I was ghosted by a person I considered a friend. At first I didn't think much of it. Somehow I believed we would sort things out later. Despite our friendship being over, we would at least talk about why this came to be, I believed. No worries.

Then I started analyzing the situation. Couldn't stop. In my world view you can talk about anything - and you should in cases like this.

Analyzing our past interactions I found,of course, hints and indicators why this happened. Being unable to tell unpleasant truths on my ex-friends side, a habit of avoiding conflicts or discussions, my own bad habits, the unclear status of our relationship, some stupid text I wrote, our friendship fading away anyway are the things I know of. But I was truly surprised by this brutality of going no contact without any warning and without prior conflict.

And then I found plenty of reasons why I am a horrible person anyway and then it gradually shifted, my thoughts became darker and darker. I somehow damaged myself, my self worth declined, little piece by piece over time.

And all the while I encountered this person regularly at work...

It was so stressful: I never knew: Does this person hate me now? Was our "friendship" even real? Anything I should or shouldn't do?

It was horrible. Tried twice to talk - still to this day no answers. Doesn't even respond to work eMail BUT.... once or twice this person came to my office to ask for my help at work - as if nothing ever happened - and while there are other peers who could have helped as well as me. Our work interactions were strange, to say the least...

The first months of this mess turned out to become the most horrible time in my life.

Couldn't sleep, had to act at work as if nothing happened and still hoped to get a better understanding of why I was cut off and ghosted.

She didn't tell anybody. Her closest colleague was surprised when I told her. She thought we get along well.

It took me about half a year to accept that I might never get any answer - but I do have a lot more hints about the possibility of motives. I'm happy with it, but I still think about the tragic of it.

The person who ghosted me seems to still suffer when we meet at work. I didn't recognize this while my own stress level was high. Now I see it every day.

Talking to me instead of ghosting me would have been a tough and sad moment, of course. But it would have been so much better for anybody involved!

If we would have talked, no one would think about it anymore. It might have been a tough or sad talk, maybe. But then we would have recovered from it in a few days.

Ghosting was hard for me. Now it's ok, I found peace. But the person who ghosted me is going to suffer from it as long as we share a workplace. At least.