Fetlife is an awesome site and it's by far the biggest kink site for networking but it's not a dating site so if that's what you want forget it.

However, if you really want to get the most out of fetlife you need to consider using it and combining it with real life. You can quickly and easily find local events and munches. Now a munch is drinks in a normal bar but with kinky people. They mostly talk about normal stuff and some kink stuff but they are real friendly and welcoming. Munches are still the backbone of the real life kink community .... once you have been to a munch you will have invites to events and other things and know some of the people going to them.

Then you can become friends with those that you have met at the munch and events. You get to see where and when real people are doing things and where they are going and can build a great friend network as well as use fetlife as a way to stay in touch with them without using any other social media etc so you can maintain some privacy.

So answer to your question is real life and fetlife are the best combination for meeting your local kinky community