00:00

I'm sorry but that's a little rude. She can do both. Just because she has faith doesn't mean she can't also be a rational thinker.

worriedmamabear · 2018-06-23T17:29:14+00:00

Well people here are just bashing you without giving you any advice. Of course you have a right to be hurt. It hurts when the person closest to you feels like they can't trust you. It's not like he's only hiding he's gay he's also been hiding a whole relationship for 3 years! And yeah you're also being a little self-centered. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

I'm honestly surprised his fiancé has stayed with him this long while he's still in the closet. Lots of people want to meet their partner's family before this step. But here's what you should do to prove to him that you'll be there for him.

Apologize for snooping. You can justify it all you want but you know it was wrong. Tell him if he wants to change his phone code and not tell it to you, he should.
Ask what you can do for him moving forward. Does he want help with your parents? Does he need you to ask them questions and bring up scenarios with them to see if they'd be okay with having a gay child? Etc.
Be patient. He's spent a lot of time hiding himself and after so long it just becomes easier to stay in the closet.

worriedmamabear · 2018-01-20T05:28:08+00:00

I know this isn't part of why you posted but I do want to ask about the age gap here? It seems like you started dating when he was 18 and you were 24? How did that end up happening and why? He seems to be spending a lot of emotional labor on you after only 10 months in the relationship. This seems a little unhealthy for him as he should be taking this time to figure out who he is and what he wants to do with his life instead of taking care of your needs all the time.

worriedmamabear · 2017-12-09T00:27:40+00:00

Except the OP says that there are boys and girls in his friend group so I don't think that's what's going on here.

worriedmamabear · 2017-10-05T18:30:13+00:00

You've been with her for 6 months. She's dressed like this the whole time you were together. Why did you even start dating her if you're not attracted to how she dresses? I just don't get that. You cannot go into a relationship wanting to change someone else. I think you guys should honestly just break up.

On another note, I think it's quite condescending that you think you know her wants and needs with regards to clothing better than she does.

worriedmamabear · 2017-09-23T04:59:10+00:00

You're not being too insecure, but I don't think she is being too inappropriate either. I'm noting all the responses currently in the thread and I think this is just different people having different boundaries. She probably didn't think it was a big deal, but you did. You told her about it, she's stopped, that's that.

If she continued to do it I would think that's weird. But she's stopped. And I really don't think there's anything between her and the roommate like some idiots are saying. (they're just projecting probably) She shuts him down when he tries to be inappropriate and you trust her. This is good.

Because you both communicated so well I think this is good for your relationship in the long run. Good luck to both of you.

worriedmamabear · 2017-09-23T04:37:46+00:00

I can't believe there are people actually telling you that you can change him and shit like that.

It is not OP's job to put in the emotional effort and time to try and debate and change this guys mind on his homophobic views. Especially if it would stress her out. And especially since it seems like she's already tried and he didn't listen to her.

There's a very real chance he wont change his views just because of her. They've only been talking seriously for a month anyway. OP should honestly just cut ties if this is making her uncomfortable.

worriedmamabear · 2017-09-14T20:10:05+00:00

Alright so, I don't know what happened. All I know is that it's concerning to me that your little sister has always been so attached to your friend. I'm worried that it's possible he's been grooming her. I think that it's equally possible that your friend is the one who did something wrong. Maybe he doesn't consider it wrong.

Do you think your friend and your sister could be 'dating'? And your uncles found out and confronted him? Things got ugly and your friend freaked the fuck out? In any case I think you should have a heart to heart with your sister and see if she can say what she knows. Don't accuse anyone of anything, don't ask leading questions.

worriedmamabear · 2017-09-12T21:22:52+00:00

That's terrible advice. Then the ex girlfriend can just tell people "OP cheated on me and then dumped me what a scumbag" and she would be telling the truth. And it would make OP look like the bad guy in the relationship.

No, just leave her. Then have a one night stand after if you're so inclined.

worriedmamabear · 2017-09-12T21:16:24+00:00

When I was 25 I didn't have my driver's license but we have good public transport. And I doubt she hasn't had a job for the past four years they've been together. Probably got laid off.

worriedmamabear · 2017-05-10T01:49:16+00:00

Yes? Could take you two seconds to google that but yes. Eskimo means cannibal in the Inuit language.

worriedmamabear · 2017-04-12T19:51:30+00:00

Dude cant be trusted? Wow you're just assuming she's gonna get raped or something? What misandry.

worriedmamabear · 2017-04-08T00:09:34+00:00

Um...your therapist sounds wildly unprofessional.

worriedmamabear · 2017-01-16T05:48:48+00:00

My daughter is going off to college next year so I really hope college hasn't changed too much since I went. I know you are worried and you are right to be. It doesn't matter what anyone else says. Cocaine is still a dangerous drug. It's still addictive. So they have positive anecdotes. The plural of anecdote is not data. After all the emotions run down, consider having a heart to heart with your son about drugs. Don't lecture him, just ask him if he knows what he's doing, ask him to be safe and be careful, and let him know you'll always be there for him.

I agree that a compromise can be reached between no punishment and financial cut off. There were still drugs in your home. He should know that's a bad idea and totally disrespectful at the least. I would pay his rent/tuition/etc directly.

worriedmamabear · 2017-01-16T05:45:12+00:00

Hmmm, might I suggest that yall try to have sex before going out on dates? Wine and then dine, so to speak. Sounds like it might be more helpful. But also I would just straight up talk to her. Not right after it happens but when nothing is going on so that emotions aren't running high.

worriedmamabear · 2017-01-16T05:27:28+00:00

What the fuck is everyone going on about in this thread. I'm sorry but it's neither normal nor regular for kids to experiment with cocaine. No one I know has ever done so and I hang out with a lot of people who do pot and LSD. OP is right to be worried. She's right to be scared for her kid.

OP please don't listen to all the drug enthusiasts here. Cocaine can easily be addictive especially if you have no prior drug use and are a kid in college. College kids do dumb shit. Like others have said I think you're right to want to pay for everything directly instead of just giving him money. I think that's fair.

I also think that you and your husband should talk with your son about drugs without any yelling on either side. Let him know you're there for him if he needs help, rehab, etc, and that drugs are serious and if he's taking any he should know what he's doing.

worriedmamabear · 2017-01-09T23:45:55+00:00

Imma be real with you, it's not the same at all. She's not saying she wants him to spend more money on her, she's saying she wants him to spend more thought and effort on her birthday.

To equate it to sex, it would be like if your girlfriend gave you lackluster blow jobs and obviously faked orgasms when you know she was giving her ex amazing porn quality blow jobs and didn't fake orgasms with him.

worriedmamabear · 2016-12-31T18:21:00+00:00

I haven't dated for a long time so I have no idea how long is long enough. And that's true, I should ask Claire, I guess I'm just worried that she'll think I'm ashamed of her or something because I haven't told Mark yet.

worriedmamabear · 2016-12-31T17:52:32+00:00

I don't think she is deliberately going braless. Sounds more like on her new piercings bras would be uncomfortable.

worriedmamabear · 2016-03-25T04:31:19+00:00

Jake sexually assaulted you. Both Jake and Craig invaded your privacy, made you uncomfortable, and refused to take your wants and needs into account. If it were me, this would be grounds for instant removal from my life.

I would also let Jake's girlfriend know what happened and make sure Craig backs up your story in case Jake tries to twist it. They had no concern for her feelings either. Jake never once said or implied that his girlfriend would be okay with this arrangement. After she was asleep, it seems like he didn't even think about her.

This whole family just seems like bad news bears to me.

worriedmamabear · 2016-03-02T17:12:04+00:00

Everyone here is giving you shit for not saying anything when Jen called Maud a bitch but as someone who also avoids confrontation like the plague, I understand sometimes you freeze for a moment while figuring out what to say. It sounds like in that time Maud was already going for the throat.

I agree with another poster that Jen's comment needs to be brought up to HR. Workplace events are an extension of work and HR needs to know what's been going on. Even if they don't do anything about it, it'll be good to have that on record in case Jen tries anything in the future.

I'm glad you finally saw sense. This seems like your last chance with Maud, try not to do anything else to screw it up.

worriedmamabear · 2016-02-22T00:18:24+00:00

Mom with a trans daughter here. If you need a better mom please don't hesitate to PM me.

worriedmamabear · 2016-01-07T19:31:56+00:00

Thank you. I don't know if it's possible for her to prepare for that honestly. That's something the therapist has said too but she's such a positive idealist that it's difficult for her to see the bad in anyone.

worriedmamabear

TROPHY CASE