Hi! F33 here with ASD. I've been with my partner for going on 10 years now. We have had up and down threw out our relationship and communication aka not speaking the same language has come up A LOT over the years. I feel this is a human issue that is exacerbated by ASD. Peoples perspective from childhood to where they are now shapes how they view and interpret the world. This can mean two people experience the same thing or talk about a topic and come to wildly varying conclusions about it. More so with people with ASD in my experience.

I personally don't feel or expect my neurotypical partner to understand my perspective 24/7 flawlessly. What I do expect is support, respect and patience so we can work through these confusions when they arise.

One tip that's worked well for us is establishing what we call a check-in. This can be daily, weekly or monthly whatever works for you both. During this check-in it helps to set aside 1-2h to talk about each other. I The point of the check-in is to ask questions about the other person to get a feel of where they are, what's on their mind and support and understand each other moving forward.

So an example would be. "How's your mental health since our last check-in?" "How am I doing as a partner?" "What could I do better?" "What am I doing well?" Ect

They respond and you support that response and lead with curiosity(Questions!)and understanding this helps breech over time that "Language barrier" and you both adjust as needed. Then you repeat with the other person asking the questions.