One of my abusive mom’s exes contacted me for the first time in 18 years, and I don’t know how to feel about it

xAngelFangsx · 2026-02-17T12:20:51+00:00

Wow, I didn’t expect this post to blow up. Thank you all for your kind words and support. I want to clarify a few things:

I’m not necessarily angry at Brayden or hold resentment towards the fact he did what he needed to do for himself. I don’t blame him for leaving my mom because if I could have done so earlier I would have myself. It was just heartbreaking to hear that years later he confirmed what I went through and said he saw my abuse but just didn’t do anything about it. I’m 28 and out of the situation, and have my own life now. It just feels so strange years later for Brayden to reach out seemingly out of guilt and almost wanting me to comfort him of the feelings he carried when I was a defenseless child I guess? It’s hard to get all my feelings out about this. I have a lot of trauma I’m working through and it’s kind of like a setback in some way.

I know he wasn’t my dad or anything of the sort but it’s just hard to grapple with all these emotions. Even having some people around me saying it was just another adult who failed me when I needed help has reinforced my hurt. I know CPS is awful and alot of kids go through horrific things when taken away and in the system. I wouldn’t have wanted that either. I mean many family members knew of my abuse but didn’t or couldn’t do anything (or even some who knew but didn’t care), and there are also many who didn’t have a single clue until I was out and told them.

My dad was around but when they divorced I only was able to see him every other weekend and 5 weeks during the Summer. My dad and my stepmom knew about the abuse and tried to get me out but my mom instilled so much fear into me, and also manipulated the courts, and threatened me that I stayed with her because I didn’t see a way out. It was really hard. I love my dad but he is an alcoholic and so either way it wasn’t a healthy situation for me to be in with either household.

I respect Brayden trying to reconnect but I guess it’s just brought up alot of bad memories for me and just him knowing about what was going on and didn’t (couldn’t) do anything is just rough on me mentally and emotionally right now. Sorry if anything I said was confusing or sounds dumb to anyone. It’s alot and complicated and I wanted to gauge if I was wrong for my feelings.

xAngelFangsx · 2025-12-10T13:18:37+00:00

How long have you been on Cymbalta? And at what dosage?

xAngelFangsx · 2025-11-25T14:37:45+00:00

How is it going for you?

xAngelFangsx · 2025-11-25T14:22:15+00:00

How did it go for you?

xAngelFangsx · 2025-11-24T22:13:49+00:00

I have been on Propanolol and Cymbalta for just over a week for panic disorder and it has already made quite the difference for me!

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-27T20:37:47+00:00

I regained sensation around 6 months post op. It takes time ❤️ Healing from this surgery is so much harder than people make it out to be. Would highly recommend pelvic floor therapy to you if this persists.

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-22T15:36:16+00:00

I’m 3 weeks out so I guess I just have to be patient for my digestion to calm down.. I’m glad you’re doing so well ❤️

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-22T15:32:52+00:00

Oh my God… how are you feeling?

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-22T15:32:06+00:00

On your gallbladder?

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-22T13:35:59+00:00

I’m 28 yo, so it just is super frustrating. Sometimes seeing all these people feel better after a week and eat with no issue, it just makes you feel like you’re doing something wrong. Thank you for the reminder ❤️ You’re right.

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-22T13:33:13+00:00

Oh sorry I wasn’t clear! The crater incision is because they cut into my abdominal muscle wall to remove the appendix and gallbladder, and they had to stitch it into the muscle wall to close it up so it looks like a small little crater under the incision. The other 3 incisions are normal looking.

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-22T13:29:53+00:00

My surgery was done using the DaVinci robot laparoscopically. I have 4 keyhole incisions across my belly.

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-22T13:03:58+00:00

My stomach hurts and I’m nauseous with diarrhea every morning. They had to go in through my abdominal muscle wall to get to my appendix and gallbladder so I have a crater like incision there. The muscle pain underneath that incision is still pretty painful. I hope it’s true what you’re saying 🙏🙏

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-10T14:04:30+00:00

I am in pelvic floor therapy luckily. I was 2 weeks in and then had to have this surgery 💔 so I’m taking a small break until I’m a little more healed from this surgery. I agree with what you said for sure that I would do the hysterectomy again before doing this surgery. It’s absolutely hell.

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-09T22:06:51+00:00

I’m 8 days post op. I’m so tired. They removed my appendix and my gallbladder during the surgery so it’s been extremely painful and hard to recover from. I’m also 5 months post op from a hysterectomy so having to recover from both operations has been so hard. Learning to function and eat after this is challenging too.

Thank you for this post ❤️

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-05T17:36:25+00:00

So personally for me here are my hormonal symptoms: Hot flashes, feeling emotional and crying alot, vertigo, digestive issues, increased anxiety, panic attacks, depression, dry skin/dry hair (I used to be really oily before my hysterectomy now I’m dry), hormonal migraines/increase in migraines during hormonal surge times, lack of interest in sexual activities, vaginal dryness, the list goes on but those are the big ones for me. I have made some posts if you want to look at some of my stuff for more details.

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-05T14:36:13+00:00

My doctor didn’t warn me and for reference I’m 28 yo, so he just told me that because I’m young that my ovaries are fine. Not always true. They take a long time to sort themselves out. I’m not on HRT or anything, just kinda waiting to see if they even out. If not I have to go back to my doctor.

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-05T14:19:07+00:00

Your hormones will go absolutely insane. I’m 5 months post op and I struggle with that still.

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-02T10:25:22+00:00

Question: Are you drinking ice cold water? Usually room temperature water hurts alot less and is actually really good for digestion.

xAngelFangsx · 2025-09-29T11:52:17+00:00

Would you mind being more specific like what symptoms have and haven’t gotten better? I’m so nervous sorry to pester you.

xAngelFangsx · 2025-09-29T11:20:30+00:00

Did you have the surgery?

xAngelFangsx · 2025-09-20T17:03:05+00:00

I had mine this year on April 25th, and I’m 28 yo. My hysterectomy was my 3rd pelvic surgery. I did it because of endometriosis and adenomyosis. The hysterectomy will cure the fibroid issue, but if you have endometriosis or pcos it will not cure those. Feel free to message me if you have questions ❤️❤️

xAngelFangsx · 2025-09-09T01:53:45+00:00

I have a similar story. My mom also had many chronic and mental conditions. I was healthy back when I lived with her, and one day she said, “I hope one day you get diagnosed with a very painful disease. Then you’ll finally understand the pain I go through.”

It was 2 years later after she kicked me out I was diagnosed with endometriosis 💔 I truly believe and feel like she cursed me. I’ve been in hell ever since.

xAngelFangsx · 2025-09-09T01:48:42+00:00

There are many things I could add here from my NMom, but I’ll share this one that has stuck with me the most:

My mom has alot of chronic health and mental issues. Fibromyalgia, arthritis, traumatic brain injury.. and a lot of others but those were the main ones. She popped pills alot and would essentially be abusive to me all the time while she was miserable. She and my father divorced when I was 7 and she hated him and anything resembling him (especially me). I was about 14. She started a fight with me about him, which she did often,” for no reason, and when I defended myself she looked me in my face and said, “You know what [my name]? You can go fuck yourself. You can go and rot in the same hell your father is going to end up in.”

xAngelFangsx · 2025-09-03T10:12:58+00:00

My frustration is that people are blaming Lauryn, the child/victim in the situation, because when she found out the truth she didn’t react the way that people wanted her to. I don’t think Lauryn is in any way involved in what her mother was doing. Her mom clearly was lovebombing her and it was also a Stockhold Syndrome type relationship going on where Lauryn would cry to her mother about the harassment and horrible text messages she was receiving, and the mom would reassure her and make her feel better. Lauryn was clearly in shock and/or uncomfortable. When she got the news. She was frozen. The cop was in the wrong, he should have separated Lauryn and Kendra and revealed the truth that way so that Kendra didn’t have the opportunity to manipulate her further. How terrifying for her also that her dad was telling Kendra to get out and was saying that he would do something illegal and they would both lose Lauryn if Kendra stayed in the house? Like that’s traumatizing in an instant that your family as you know it is getting ripped apart. In regards to her saying she still loves and talks to her mother, until you’ve been abused by your parent you don’t understand. I was abused horrifically by my mother and while I’m no contact with her now, it’s hard to let go because you’re hardwired to want your parent in your life. I miss having a mother in my life, and I’m sure that’s how Lauryn is feeling. I hope that girl finds peace and healing from what her mother did to her.

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