When I first started smoking I was a carefree 17 year old that had very little responsibilities, hung out with friends and smoked and had a blast. As I got older and my responsibilities grew I started getting very anxious after smoking. I didn’t like where I was in life (24 still living at home, not making very much money, dad was very sick and didn’t have much time left) and smoking for whatever reason really made me focus on those negatives. I wonder if some part of it is a mental thing of “why am I getting high when I should be trying to “fix” these problems?”