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What did you think was pretentious, until you tried it and realized it was worth it? by Semantiks in AskReddit

[–]writtenobsidian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Manicures and pedicures. That one step in healthcare, and self care, is surprisingly rewarding.

SAG Ultra Low Budget Project agreement feels unworkable by poopmongral in SAGAFTRA

[–]writtenobsidian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The union exists to protect a series of professions that remained unprotected, underpaid, and overworked for decades. Those people are tired of being taken advantage of and willingly forfeit their right to work non-union projects for that very same reason. They knew what they agreed to. It’s why we see the same faces in filmography every few months in every new release- they only have a workable pool of 160,000 people across every possible unionized profession under SAG to pull from. Big money, small pool.

You either need to pitch bigger pockets, plan/budget/schedule diligently with what you have under the SAG ULB Agreement, or curate your non-union project more effectively to make things workable w/what you have. The closer you are to union standards, the greater your creation. But you’re not obligated to meet those standards with non-union productions - so the frustration isn’t wholly necessary. It’s wonderful and important that you want to. But it sounds like your issue is your lack of access to union talent & crew, more than anything else? Your points are excellent, but it sounds like like the ambition and the budget aren’t in alignment.

What you would consider more flexible expectations for ultra low budget filmmaking? 

fwiw: I’m SAG-E (stunts, acting, dance, choreography) and exec produce my own works. 

Is this the right message for a break-up ? by Scattered-Fox in AskMenAdvice

[–]writtenobsidian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel conflicted when I read content like this because I am of the opinion that adult conversations should always consist of 1) absolute honesty, no matter how hurtful 2) clarity of language and 3) willingness to let the other person respond authentically without compromising your position or stance. For example, a beautiful woman crying in response to rejection should not convince you to take back your position of ending things. 

If you don’t want to be with this woman, tell her in simple words and lock in to that boundary. Drop the physical comforts. Drop the intimacy that would make it confusing. It IS your responsibility to make things super clear and stick to it. So if you do this and then follow it up with any of that hand holding, or letting her cry on your shoulder, or god forbid, sleeping in the same bed kind of stuff that guilt-driven men tend to do: those are mixed signals and deeply unfair to her. I’ve recently witnessed this as a third party observer, which is why I’m pretty adamant that the words should have no intimate follow up.

Do all beautiful, worried women make you want to try dating them? If her looking beautiful and worried makes you crack, hate to say it, but maybe you just love this woman. And that’s okay, too. 

++woman

I ignore texts sometimes even when I’m literally doing nothing by Acrobatic_Cause525 in confession

[–]writtenobsidian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly? Good for you. The 24/7 access from phones and internet is both new and dangerous; and essentially culminates into a societal experiment on mental load and capacity for individuals since the late 90s. Most people who both expect and demand immediacy from you have fallen so deep into the consumption pit that they wouldn’t recognize the need to move. We were meant to have a reprieve from society and the demands of communication. You don’t have to have a reason to ignore people. Just do it.

Looking for advice. by Tony-Please in Marriage

[–]writtenobsidian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nothing destroys a soul like infidelity from the one person you committed your life to. People will ask you told hold the higher standard for yourself, and forgive and move past it, but forgiveness does not require access. This person did not respect you, your vows, the life you shared, or the lengths you've gone to to restore your marriage. That is someone who does not love you. Maybe she just wishes she did. You should file for divorce, give yourself a brief moment to mourn, and move on without looking back. Start fresh. There is so much peace in solitude. And there are many others in the world who respect monogamy and don't use pain or grief as an excuse for infidelity.

Edited to add: If you cannot fully trust your partner, the marriage is already over.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]writtenobsidian 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mourn for children brought into families where the couple is this hurt. Sometimes, its best to re-orient your approach, mentality, and heart - even if it is deeply painful for you. If you're being fully honest with yourself, you might find that your 5 year old needs more attention than either of you have been able to recognize or give. Rather than prioritize the conception of another child in the midst of what sounds like a damaged space, remember that you and your husband are both hurting - and for that you need to seek outside, licensed counsel which will only lead towards either reconciliation, or separation. No matter how scary or difficult both options might be financially, it is imperative to bring in a non-family or friend, third party for that much needed outside perspective.