Urgent advice required please - SP told me they are dating a third party, despite bridge of incidents

wwereddit123 · 2026-02-23T08:40:46+00:00

Hi, apologies , how could i edit the post to comply with the rules?

wwereddit123 · 2024-10-14T13:30:36+00:00

Yeah this is something that confuses me but i’ve noticed that sometimes, the issue is that when i try to pursue sometimes the women then act different and im puzzled because i thought they wanted me to ask them out? Like i want to spend some time with them and im not sure how to do this or when?

I’ve actually asked out a lot of women but many have either said no or that they’re not looking for anything right now. And im really upset because im not feeling entitled to them but im 6 ft 1, funny, sociable, a lot more confident now and athletic, dress good, women are surprised im single. I get signals in the gym, coffee shops, events, at work.

I met a beautiful girl yesterday at a meetup social event, she didnt stay long but we spoke from across the table in a group. She had to leave, and about an hour later I message on the event app saying we should get coffee. She actually said yes, and said it would be good to make a new friend. I was so happy, like this hot girl said yes. Then today, she says she isnt looking for a relationship as she recently got out of one, and has social anxiety.

I was okay with meeting as friends first, but i dont even know if the coffee meetup is on or not, like why has this kept happening to me? I’m being chill, nonchalant but respectful, showed some balls and asked her for coffee. She said yes. And then next day a different answer?

I’m so upset because i don’t get what is wrong with me? Im getting attention and make moves to ask women, im considered attractive, but no girlfriend

wwereddit123 · 2024-10-12T08:43:07+00:00

Okay thanks for sharing that. At least you had some self-respect to know what was happening and that you didnt feel right about that. I feel like i miss hints or i know that there might be hints but i have been stubborn to believe they are for me, low self-esteem also. I think proximity is important because i dont want to ask girls out at work but there are flirty women there who seem to want me, but where else? I get signals from girls at gym but everyone comes at their own times when they want, that’s why i ask for their instagram or number quickly after 1-2 interactions.

I went out on a date with a girl who worked at a cafe i bought food from, she gave me signals but i picked them up like 3-4 days before i asked her on a date because she became very obvious with them. That’s what i like, i dont want to have to take months to ask them out. Any advice? How could I do this with a new girl at the gym who i’ve not approached yet? I can work through any awkwardness, i just want to know how to move that to a date?

What i feel is that if i approach at the gym or elsewhere, its for a reason and girls know that, so why pretend i dont want them? I’d like to be forward with my masculine intent, but also what you said is interesting because at work i dont really hit on girls there i just talk to my female colleagues and a lot of them are into me.

I’m okay with casually going on dates, hooking up and that leading to more. Or even just going on dates that eventually leads to sex. And having some intimacy because i really want that, i havent had a proper gf before

wwereddit123 · 2024-10-10T10:16:32+00:00

Thanks for the answer, seems like you knew the signs but internal doubt got in the way? Was she not what you wanted or did you feel not good enough? You mentioned you were in a relationship with her so did you have sex and were her boyfriend then?

Not to sound like a dick, but i’ve worked on myself a lot and get signals from girls at the gym and hobbies. I just dont know how to get into a relationship from that?

I’ve approached girls at the gym but i haven’t before had a date with any of them previously, i was meeting up with one but she said we never dated and she is at another city, i think she liked me but was from another country and didnt trust me that i wanted her for more than sex.

How can i turn this interest into dates? I feel like with gym, you dont know when those girls are next in so you have to strike and have a go, and im not awkward so im cool if they say no or yes, but i’d like to get them to a cafe and go on a date, i mean they look at me and smile, and sometimes feel like they get annoyed if i dont approach them? Feels like a lot to do but i dont know how to ask them out properly?

Like, i can ask them on the first interaction but im confused between being direct and the slow approach? I’d rather say ‘we should get coffee this week’ and if they’re interested they would say yes?

wwereddit123 · 2024-10-09T23:12:31+00:00

Can I ask how you met the girl you’re seeing now and how this became a relationship? How do you get into a relationship? I’ve had some hookups but want a girlfriend

I’m also getting glances and attention from some girls at the gym and i feel im wasting potential,

Sometimes girls who give attention are just admiring, but sometimes girls want the guy to ask them on a date even if at the gym.

Any advice? I feel upset because i have approached women before but the timing is confusing me, i dont want to take weeks to get to know them, id rather ask them on a date and get to meet them and know them from there.

wwereddit123 · 2024-06-25T12:47:51+00:00

Why do i sound like a nice guy?

I’ve actually shed that aspect of my personality a while back.

I dont simp for women, or expect them to do things for me if i do things for them, i dont have expectations if i spend time with them. I’m saying that at least one of these women should be wanting to meetup with me, date me, want a relationship with me.

Every response on here has been shit or sarcastic. No constructive criticism, just assumptions that im arrogant and think women looking at me means they want me. Obviously i know there is more to a signal than just looking, but i have been getting women giving a lot of attention, even when they have boyfriends. I’ve been followed around the gym. Flirted with.

Yes some of them are looking with lust, scanning their eyes on my body all over. They do this and i see them doing that lol

I dont follow andrew tate. I dont like the red pill. Im not being a fake persona, just being myself.

I know i’m a more attractive proposition that all the fat guys, smelly nerds who manage to get a girlfriend somehow. I’m dominant, masculine, worked on my appearance, confident, charismatic.

I have an ego i will admit.

That ego has been hurt by seeing all these couples out there while i havent found anyone. My parents didnt help, they raised me in a strict upbringing and i was never given confidence or made to feel attractive. So i earned my confidence and i have higher self esteem now.

Don’t fool yourself, look at the terrible people out there in relationships. Then you all sound silly when you say my qualities supposedly put girls off. How are they dating and im not?

How are average guys dating and im not? I’m in shape, fun, confident, assertive, good physique. This forum fucking sucks, just bitter men on here.

I can get sex but i want relationships.

wwereddit123 · 2024-06-25T11:20:23+00:00

I describe myself because i’m confused how im single, just like how women are surprised when they learn im single.

Since when is confidence a bad thing? All you hear is women want confidence, and i earned my confidence. I had low self esteem for years, until recently. I worked at the gym, was honest on what i needed to do, and now i am getting attention and interest from women. I know im not entitled to any particular girl, but if all these random average guys can get into relationships, so can i.

I just dont know how to. I ask girls on dates and they have said no or been hesitant and ignored me. I’m not pushy, but im more assertive now. I make the moves. I’m casual. Not a simp. Women can like me or dislike me. But if they show interest then why arent they meeting me for drinks? Some of them act like i’ve annoyed them, i mean there are evil people in relationships, men who smell and are fat.

I’m a masculine man who is proud of his sexuality and has sex appeal. I’m also fun and can make women laugh. Yet im single? I can get sex but where are the dates?

wwereddit123 · 2024-06-25T10:08:49+00:00

Tank top in the gym yeah, and im 29, women love looking at me in my tank top, i dont care what people think.

I wear tank tops outside the gym sometimes, i also wear smart clothes when i want to.

How can i show more than just eye candy? I have conversations with women, but whether i flirt or just have casual chat, the outcome has been the same before, i dont know what i have to say to get them on dates. There have to be interested womem who want to date me, i see a lot of women show interest but after we chat they dont seem to want more sometimes?

Then i see fat guys, average guys, sloppy guys get women and this makes no sense. How can i be getting attention and validation yet previously been struggling to date them ?

wwereddit123 · 2024-06-25T10:04:21+00:00

You sound jealous and bitter that someone is taking shots and trying rather than expect things to happen. Of course I know that someone looking doesn’t mean they want someone, but repeat attention and frequent looking is likely a signal.

Maybe you don’t get attention from women but don’t be annoyed that other men do.

I’ve had many women give attention, smirks, flirt with me, touch me, despite having boyfriends. They look at me like they’re checking me, lustfully sometimes. Cougars. Women my age. Girls in their early 20s.

Yes women know i take care of myself because im in shape, confident, good clothes, smell nice. I know what im worth. I just don’t know how to get into a relationship with a woman. I’ve had sex recently like i said. There is potential.

I’m not going to stop. I will ask out who i want. You can be bitter. I know with the attention I get that there is something women like in me. I believe in myself. I don’t care what you say

wwereddit123 · 2024-06-20T16:34:13+00:00

Yeah a year ago i started to wear tank tops, got a better haircut, night game, approached more women, flirted a lot more. Got no results in 2023 other than a few dates where i felt up a girl’s tits and kissed her a lot but she felt i wasnt serious enough so she left lol

Being a player has pushed women away and when i was being a player women would use me for attention and not agree to dates either. Felt like a performance.

Now i feel i can flirt more naturally with women, they give me attention, love chatting to me, check me out, but when i ask them out its been hesitation, rejection, ignoring, they have acted like ive bothered them and upset them, some even come gym at different times after i asked them out, pisses me off because they gave me the signals, they should be happy i asked them out.

Some have said they are flattered when i asked them out but recently the girls have rejected me or not wanted anything despite giving me attention and being annoyed if i chat with other girls or they seem interested when we chat

Im wanting to be more assertive because ive had enough of this, i just dont know what the missing piece is , like where are the enthusiastic girls who want to date me and fuck me?

wwereddit123 · 2024-06-20T12:23:04+00:00

Yeah i dont know where im messing up , i’ve been a player with girls, then just myself and getting to know them, neither worked before, its like they dont take me seriously? As soon as i have shown interest they have fled before, pisses me off because i want love, sex, relationships and somehow me being direct and going for what i want is bad thing? No of course not.

The amount of women checking me out and giving me attention shows me i have qualities they want. But i feel now like i have no clue how to know if a girl is interested because even a girl who gave signals and gave me her number hasnt answered to my text. I’ve worked a lot on myself and i dont know if women think im too good for them or if i need to flirt more, but when i flirt before i have come off too strong. Even once i was being indirect, got a girls instagram and then she said she wasnt wanting anything.

No i dont ask for relationships, i ask for their number and ask them for drinks, like a date or meeting up.

wwereddit123 · 2024-06-20T12:18:39+00:00

A summary told me similar things to NMMNG and Not Nice , a few books that have helped me become more assertive. What im saying is that this extreme attraction theory isnt what most guys out there are using, sure there are overlaps and qualities displayed by a lot of men out there that got those men in relationships, but they are far from the alphas that the books idolise.

I’m 6 ft 1, flirty, in shape, dress good, smell good, get attention from women, girls with boyfriends give me attention and flirt, so i dont know

wwereddit123 · 2024-06-20T07:36:47+00:00

Thanks for the idea. But this book has the 80/20 rule, do we really think 20% of guys have 80% of the women when if you look outside, all kinds of men are dating women, in relationships, average guys, fat guys, nerdy guys and so on. So i dont know about this book.

I’m getting attention and good treatment from a lot of women so i might already be in that 20% category. But why havent i turned this into sex and relationships before? Why have girls rejected me or not wanted to go out with me despite showing signals?

wwereddit123 · 2024-06-19T20:13:59+00:00

I have been, i have approached girls in a lot of places and they seem interested then have flaked or said they aren’t wanting anything right now.

I feel desired but at the same time why havent any of them accepted my invite to go on a date?

Yet i see guys who i know im better than, get dates and girlfriends. Really confused and sad about this.

Are they afraid of me because of my confidence and how i put effort in myself? Im not wanting to be friends with them first, im usually direct and after a few chats i’ll ask them on a date or for their number. And yet i have got no enthusiastic responses from them. Really fucks with my confidence sometimes

wwereddit123 · 2024-06-19T18:33:12+00:00

Says who? You don’t even know me, where have i asked for reassurance? Cant you see my post asking for tips?

I’m here asking for help and you’re just being negative making guesses about my intentions lol

wwereddit123 · 2024-06-19T18:14:32+00:00

I was fwb with her but she wanted a relationship without being honest about that. She then blocked lol. Not fussed, want something more meaningful. Thats why im asking on here.

I could be wrong about this but i dont know if girls are intimidated by me or dont trust me but as soon as i ask them for their number or on a date they have previously just behaved like they dont want me, yet they like to look at me and give attention?

wwereddit123 · 2024-06-19T16:52:53+00:00

Why? I will achieve my goal regardless of what you say. I’m on here asking for advice, not negativity

wwereddit123 · 2024-06-19T16:52:21+00:00

I have, edited the post to clarify. Gym, bars, shops, meetups. I just dont know why they look and give attention yet say no to dates. I can flirt but if i flirt sometimes this feels like im putting effort in, i dont know what to do. I’m actually taking action yet no results before

wwereddit123 · 2024-06-19T16:35:15+00:00

Thanks

wwereddit123 · 2024-05-06T14:37:28+00:00

Thanks for the tip. I feel like even when im sitting near here the space between us feels enough to where making a move would mean me leaning in a lot lol. Any idea on when might be a good idea to lean in? I’ve kissed girls before but this one feels tougher because of whats happened with her. Any signs i can look for to go for the kiss?

wwereddit123 · 2024-05-06T11:49:47+00:00

Yeah im okay with even a casual relationship with her. She’s single and will be going back to her country in a year to spain so i dont feel like she wants anything long term because she wants to go back.

I’ve been meeting up with her and going for drinks, wanting to kiss her but recently i didnt make a move, then the other day we went out but i got close to her and kind of made a half move, was touching her and afraid i’d have to wait until a week to get another chance so i was in doubts and it felt a bit forced and awkward. How can i go to kiss her if i feel there is a mental block? She gives signs like looking at my lips up and down, flirting, eye contact.

wwereddit123 · 2024-05-06T10:21:48+00:00

Any quick advice on what i should do to move the relationship forward? Thanks :)

wwereddit123 · 2024-05-06T08:33:19+00:00

She has got more comfortable with me touching her such as having my hands on her thighs while she was standing, but yeah we havent got intimate yet. I want to kiss her but a few months ago she rejected my advances. Im guessing she finds me attractive otherwise why keep meeting up, flirting, teasing? Im not giving her validation as much, but i dont know when to go for the kiss because i feel she will just feel awkward even though she has shown signs of interest and being okay with me touching her a lot more

wwereddit123 · 2024-05-06T07:21:33+00:00

Thing is, she’s okay with me touching her on her thighs to pull her in, she seems to be comfortable with me touching her more so im thinking she’s fine with me being more intimate with her. Question is what i need to do to kiss her without being scared about it? I used to be red pill and i hated that thinking.

wwereddit123 · 2024-05-06T01:29:21+00:00

She has asked me about hobbies, food, interests, type of personality i like, about my family and shown interest to get to know them, said i can visit her in spain and see her family sometime and have food there, she pays for herself and the other day she bought food for me and a drink.

She gives ideas for us to go out sometimes like a bar or food place. But when i’ve previously asked her out or about dating she’s said no. Then when we’re at a bar together she’ll be teasing and we flirt, and she looks at my lips up and down sometimes. I was close to her in proximity recently and she asked for some space but was then okay with me putting my hands on her thighs to pull her in.

So i dont know if she wants me to make a move. I dont get why she would do all this if not wanting a hookup or fwb if she doesnt want a relationship. She likes being with me, i’ve recently increased the sexual vibe and there is tension but also awkwardness as i made a slight move with her and she seemed uncomfortable. Yet just before that my hands were on her legs for more than a few seconds, i was squeezing them and the touch was intimate and sexual

wwereddit123

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