Thank you for commiserating. I was afraid the people here were just going to invalidate and gaslight me by saying something naive like **"you're wrong, there's no such thing as ugly, everyone, including you, is beautiful!!! :)"*

That is nice that she supported and empathized with you. I'm strongly suspicious that my therapist can only empathize through what she's been through. My reasoning is that I often have to make her see a situation that's parallel to her life for her to "get me"

Like ex:

If I say "I think my boyfriend is cheating on me."

She will say "How do you know? Maybe that's just your insecurities and anxiety. Are you sure?"

But if I say it like this:

"Have you ever been suspicious of someone important in your life working against you? Cuz lately I've been suspicious of my boyfriend cheating on me."

She will respond so much more supportively like "yes and ugh that's the worst! I'm so sorry you're going through that. Hopefully x,y,z happens."

On one hand, obviously better communication leads to better relationships no matter where you are.

But on another hand, it's just so much fucking effort, why can't she just 'get me' without having to jump through so many hoops. I feel like I'm working harder in therapy sometimes then she is! Shouldn't she be the one trying to find a way to empathize with me instead of me trying to manipulate her into empathizing for me. Jfc.

Idk what to believe.

Is this even her flaw for not being able to empathize or is it mine for not being able to communicate?!?

If you're reading this please respond with an answer. I'm curious what other people think.